Will It Ever End?
by TimeForWolves
Summary: Their lives were bound together from the beginning - even if they didn't know it at first. The story of how they never gave up, even when it seemed like the world was going to end. Pairing; JP/LE SB/MM RL/DM.
1. Chapter 1 - The Feel of Summer

**A/N This is just something that has been going round in my head for a while, I may continue it or I may not. Please tell me what you think and whether I should carry on with this or not.**

**Disclaimer - If I owed any of these characters, none of them would have died. The credit for these characers goes to the wonderful Jo x**

**Please R&amp;R**

**_Molteaser x_ **

* * *

_Cool wind blows back my hair at night_  
_Feels like summer, kind of feels all right_  
_With my love, I lie back in the sun_  
_Look at all the people chasing time, on the run_  
_I hear laughter in the raging sea_  
_Voices on the wind are calling out to me_  
_Deep inside, so wild and free_  
_Music in my heart, the fire inside of me_  
_All night long you turn me on and baby you're the one_  
_Till the days of summer, till the days of summer_

_\- Days of Summer, Paisley Brain Cells_

* * *

Chapter One – The Feel of Summer

"That's a joke!" Marlene McKinnon exclaimed. "I cannot believe you just did that! Anyone within a ten mile radius could see that what you did was a form of cheating!"

Sirius Black smirked at her triumphantly from the other side of a small coffee table. "I really doubt that McKinnon." He said. "They'd have to have remarkable eyesight to see this chess board from that distance."

James Potter, sitting in between the two competitors snorted with laughter. He immediately tried to cover it up with a cough when Marlene glared at him.

"Very funny Black," Marlene snapped, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "But I didn't think cheating was a typical Gryffindor trait – it sound like more of a Slytherin one if you ask me."

"Who's asking you!" Sirius shot back, instantly firing up. "And how exactly did I cheat?"

"You tried to distract me so _he _–" she pointed a finger at James who looked nervous "Switched the Queen with the Pawn. Don't think I didn't notice."

"Chill out McKinnon, it's just a chess game." Sirius laughed.

"Trying to kiss me isn't part of a chess game." Marlene retorted.

"Don't pretend you didn't like it!" Sirius sang.

Marlene made a disgusted noise and stood up. "I'm not one of your blonde bimbos Black."

"You're blonde." Sirius pointed out annoyingly.

Marlene snorted. "Oh, well spotted!" and she stalked into the kitchen.

James watched her go then turned to Sirius, shaking his head. "Your ego will be the death of you one day Padfoot."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." James replied, following Marlene out of the living room and into the large kitchen.

James Potter was a tall sixteen year old with sun-darkened skin, messy black hair that never lay flat and glasses that perched on the bridge of his nose from which a pair of hazel brown eyes looked out.

His best friend and brother in all but blood, Sirius Black on the other hand was taller than James by just a few centimetres. Sirius was carelessly handsome with black hair that flopped casually into his face, high cheekbones and eyes that were a peculiar shade of grey.

Sirius and James had been as thick as thieves together since the day they'd met but even Sirius' friendship with James didn't go back as far as Marlene's with James. She and James had been best friends ever since their parents had attended the same party together. James and Marlene had grown up in each other's company and were so close; they considered each other as family.

Right now, Sirius and Marlene were both staying at James' house for a few weeks of the summer holidays.

Marlene was tall but only so she came up to James' shoulder. She had a willowy figure, long blond hair that was slightly wavy, a round face and light blue eyes. At that moment she was leaning on the side and talking to Mrs Potter.

The moment Sirius entered the room Marlene shot him a death glare.

Sirius sighed heavily. "I've told you before Lena – if you take your eye off the game, you'll lose it."

"And I've told you before to quit calling me that!" Marlene countered.

"Alright, alright!" Sirius said, perching on the table. "I hear you McKinnon."

Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Sirius, what have you been up to?" Mrs Potter asked.

"Why-do-you-always-think-it's-me?!" Sirius said all in one breath, clutching his heart dramatically.

"Because it always is you honey." Mrs Potter replied, turning away from him.

Sirius shrugged and hoisted himself up so he was sitting on the small table in the centre of the kitchen.

"Mrs P. Is it ok if I leave this afternoon?" Marlene asked suddenly. "It's not that I don't like staying here, but Remus and Peter will be here soon and I'm expected at Lily's this evening."

"Not to worry dear." Mrs Potter said, patting her arm gently. "It's been a pleasure having you here as always. You go and start packing now."

Marlene smiled at her, glanced apologetically at James and then walked out of the room.

"I'm blaming this on you Padfoot." James growled, turning to face his best friend.

"What did I do?" Sirius asked, an all-too-innocent expression plastered all over his face.

"You shouldn't have kissed her."

"I didn't." Sirius retorted. "I _tried_ to kiss her."

"And now she's leaving." James said, rolling his eyes at Sirius' unique sense of righteousness.

"Ohhhhh I understand now! _Jamesie doesn't want to give Lena up to Lilyflower._ Don't worry Prongs, despite the fact she might try, Evans won't be able to poison Lena away from you." Sirius' eyes took on a different glint and he rubbed his hands together enthusiastically. "Cheer up, she's been here over a week. Mooney and Wormy are arriving this afternoon! The Marauding can beg –" he broke off when he caught Mrs Potter's eye.

~O~O~O~O~

Three hours later, two more boys had joined the Potter household.

Remus Lupin, a lanky boy with sandy hair that fell into his eyes which were a amber colour and a couple of deep scars over his face was bent over a guitar, strumming quietly while Peter Pettigrew who was short, blonde and had small watery eyes and slightly buck teeth lay on the floor, building a card house out of a pack of Exploding Snap cards.

Marlene strolled into the living room wearing a light blue t-shirt and denim shorts, her light hair pulled back into a ponytail. She surveyed them all for half a second before saying brightly "James, I'm going to head off now."

James jumped up from his seat and wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug which Marlene returned with a laugh.

"Bye Marley," he muttered. "Say 'hi' to Lily for me will you?"

Marlene scoffed, letting go of him and stepping back. "Not going to happen James." She turned to face Sirius who stuck his hand out.

Marlene shook it good naturedly. "Always a pleasure Black." She said. "Now let go you git!"

Sirius laughed. "See you on the train McKinnon."

Rolling her eyes, Marlene turned to face Remus and Peter. "See you at school Lupin, Pettigrew." She said, nodding her farewell. Before either of them could reply though, she spun on her heel and waltzed out of the room.

They heard the front door close and the sound of the Knight Bus coming and going before anyone spoke.

"Why don't I get first name privileges?" Remus asked into the silence.

"Because it's McKinnon's way of showing affection..." Sirius said, sighing contentedly and leaning back in his seat.

"But she doesn't call James 'Potter'" Peter said from his spot on the floor. His face looked confused.

"Exactly!" Sirius announced triumphantly, closing his eyes and smiling at his own logic.

Peter's expression, if anything, grew even more confused.

~O~O~O~O~

It was evening by the time that Marlene reached Lily's house and the warm summer sun was just low in the sky above the rooftops and gardens of East London.

The first person she saw when she arrived was her best friend, Dorcas Meadowes, standing in Lily's garden, smoking.

Dorcas was a small witch of muggle parentage but nobody could ever say that she was of a lower status than any pureblood without getting the shit beaten out of them. She was what some people called 'Sirius Black's female equal'; she had dated nearly as many people as he had and had a crap relationship with her parents.

At the minute, Dorcas was wearing a long sleeved shirt that cut below the shoulders and was emblazoned with the words 'New York Baby!' across the front as well as a pair of close fitting jeans. Her long curly brown hair was pulled over one shoulder and her brown eyes stared out over the road absentmindedly.

"Hey, well look who it is! Back from flaming America and brown as a piece of burnt toast!" Marlene called.

"_Marlene McKinnon_.." Dorcas replied slowly. "Back from hell!"

"Hell?" Marlene asked indignantly, dropping her bags down by her feet.

"It's what Lily likes to refer Potter's house to." Dorcas said shrugging.

Marlene laughed then eyed the cigarette in Dorcas' hand. "Does Lily know your smoking in her backyard right now?"

"Nope." Dorcas said, popping the 'p' with her lips. "She's inside having a raging argument with _darling_ Petunia right now." She offered Marlene one along with a lighter.

"Oh dear..." Marlene muttered, holding the cigarette between her lips and lighting it up.

"So what's happened?" Dorcas asked curiously. "We weren't expecting you till tomorrow."

"Nothing's happened." Marlene said. "Just don't tell James that I left early. He thinks this is all arranged." She blew out a cloud of smoke and watched as it vanished into thin air.

"Should you have arranged it?" Dorcas asked. ""Why _are_ you early? Thought you loved spending time with Potter."

"I do!" Marlene insisted. "I just couldn't stand to be in the same house as Black any longer – it's like he lives there or something!"

"I've heard his parents are twats." Dorcas said fairly. "Well I know what it's like to have a shit family." She spoke lightly but Marlene wasn't convinced.

"So what did he do?" Dorcas asked curiously after a few second of silence.

Marlene scowled. "He tried to kiss me to win a chess game – how low is that?"

Dorcas spluttered a laugh, dropping her cigarette onto the ground and stamping it out. "I wouldn't know Marls; if someone as hot as Black tried to kiss me, I don't think I'd push them away."

"I know you wouldn't." Marlene grumbled.

"I'd watch out." Dorcas waned quietly. "I wouldn't let Lily catch you smoking right after she's almost burned the bloody house down."

"Good thinking." Marlene muttered, stamping out her cigarette just as the front door opened and a girl of medium height with long red hair came stomping out into the garden. Lily was wearing a checked top with frayed denim shorts and converse. She was also scowling darkly. However, when she caught sight of Marlene, her expression brightened considerably.

"Hey Marls!" she called.

"Heya Lily." Marlene said, embracing her friend. "You're in a good mood I see."

Lily huffed angrily. "Petunia's boyfriend is the most obnoxious, fat git I've ever met!"

"Worse than Potter?" Dorcas asked cheekily.

"Don't push your host Meadowes!" Lily growled, pointing at her.

Dorcas just laughed. "Oh Lily," she said, putting her hands on her friend's shoulders. "You poor, confused girl."

Lily pushed Dorcas' arms away as Marlene laughed.

"I am not confused!"

"Bullshit!" Marlene said carelessly. "You claim that you hate James and yet you barely shut up about him."

"That is – _that is not true!"_ Lily spluttered indignantly. "I'll get you for that Marlene!" she aimed a swipe at her friend but Marlene dodged it easily.

"Never try and hit a Quidditch player Lils!" Dorcas called. "They're way to quick for your slow butt!"

Marlene and Lily both stopped and stared at her.

"What?" Dorcas asked, her smile fading instantly.

"Did she just say '_butt'?" _Lily asked Marlene.

"I think she did." Marlene said. "She's become American!" and Marlene burst out laughing.

Shouting insults at the pair of them, Dorcas chased Marlene and Lily back into the house, all three of them shrieking with laughter.

~O~O~O~O~

_[HALF A WEEK LATER]_

"I wish you didn't have to go Pads." James said quietly.

"So do I." Sirius replied. His usually mischievous face had darkened into a gloomy that seemed to spread through all the occupants of the Potter's living room.

Mrs Potter gave Sirius a tight hug. "Maybe we can meet up to go to Diagon Alley together."

"Yeah," Sirius said quietly. "I'd like that. Cheers Mrs P."

"Look after yourself son." Mr Potter said kindly, giving Sirius a pat on the shoulder.

Sirius just nodded and hoisted his bag higher onto his shoulder, turning to face James.

"See you soon Padfoot." James said, giving his friend a hug before letting go and allowing Sirius to step into the fireplace.

"Bye Prongs." Sirius said. He took a deep breath, said clearly "number twelve, Grimmuald Place!" threw the floo powder into the fire at his feet and vanished in a burst of green flames.

There was a tense silence.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Mrs Potter asked worriedly.

"I don't know mum." James replied. He couldn't bring himself to lie to her about this. "I really just don't know."


	2. Chapter 2 - A Broken Home

**A/N So, I know that I haven't updated anything in ages and for that I apologise. however, I have decided to continue with this story so here you go with chapter two...**

****Disclaimer - If I owed any of these characters, none of them would have died. The credit for these characers goes to the wonderful Jo x** **

* * *

_I play dead _  
_ it stops the hurting_  
_I play dead_  
_ and hurting stops_  
_It's sometimes just like sleeping_  
_ curling up inside my private tortures_  
_I nestle into pain_  
_ hug suffering_  
_ caress every ache_  
_I play dead_  
_it stops the hurting._

_\- Play Dead, Bjork_

* * *

Chapter Two – A Broken Home

"Next summer, you're coming to mine." Marlene said, leaning back on her hands and closing her eyes against the white light of the summer sun.

Her, Dorcas and Lily were relaxing on a picnic rug in the Evans' front garden. Lily's parents weren't rich but they were defiantly wealthy enough to afford a nice house with a garden in the outer suburbs of London, just next to a quiet street.

"Your house is next to the sea isn't it?" Lily asked.

"Right next to the Potter's mansion." Dorcas said innocently.

Lily huffed irritably.

"How is Potter anyway?" Dorcas mused, ignoring Lily.

"Fine." Marlene said her forehead creasing as she frowned. "Sirius left earlier this morning and James is always moody when that happens."

"What's the deal with his parents anyway?" Lily asked with an indifferent air that implied that she was only asking because Marlene was talking about it.

"I don't really know." Marlene said, looking slightly pissed off with Lily's casualness towards the subject. "They're both very traditional. James doesn't say much about them."

They lapsed into a slightly uncomfortable silence after that. Marlene was scowling at the grass, Lily was looking out over the road with her jaw clenched and Dorcas sighed and fell back onto the ground, closing her eyes.

Their silence was broken by a large owl swooping down above Marlene and dropping a letter into her lap.

Marlene let out a small shriek and sat bolt upright as the owl disappeared over the houses. Then she picked up the letter, looking at it curiously.

"Who's it from?" Dorcas asked slowly.

"It looks like James' handwriting..." Marlene trailed off, her eyes skimming over the words on the parchment. "I've got to go." She said suddenly. "I'm sorry Lils, I'll be back by tomorrow."

"What's happened?" Lily asked, getting to her feet at the same time as Marlene did.

"I don't know exactly." Marlene replied. "I'll see you tomorrow." And without waiting for a reply, Marlene hurried out of the gate and out of sight.

~O~O~O~O~

_[2 HOURS EARLIER]_

James lay on his back on the sofa in the living room, observing the ceiling. The family had just eaten lunch and were all now feeling rather drowsy.

Mr Potter was sitting in his easy chair, reading _The Daily Mail_ and James could hear his mother in the next room singing to herself as she did whatever it was she was doing.

James was wondering how Marlene was, and whether she could get Lily over to his house in the remainder of the holidays. But no, Marlene wouldn't help. She considered his obsession with Lily Evans a 'lost cause' and was always urging him to relax and date a few other girls whenever she found herself involved in one of the 'let's get Lily' conversations that him and Sirius always had.

Maybe, this year, he'd rethink over her advice. There might be some wisdom in what she was saying – after all, she was Lily's close friend. There couldn't be any harm in dating someone else – just to see what he felt about it. Maybe it might make Lily jealous...

_Sirius never dated anyone_. James thought, sighing. And if he did, it was never for a long period of time. Sirius wasn't good with commitment. Anything like that just freaked him out and triggered the flight part of his brain.

James sighed again but his thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell ringing. He didn't pay much attention to it as his parents were always having guests from the Ministry.

His father however glanced up from his newspaper with a frown. He obviously hadn't been expecting anyone.

James heard his mother answer the door.

"Jay!" she called suddenly. "Can you come out here please!"

Something in the strain and urgency of her voice made him spring from his seat faster than usual. He hurried into the landing. "I haven't done anything –" he began but stopped short when he saw who it was standing in the porch, leaning on his mother.

It was Sirius.

He looked a complete mess; his hair was plastered to his face with what looked like a mixture of sweat and blood, his eyes were red-rimmed and his face was pale and covered in cuts and bruises.

"Padfoot?" James blurted. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I-" Sirius broke off and collapsed as his legs gave out beneath him.

"Harold!" Mrs Potter yelled, trying to support Sirius.

James hurried forwards just as his dad came sprinting into the hallway, wand drawn. When he saw a barely conscious Sirius being held up by his wife and son, he let out a string of swear words.

James stared at him, impression despite the circumstances.

"Harold, we need to get him inside!" Mrs Potter said sharply.

Mr Potter took over from his wife and supported most of Sirius' weight.

"Prongs..?" Sirius mumbled, his eyes opening for a moment.

"I'm here Pads." James said, helping his father lay his friend down on the bed in the room that Sirius called his own. "It's all alright now."

Sirius breathed out and sunk into the pillows as Mrs Potter started bustling around, healing the wounds on Sirius' face.

"Where are you going?" She asked as James pushed himself to his feet and made for the door.

"To write a letter," James muttered, opening the door and stepping out of the room.

~O~O~O~O~

_[3 HOURS LATER]_

Marlene burst through the Potter's front door to be met by James who had been waiting for her. He immediately grabbed her arm and started dragging her into the house.

"James, what the hell is going on?" Marlene gasped, out of breath from running.

James came to a stop in the landing outside his bedroom, turning to face her, his expression that of worry.

"What's happened?" Marlene asked more quietly.

"Mar, Sirius turned up a few hours ago – no, _listen!"_ for at the mention of Sirius, Marlene had sighed loudly and rolled her eyes.

"He left for his parents this morning, you know that. He turned up covered in blood and his face was all cut up. Won't tell us anything – is refusing to get up, refusing to eat. Can you talk to him? Please?"

Marlene frowned. "Why did you ask me to come? Why not Remus or Peter? I'm probably the last person he wants to see right now."

James was shaking his head even as she spoke. "He listens to you – he really does."

Marlene shifted from foot to foot. "What makes you think I'll make any difference? I can't see how I'll do any better than you James; he's your _best friend_."

"Just try Marley, please..." James pleaded. "For me?"

Marlene sighed and put her hand on the doorknob.

"Thank you!" James said. He paused slightly then he said, "I think his parents used the Cruciatus Curse on him. Just warning you..."

Marlene kept her face straight but her hand tightened on the door handle. She nodded once then walked in, followed by a nervous James.

~O~O~O~O~

Sirius was lying face up on the bed. The cuts on his face had been healed and there was no trace that anything had happened to him besides a faint bruise on his cheekbone and the haunted look in his eyes.

Marlene hesitated in the centre of the room, trying to think about how she should go about this.

"McKinnon," Sirius said without so much as glancing at her.

"Black," Marlene replied. "You need to get up."

"I don't want to right now." Sirius replied, turning his face away from her.

"I wasn't asking you!" Marlene growled, striding over and pulling the pillow out from under his head.

Sirius scowled at her. "You seemed determined to make my life shit McKinnon."

"It looks as if you're doing a pretty decent job of that without my help." Marlene snapped back. "Go and get in that shower right now so you can wash properly."

Groaning, Sirius rolled over so he was lying face down. Marlene waited, tapping her foot against the floor, waiting.

"Fine," Sirius growled after a moment. He heaved himself off the bed with what seemed tremendous effort, grabbed the towel and clothes that James was offering him then stomped into the bathroom.

"Well..." James trailed off, looked around and then back at Marlene. "I'm gonna leave you to it Marley, you're doing a great job!"

"James, wait –" Marlene said but the door had already clicked shut. She shook her head. James could handle running around as a stag every full moon with a werewolf but he couldn't handle not knowing what to do if his best friend was hurting.

Marlene stared around the room vacantly. It was very similar to the other rooms in the Potter's house. Light, open with cream walls. The window was open and the thin white drapes were blowing inwards. Although it was the middle of summer and the air coming through the window was cool and not cold, Marlene shivered. She thought about how much Sirius had been shoving away into the back of his mind and she marvelled slightly at the strength he must have shown to get through it all.

A cough interrupted her thoughts and she spun around to face Sirius standing at the door to the bathroom. He was dressed in the clothes that James had given him and his hair was damp and ruffled from where he'd made half decent attempts to dry it.

"Hey," Marlene said not quite sure what his mood was.

Sirius ignored this and looked around. "Where's James?"

"Um, he had to go downstairs." Marlene said, biting her lip.

Sirius took her meaning and sighed. "I feel bad for what I'm doing to him – he shouldn't have to deal with this."

"James wouldn't want it any other way and you know it." Marlene said fiercely. Maybe a bit too fierce because Sirius looked up at her, puzzled.

"What I mean is that James cares about you Sirius. If you are hurt them he would want to be there for you no matter what. He just doesn't really know what to do at the moment."

"And you do?" Sirius asked with an edge to his voice.

Marlene shrugged. "I've seen it before." She said. It was true, a similar thing had happened to Dorcas a few years previously. Marlene had learned how to cope with hurt friends.

Sirius heard the seriousness in her voice and didn't comment.

The bed bounced slightly as Marlene sat down beside him. Unexpectedly, her hand grasped his shoulder. "You don't have to tell me what happened, Sirius." She whispered. "But please tell James – for his sake as well as yours. He's worried about you." She hesitated then said. "So am I."

Sirius looked at her. There was a strange pain in his chest, the closest thing he could describe it as was longing. Longing to be cared for and held by someone who cared. And so he, being Sirius Black who never refused any sort of feeling like this, went with it and wrapped his arms around Marlene, pressing his face into her shoulder and breathing in her fresh smell of summer.

Marlene, however much surprised by this gesture, put her arms around him and rubbed his back, trying to comfort him as best she could. "It'll be alright Sirius." She whispered. "It will all turn out alright in the end."

* * *

**A/N I would really like to keep this story going, I think it has some potential. BUT, I would like people to give me some feedback for this, just a couple of reviews please before I post the next chapter. **

**Thanks for reading as always, I hope you've enjoyed. **


	3. Chapter 3 - An Interesting Train Journey

**A/N So, I know that I haven't updated anything in ages and for that I apologise. however, I have decided to continue with this story so here you go with chapter two...**

**Disclaimer - If I owed any of these characters, none of them would have died. The credit for these characters goes to the wonderful Jo x**

* * *

_"__Once upon a time_

_There was a boy and there was a girl._

_Hearts that intertwined,_

_They lived in a different kind of world._

_\- Forbidden Love, Madonna_

* * *

Chapter Three: An Interesting Train Journey

"I'm not joking when I say that it's a real pain that you're a prefect Lils." Dorcas grumbled, entering their compartment on the Hogwarts Express.

Her, Marlene and Lily had been joined my the last two of their friends - Mary McDonald and Alice Fortscue.

Lily scowled and flicked a strand of red hair out of her eyes. "It's hardly my fault."

"You like hanging out with Lupin though don't you Dor?" Marlene observed from the far corner of the compartment.

Dorcas shrugged, "he's a nice guy."

"Really the only Marauders who are dickheads are Sirius and James." Mary, a bespectacled strawberry blonde said. She pushed her glasses further up her nose and shrugged.

"James isn't that Bad..." Marlene muttered quietly.

Alice who was small, round faced and had short black hair laughed. "Marls, I think you're fighting a losing battle here."

Marlene frowned at them all and flicked her quidditch magazine up so it covered her face.

The rest of the girls either sighed or rolled their eyes at her stubborn behaviour. It was a trait commonly found in Marlene.

Dorcas sighed and suddenly stood up, not being able to stand the heavy silence any longer. "I'm going for a smoke, you coming Marls?"

"I'm supposed to be quitting." Came Marlene's reply from behind the magazine.

Dorcas scoffed, "yeah right, I saw you earlier."

Marlene raised her eyes above her mag and locked eyes with Dorcas for a second. Then she sat up and threw her magazine to one side. "Yeah alright."

"Guyys," Lily groaned. "Don't, it really is bad for you."

"You forget Lils," Dorcas said waving her hands as Marlene opened the compartment door, "we're witches, it's fine!"

"Seeya!" Marlene said, spinning and striding off down the train corridor, Dorcas following close behind.

* * *

In the Marauder's compartment, Sirius Black leant back and put his hands behind his head, grinning widely at his friends.

James smiled back at him almost uncertainly. The changes he'd seen in his friend over the past few days had been so dramatic that James wasn't sure when Sirius would crack next. After Marlene had left to go back to Lily's, Sirius had been weird - spending little time at home and going off on his motorbike loads. The word unstable sprung to his min. Now however, Sirius seemed his normal self.

Outside the compartment, James saw Marlene and her friend Dorcas pass by. Marlene glanced through the glass but didn't stop.

Sirius quirked an eyebrow as they walked by, "my, those two have become rather fit recently."

James glared at him.

"What?" Sirius asked him innocently. "They have!"

James muttered something that sounded a lot like "she's like my sister.."

Sirius shook his head. "So?"

Peter, who had been looking between the two of them anxiously, suddenly shook up out of his seat. "Food trolley!"

That eased some of the tension between Sirius and James and they both started shouting instructions to Peter about what they wanted to eat.

Somebody tapped on the compartment door and James looked up. Emmaline Vance was standing outside, tapping her long, claw like fingernails against the glass.

"This'll be for you Sirius..." James muttered, moving away from him.

Sirius sighed and got up, opened the compartment door and stood aside to let Emmaline in. She swept past James and Peter without giving either of them as second glance and threw herself on Sirius who almost brushed her aside dismissively.

James and Peter exchanged looks and both turned away from the couple.

"Hey marauders!" A voice at the door called and everyone looked up to see Dorcas Meadowes standing there, her brown hair pulled over one shoulder, a cigarette sticking out of the corner of her mouth. "Me and Marlene are having a smoke down in the second carriage, we were wondering if Black," she waved a hand in his direction without looking at him, "or any of you others would like to join..." Dorcas trailed off as her gaze fell on Emmaline. She took the fag out of her mouth with two fingers and blew out in obvious annoyance. "What the bloody hell is she doing with you?"

James coughed and both girls stopped glaring daggers at each other and turned to face him. "Thank you Dorcas but... I don't smoke."

Dorcas rolled her eyes, "ugh! Another boring one. If it was up to you and Lily the world would be a lot more of a better place."

James grinned. "Help me win her over and it may yet still be."

"Nice try Potter but I'm not getting involved in your affair with that girl. She's fiery."

"I know..." James sighed.

Dorcas's face set and she turned to face Sirius, completely blanking the girl next to him. "Black? Are you in or not?"

Sirius stood up. "Yeah I'll come."

"Excellent!" Dorcas said briskly, then as Emmaline stood up to follow them, she growled. "Not you Vance."

"But - " Emmaline said, looking to the others for support and finding none.

"Leave it," Sirius said quietly, almost impatiently.

Emmaline glared at Dorcas who just stuck her cigarette back in her mouth and smirked at her.

* * *

"What is it with you and Emma?" Sirius asked as they walked along the train.

Dorcas scoffed. "She's one hell of a bitch Black and if you don't know that..." She shrugged and carried on.

"But what is your actual problem?" Sirius asked, matching her strides easily.

Dorcas stopped and turned to face him. She pulled the cigarette out of her mouth and looked at it thoughtfully. "Maybe I should give up smoking..." She murmured. Then shrugged and put it back between her lips again. "Listen Black," she said. "It's got nothing to do with you, if I don't like someone, then it don't like them and nothing anyone says is gonna change my mind about that."

She stared him down, daring him with her eyes to contradict him or argue back but Sirius knew that he wouldn't. Dorcas was one of the few women in the school who intimidated him, and when he said 'few', he meant her, Professor McGonagall and on occasion Marlene.

When it became clear that he wasn't going to fight back, Dorcas turned and led the rest of the way to the last carriage on the train. There stood Marlene, her back against the door with the window open. She turned and caught sight of them. "Howdy Black," she drawled in a thick Texas accent.

"Nicely done," Dorcas approved.

"Thanks," Marlene nodded and winked at her.

Sirius stared for a second, not quite sure what had just happened but then he decided to shrug it off and he lit up his own fag.

"So, Black, you're the only one of the marauders brave enough to come smoke with us?" Marlene said, smiling and tapping her cigarette against the train door so the ash got blown away in the wind. "I thought that might be the case."

"James had never smoked in his life, neither has Remus." Sirius chuckled. "So yes, I've come alone."

"Only just..." Dorcas scowled. "I had to practically wrestle you away from Vance, what is she exactly? Your pet leech?"

"Doe..." Marlene said quietly and Dorcas shut her mouth and stared out of the window.

Suddenly she sighed and chucked her cigarette out of the window. "Right, that's it." She announced. "I'm quitting smoking. That was my last one!"

"You said that last week," Marlene told her.

"You don't have to believe me," Dorcas grumbled. "I'll leave you to it." And she spun and walked off back the way she had come

"Bye!" Marlene called after her retreating back but she got no reply. Sighing, Marlene turned to face Sirius. "Don't listen to her, she'll be back on the fags by tomorrow."

"What was all that about then?" Sirius asked, frowning.

Marlene studied him then snuffed out her cigarette and leant back against the sideboard. "She gets moody after encounters with Vance."

"What is it between them?" Sirius asked, moving across so he was next to her.

Marlene shrugged, "I've no idea, she's never given me a reason."

Sirius shook his head. "That's crazy," he muttered, drawing in a breath and breathing it out in a puff of smoke that was quickly caught by the wind and disappeared.

"That's Dorcas for you," Marlene chuckled. "Why was Vance in your compartment anyway?"

Sirius breathed out heavily. "She erm, came to see me."

"Oh?" Marlene raised her eyebrows inquisitively. "How come?"

"I saw her a few times over the holidays." Sirius said. For some reason he couldn't meet her eye.

Marlene smirked and glanced away, "you never change Black."

Sirius shrugged and threw his cigarette out of the window. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?" He asked, leaning towards her casually.

Marlene turned but hadn't counted on how close his face actually was to hers and she froze.

Sirius smirked and locked his gaze with hers. She stared back at him with wide blue eyes. He leant closer, so close now that he could feel her breath on his face.

Marlene blinked and turned her face away, biting her lip and shaking her head slightly.

Sirius sighed and retreated to his original position. "Not one of those girls then McKinnon?" He asked, trying to make the question sound careless.

"Not really Sirius," Marlene said quietly.

"Okay then," Sirius said, smiling to cover up the fact that being turned down by her actually affected him. "I'll see you round them." This time he couldn't quite keep the edge out of his voice.

"Yeah," Marlene said in monotone.

As he walked away, Sirius shook his head, trying to dispel the feeling he could only describe as disappointment that had been sprung upon him, all the while feeling her eyes on his back.

* * *

**A/N Ooh Sirius. Doesnt everyone want someone like him in their lives? Anyway, I shall update asap, thank you for the reviews x much obliged to the two guest readers who took the time to write them, they are appreciated :)**** .**

**Thanks for reading as always, I hope you've enjoyed. **


	4. Chapter 4 - Fun By The Lake

**A/N Not a lot to say really, I had a laugh writing this chapter. I'd like at least 5 reviews before I post the next chapter so don't leave it to others to do for you, press that review button!**

**Disclaimer - If I owed any of these characters, none of them would have died. The credit for these characters goes to the wonderful Jo x**

* * *

_"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."_

_\- Katharine Hepburn _

* * *

Chapter Four: Fun By The Lake

"I'm not that surprised," Dorcas said after Marlene had finished telling her what had happened on the train. It had already been a few days but Marlene hadn't been able to talk to her friends about it as they had barely been alone together.

"He tried to kiss you?" Alice Fortescue asked for the third time.

"Do you have wax in your ears Al?" Mary McDonald asked sounding exasperated. She turned her blue eyes back to Marlene. "Why did you stop him?"

Marlene looked at her incredulously. "Because he's a prat Mary. I'm not the sort of person who goes sleeping around with guys just because of their reputation."

Mary narrowed her eyes at this dig. She was a well known flirt among the students of Hogwarts. "I've heard that he's very good in bed."

Marlene snorted, "who'd you hear that from? Vance?" She sighed and turned away, "you can have him Mary, I couldn't care less."

"Are you going to tell James?" Dorcas asked from deep in her favourite armchair. She'd been sitting quietly watching the exchange between her two friends and only once it seemed to have passed did she speak up.

"James would tear Sirius apart," Alice said thoughtfully. "Marauder or not, he can get very protective of you Marls."

"I'm not going to tell James, it's none of his business," Marlene said forcefully which put an end to that idea.

"What's none of my business?" James asked, dropping into an armchair next to Alice.

"It's none of your business Jamesie, that's the whole point!" Sirius said, ruffling his best friend's hair. His eyes met Marlene's for a instant then passed over her.

Marlene shook her head at James and flipped open a copy of the Daily Prophet.

"Who wants a game of chess?" James asked, deciding to abandon hope of trying to get Marlene to tell him what was going on before he'd even started.

"I'm up for that," Remus said, moving to sit opposite his friend, next to Dorcas as James set out the chess board.

"Great," Dorcas muttered, "so our space is going to be invaded by Marauders."

Remus half glanced at her but otherwise paid her little attention.

Dorcas scowled, she didn't really like being ignored.

Marlene shot her a sympathetic glance but turned when she heard Mary say loudly, "there's a spare seat here Black, if you want?"

Sirius, who up until this point had been unconsciously looking at Marlene, tuned towards the platinum blonde girl. He shot her a winning smile, "who am I to turn down a pretty girl?"

Mary smiled flirtatiously and flicked her hair back over her shoulder, moving over to make room on the chair. Sirius grinned and squeezed himself into the seat which was obviously way too small for both of them.

"Mary, I think you're going to have to do this," Sirius said and he grabbed her legs and pulled them over his so she was almost sitting on him.

Marlene, sitting in the corner on the other side of Dorcas, scowled slightly. Then she remembered that she couldn't stand Black and her face resumed an indifferent expression. However, she refused to look as Mary placed her hand on Sirius's chest and he wrapped his around her waist, a little too high up to have been done innocently.

Dorcas glanced at Marlene's set face and refused to meet her friends eye. She could imagine how watching the exchange may feel like a slight betrayal to Marlene, however much she tried to convince herself and everyone else how much she hated the handsome Gryffindor sitting opposite her. Sometimes Marlene reminded Dorcas a bit of Lily and her attitude towards James.

Returning her attention to the game of chess that was becoming more and more heated, Dorcas ignored Mary and Sirius. James had Remus backed into a corner and his little chess pieces were shouting obnoxious things at Remus's.

"Checkmate!" James called finally. "I win, how does defeat taste Moony?"

"Not that bad really," Remus said leaning back in his seat and smiling.

"Doesn't it taste bitter at all?" Dorcas asked suddenly.

Remus looked at her in surprise. "No," he said finally, "it would if I'd expected to win maybe, but no one beats James at chess."

"But doesn't loosing anything taste slightly bitter?" Dorcas pushed. She didn't know why she was bugging him for an answer and, from the look of him, neither did he.

"A game of chess is hardly worth sulking about. It ruins the mood and therefore the rest of the evening."

Dorcas nodded, "a valid point."

Remus pursed his lips and surveyed her for a moment before turning away and engaging Peter in conversation.

* * *

The next morning dawned with a light, September sunshine. It was warm outside at lunch and the sixth year Gryffindor girls wasted no time in making their way to their favourite spot by the lake.

"I love days like this," Alice said, sitting with her feet stretched out on the grass and her shoes and socks tossed carelessly to the side. She was leaning back on her elbows, her dark hair that was cut short still long enough to fall into her eyes.

"So do I," Lily sighed and looked out over the lake. Suddenly she squinted over at point not that far away from them. "What are they doing?!" She snapped, leaping up and glaring against the sun.

Both Marlene and Dorcas looked up from where they had been sitting at the waters edge with their feet dangling into the cool lake.

"What are you on about Lily?" Mary asked from where she was lying next to Alice, filing her nails.

"Oh God," Dorcas muttered when she'd pinpointed what Lily had been looking at. "They are mental, absolutely mental."

"What is it?" Marlene asked but Lily had already taken off around the lake, striding in the direction of a load of boys.

Dorcas, Marlene and Alice all scrambled to their feet but Mary just sat up, not really looking that bothered.

Exchanging glances, the three girls all raced after Lily, completely ignoring the fact that all of them were barefoot. Mary grumbled and got to her feet grudgingly, following in their wake.

They caught up with Lily just as she reached the circle of boys and there came an almighty splash.

"What in Merlin's name do you think you are doing?!" Lily said fiercely, pushing through to get to the guilty party. To nobody's surprise it was James, Sirius and Remus. Marlene glanced around for Peter and when she found him, she almost doubled over with laughter. Peter was swimming in the black lake and, judging by the ripples and the whitewater surrounding him, he'd just been thrown in.

"Potter, please don't tell me you just threw him in..." Lily groaned. "Of all the things, that is one of the most idiotic."

Dorcas had now started giggling and Marlene had to press her hand to her mouth as she looked at the perfectly innocent expressions plastered on the remaining Marauders faces. "Peter was complaining on the heat," James said conversationally. "So we suggested a swim."

"Did that cover throwing him?" Lily snapped.

"We didn't - "

"Don't lie Potter, I saw you. You had him by his hands and feet and were swinging him over the lake!"

James looked stumped for a split second then he smiled, "you are forever observant Evans, it's a quality I often admire in women."

Lily glared, "don't start that rubbish again Potter."

" but it's not rubbi - "

"Evans," Sirius said loudly, cutting across James and pushing him to the side. "Peter wanted to be thrown in." He turned and shouted out over the water, "didn't you Pete?"

Peter, who was swimming around in the lake waved cheerfully, "this is lovely! Come and join me!"

"See?" Sirius said, facing Lily again. "It's not like we forced him into it, that would make us pretty crap friends wouldn't it?"

Marlene knew that Lily had lost this battle and it seemed that Lily knew that too. She shot one last glare at James before turning and striding back to where their stuff was.

Marlene turned as well but not before James caught her eye and winked at her. Marlene rolled her eyes and grinned.

"I wouldn't mind going for a dip if you came with me Black," Mary purred as the rest of her friends walked away. Dorcas, who had waited long enough to hear this, grabbed Mary's arm and dragged her away from Sirius who's eyes lingered, not on Mary, but on the other blond girl walking ahead of her.

"Padfoot," Remus said quietly as James helped a dripping Peter out of the lake.

Sirius turned to look at him, raising his eyebrows.

"Don't let James catch you looking at Marlene like that, he'd beat you to a pulp."

Sirius scoffed, "McKinnon, I wasn't looking at her!" He lied easily. "I was just comparing McDonald's ass to Meadowes's."

Remus narrowed his eyes. Sirius could tell that he didn't believe him but he couldn't accuse Sirius of lying.

"And what was your verdict?" Remus asked, glancing at the two retreating girls.

Sirius pretended to consider, "well since I think Meadows is taken, I'll have to say McDonald."

"Dorcas has a boyfriend?" Remus asked sounding both surprised and a little annoyed.

"No," Sirius said slyly. "But a good friend of mine has an eye on her I think."

Remus hit him.

* * *

**A/N Ah Remy, who doesn't love that boy? Things get tenser in the next chapter :) I'd like 5 reviews before I post it...**

**Thanks for reading as always, I hope you've enjoyed.**


	5. Chapter 5 - Hogsmead Planning

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter Five: Hogsmead Planning

* * *

_"Ah shit, so my clothes are all counterfeit_

_So my name isn't on the list_

_No you can't come in, so go home boys_

_Slip round the back look at that_

_There's a cracked toilet window  
_

_Drop to the floor covers us through the dork, I'm on fire_

_Working all the time  
_

_Work is such a bind  
_

_Got some money to spend  
_

_Living for the weekend"_

\- Living for the Weekend, Hard-Fi

* * *

"I tell you what," Dorcas Meadowes said, making crazy and slightly eccentric arm movements at Alice. "I'll go and ask him if he wants to join us all in Hogsmead this weekend. That way, you'll be with us all and it won't be a proper date!"

Alice shuffled uncomfortably under the stares of her best friends. "Well, I suppose so..." she said quietly. "But don't mention me!" She hastened to add as Dorcas smiled and stood abruptly. "Don't worry Al, subtly is my middle name."

"I thought it was Angela," Marlene mused from where she was sitting on the sofa with her legs curled underneath her, her cat sat purring on her lap.

Dorcas grimaced and waved her away, turning to stride across the common room on her long tanned legs, attracting the gazes of a few surrounding boys, their eyes following her as she walked past, heading straight for the Head boy Frank Longbottom who was deep in conversation with Remus Lupin.

"Longbottom!" Dorcas called and across on the sofas, Alice buried her face in her hands, muttering in embarrassment. Lily patted her shoulder gently, trying not to let her mouth curve upwards into a smile and failing miserably.

"Meadowes," Frank said, sitting back in his chair to survey her curiously. He had a sort of carelessness about him which reminded Dorcas slightly of Sirius Black. Except, with his kind brown eyes and mop of dark hair which fell down to his ear lobes, she considered him much nicer and considerate than the marauder.

"May I have a word?" Dorcas said casually, noting Lupin's presence and nodding at him slightly.

Frank glanced at Remus who shrugged and waved a hand saying he didn't mind.

Dorcas looked him over once then lead Frank over to the window.

* * *

Sighing, Remus sat back in his seat and watched them converse quietly in the corner. He couldn't make out a word despite his enhanced hearing but he could see that Dorcas was talking quickly in an animated way. She waved a hand back at her friends and Frank looked over her shoulder at them. Remus glanced their way in time to see Marlene give them a little wave and a smirk before Frank nodded and shook Dorcas's hand with an amused expression.

When he returned, the expression hadn't faded and Remus was about to ask what had just transpired but James, Sirius and Peter burst into the common room, bubbling with excitement.

"Moony!" James called, even though he was close enough that Remus would've heard him anyway.

Flinching at the loudness of his friends, Remus turned and looked at them quizzically. "What?"

"Pete's got a date!" Sirius crowed grinning proudly like it was his doing.

Peter blushed furiously as Remus blinked several times. "Who?"

"Hattie Andrews in the year below," Sirius grinned and thumped his small friend on the back.

"Well I never!" Remus exclaimed then laughed, "well done mate!"

"Your turn next Moony!" James said gleefully, looking like he was about to start dancing with excitement.

"Nuh uh Prongs," Sirius said, jumping to Remus's rescue. "We need to get you a date for this weekend before we start with Remus."

James's entire body seemed to deflate at this statement. "But -"

"No buts!" Sirius interjected. "McKinnon says you should date a few other girls and for once, I agree with her."

Remus chuckled at the woe-begone expression in James's face but Sirius wouldn't budge.

"Are you taking anyone to Hogsmead next weekend Frank?" James asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Apparently I'm escorting five girls to the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer," Frank said looking amused.

"Ooh, Longbottom you player!" Sirius joked.

"Who are the lucky girls then?" James grinned.

"Dorcas, Alice, Marlene, Mary and Lily." Frank said counting them off on his fingers and then gesturing to where the guilty party sat.

There was a heavy silence then, "WHAT?" James screeched. "Wha - how?"

Frank laughed and shook his head at James's reaction.

James relaxed but his eyes remained narrowed, "oh you're joking - good one!"

But Frank shook his head again, "I'm not joking James, Dorcas asked me just a moment ago." He paused then added nonchalantly "apparently it's because one of them likes me but Dorcas didn't say who."

Remus relaxed while James tensed up and shot a look at the five girls over by the fireplace, his eyes narrowed. Sirius was looking slightly put out but Remus assumed it was down to the face that James was annoyed.

"You know who to leave alone don't you?" Sirius said almost aggressively to Frank.

Frank chuckled, "I'll let Evans be, don't worry. She's not really my type anyway," he added, gazing over at the fireplace.

Rather than looking relieved, James appeared offended, "what -"

Remus rolled his eyes at James's typical behaviour as Sirius cut him off, saying sharply "leave McKinnon alone too."

"McKinnon?" Frank asked, raising an eyebrow at Sirius.

"She's practically James's sister," Peter explained because James seemed to annoyed to speak.

Frank nodded and Remus shot Sirius a look, his friend had almost slipped up then.

"Okay, apart from Marlene and Lily, is there anyone else I should keep away from?" Frank joked, rolling his eyes.

"Actually," Remus said quietly, "I'd prefer it if you stayed off Dorcas too."

Frank grinned as Sirius whooped, "he admits it!" He gave a loud "HA" and pointed at Remus crying loudly, "Remus Lupin you old fool!"

"Shut up Padfoot," James said, rolling his eyes, obviously still a bit grumpy.

Sirius completely ignored him. "Ask her to Hogsmead!"

"No I don't think so," Remus said hesitantly.

"Why the fuck not?!" Sirius looked incredulous.

Remus shrugged. He couldn't tell them the real reason while Frank was there.

James suddenly looked like he'd perked up and his expression changed into that of someone who'd just had the most brilliant idea. "Why don't we come with you Frank?" He said excitedly.

Frank hesitated while Sirius cackled at the hilariousness of the idea. "Mate, Evans would tear you apart. As for McKinnon and Meadowes, I don't even want to know what they'd do to you if you crashed their trip without an invite."

"Marls wouldn't mind -" James started but was cut off again by a snort from Sirius.

"Prongs," he said sternly, "you know how she gets about her time with those guys." He raised his tone and, sounding surprisingly like Marlene's voice, said "oh James! Leave me alone - I want quality time with my friends!"

"She doesn't sound like that," James said darkly.

"Yes, she does." Sirius retorted.

James looked annoyed for a second then shrugged. "Alright, I suppose we could meet you in the Three Broomsticks for a drink Frank?"

Frank shrugged, "if you're sure, I mean, let it be on your own head."

James grinned, "excellent!"


	6. Chapter 6 - Hogsmead

**A/N okay so like I've been doing on my other fanfics, I apologise for it taking so long to upload but unfortunately college has been draining me of everything creative that isn't art based... Ugh. Anyway, here you go and a nice long chapter... I try to update as soon as I can, my exams are coming to an end now so hopefully it'll be soon! X**

**Read and Review, you know how happy it makes me:) **

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

_"If I had a heart I could love you,_

_If I had a voice I could sing._

_After the night when I wake up,_

_I'll see what tomorrow brings."_

_\- If I Had A Heart, Fever Ray_

* * *

Chapter 6: Hogsmead

Marlene McKinnon's heels clicked down the hallway as she strode towards the Great Hall, long hair swishing behind her. She entered the Hall and spotted the person she was looking for and walked over to him, tapping him on the shoulder.

Sirius Black spun around in his seat from where he'd been talking to Remus and raised his eyebrows inquiringly at her, "Yes McKinnon?"

Marlene placed her hands on her hips and stared him down, "What's this I hear about setting James up with someone?"

Sirius sighed heavily, "It's just for one Hogsmead trip AND I swear it was originally your idea in the first place."

"I know it was," Marlene replied frostily. "That's why I need to look over whoever it is to make sure they aren't a slut or some blonde bimbo that is hung on you."

Sirius turned back to his food, raising his eyebrows and muttering under his breath, "Says the blonde..."

Marlene just shook her head, "Anyway Black, who are you dragging?"

"Why, you interested Lena?"

"Fuck off" Marlene snapped and turned her attention to his friend who had been keeping a low profile, "I was actually wondering if Remus wanted to come to Hogsmead with me this weekend?"

"What?" Both Sirius and Remus said at the same time. Sirius incredulous, Remus surprised.

"Well, I'll be on my own and since James came complaining to me about how Black here is making him have a blind date, I figured you'd need some company - well, likewise." Marlene shrugged and ignored Sirius's outraged spluttering, looking at Remus.

Remus considered it then nodded, "Yeah alright."

"Moony!" Sirius hissed, "You know you can't go on a date with one of them!"

"Oh and why's that?" Marlene glared down at him.

Sirius just avoided her eyes and muttered something about James. Marlene just laughed at him and looked back at Remus. "Okay sorted," she shot him a winning grin and spun around - almost hitting Sirius across the face with her bag - and flounced out of the Great Hall.

Sirius turned back to Remus and shook his head, "I can't believe you'd do that to Prongs."

Remus made a derisive snort and looked back at his book, saying "As if you don't eye her up whenever she enters the room. You're such a hypocrite Sirius." He looked back up at Sirius's fade which looked like a mix of anger and frustration. "And besides Pads, it's not a date - I think even James would know that; I'm not Marlene's type."

Sirius's expression changed to confusion, Who is exactly?"

"Diggory, last I heard" Remus replied, shoving a forkful of food into his mouth.

"Dick," Sirius said bluntly.

Remus sighed but hadn't expected anything more, "What a surprise," he muttered under his breath but Sirius ignored him.

* * *

"Seriously, I don't know why I'm not just going to Hogsmead on my own!" Dorcas muttered as she stomped down the stairs to the common room, "I mean why the fuck did I agree to go with Max fucking MaClair?!"

"Doe, calm it with the swearing," Lily said calmly.

Dorcas gritted her teeth and stopped swearing.

"If you get away you can come join me and Lupin, I promised James I'd meet him for a Butterbeer as well so he doesn't have to be on his own with whoever Black roped him into taking all day." Marlene said, stashing her fags and lipstick in her bag and rolling her eyes at the antics of the Marauders.

"Well I keep my fingers crossed," Dorcas said as they arrived in the Gryffindor Common room. She checked her watch and groaned, "I'll see you later."

Marlene shook her head as her best friend dragged herself across the room and through the Portrait hole.

"Oh shoot, Potters coming, I better go meet Bert." Lily said, ducking her head and practically running out of the exit.

"Have fun!" Marlene called as the the door slammed shut behind her. She shook her head again and turned to face James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. James and Peter both looked nervous but the other two were perfectly relaxed.

"You'll be fine Pete," Remus was saying as they came nearer Marlene. "Just be yourself."

"Yeah, and if she doesn't like that, she's not worth your time!" Sirius added, his eyes meeting Marlene's.

Marlene looked away and turned towards the portrait hole. This day promised to be an interesting one.

* * *

So far, she'd rather enjoyed hanging out with Remus. He was one of the Marauders that Marlene got to spend little time with but had always wanted to get to know better. They chatted and joked about Sirius and James's dates for the day, laughing especially hard at James's face when he set eyes on his, poor girl.

"Sometimes I think Sirius loves all the attention he gets," Remus said as they walked down the town street towards the water fountain in the centre. "Other times I know he hates it," Remus paused and shrugged, "he's one of my best friends and I still don't understand how he works."

"I don't think any of us do," Marlene said quietly, looking down into the fountain at all the coins lying at the bottom. "I don't even think he does most of the time."

"James told me what happened over the summer," Remus said quietly. "He told me what you did, it must have been hard."

Marlene snorted, "I didn't exactly make it easier for him." She sighed, "It's weird seeing the pair of them like that... If Sirius is hurting, James feels it as well and doesn't know what to do."

"What did you do?" Remus asked gently.

Marlene glanced at him and sighed, she'd never told anyone what had happened at James's house - neither Lily nor Dorcas would understand. "There were a lot of tears," she finally said. "Sirius was freaking out because of what his parents did and James was freaking out because he didn't have clue how to handle it." She dug in her bag for a cigarette and stuck it in her mouth while she lit it.

Remus stayed silent, feeling that she wasn't done talking yet and noticing that her hands shook a little.

Marlene blew out a cloud of smoke and seemed to relax. "I think Sirius really let out some shit, I'm not even sure I want to think about everything that he told me and James but it's not nice."

Remus nodded, he knew how Sirius's parents had abused him, physically and emotionally. It was why, he supposed, Sirius could never bring himself to commit to anything except his friends; the fear of getting hurt was all too real.

"It's why he doesn't do relationships isn't it?" Marlene asked, echoing Remus's thoughts.

Remus sighed then nodded, knowing there was no point trying to deny it to her. From the sounds of it, Sirius had told her pretty much everything, which also explained the difference in attitude towards her this year, almost more wary somehow.

"I think I'd treat him better if he wasn't such a dick," Marlene muttered, sticking her cigarette back in her mouth then glancing up at him. "I hate the way he treats women all the time, it pisses me off royally."

Remus snorted, "I can see that. You make it pretty obvious."

Marlene sighed, "I don't mean to make it that obvious." She sighed and shrugged, leaning back over the water, holding on with just her hands so her long blonde hair skimmed the surface of the fountain. She stared up at the sky which was a light blue. It wasn't cold yet but it definitely had a chilly-ness in the air. October was beginning to come to an end and the brown leaves littered the floor. Remus looked at Marlene and smiled to himself, he felt relaxed around her which was something he didn't often feel around anyone other than Sirius, James and Peter. Maybe it was because she knew what he was, having guessed about a year ago; James was never any good at lying to her.

"Whatcha looking at Lupin?" Marlene joked, she was sitting upright again grinning at him.

Remus just shrugged, "just thinking, I'm glad you're friends with James."

Marlene's grin, if possible, got even wider. "So am I Remy, so am I... Life would be just that much duller." She glanced at her watch, "talking of which, we should go and see if James has made it to the Three Broomsticks."

Remus nodded and Marlene hopped off the fountain to walk next to him towards the pub.

The Three Broomsticks was pretty empty for a Saturday so Marlene spotted James relatively fast, which was amazing, considering James was sat in the darkest corner, looking extremely depressed with a pint of something in front of him.

"James," Marlene greeted him and he looked up at her.

Marlene stopped in her tracks, "What the fuck happened to you?" She said, looking half bemused, half concerned.

James's hair was lying flat on his head, his eyes were unfocused and his glasses were so far down his nose, it was a surprise he could even see who was standing in front of him.

"Marley," he groaned and let his head fall onto the table with a thud.

Marlene slid into the seat next to him, "You're drunk," she muttered, lifting him up so he was sitting upright again. James just groaned again and slammed his head back down to the table.

Marlene frowned and glanced at Remus for an explanation. Remus sighed and nodded at the table opposite.

"Ah," Marlene said when she looked over and saw Lily cuddled up to Bertram Aubrey. She turned back to James and patted his head comfortingly but that didn't seem to help.

Remus sighed and sat down opposite them, making an attempt to block the couple from James's sight, muttering quietly "The things I do... Just out of curiosity, what is that?" He added, pointing at James's pint.

James didn't answer so Marlene picked it up and sniffed cautiously before taking a sip. "James!" She slammed the glass down. "Why are you drinking a pint of whiskey?"

James just made a muffled, animalistic noise that Marlene couldn't be bothered to decipher. "Seriously James, I know you like her and everything but is that any reason to sit here and torture yourself?"

James's head shot up to glare across the room, "They're all over each other!" He growled.

Marlene and Remus both looked round to see Lily and Bertram practically on each other's laps. Marlene pulled a face, disgusted. "That is gross," she muttered, looking away.

"I'm not even sure that's legal," a voice said next to them and Marlene twisted in her seat to glare at Sirius.

"Not helpful," she hissed at him, gesturing to James who looked like he wanted his life to end right there.

Sirius frowned at his best friend and looked at Marlene in confusion, "He's like this because Evans is over there sucking face with a fucking seventh year Ravenclaw twat?"

Marlene nodded and rubbed James on the back. Sirius sighed and sat down on his other side.

"Did you have a good day?" Remus asked Sirius with a grin.

Sirius rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Not in the slightest, terrible choice on my behalf." He sighed, "Maybe next time I'll actually find someone with whom I'll actually enjoy myself with."

Remus smirked as he saw Sirius eyes flick ever so quickly to Marlene and away again. He was pretty sure his mate didn't even realise he was doing it. "Well I had quite a nice day, thanks for asking," he said, grinning.

"Ugh!" Sirius dropped his head onto the table alongside James's. "Why did you feel the need to say that Moony?"

Remus just laughed as Marlene rolled her eyes and looked up in time to see Dorcas drop into the seat next to Remus, who stopped laughing to raise his eyebrows at her.

"What's this, depression corner?" Dorcas said, a little frostily.

"Remus was just telling us what a great day he's been having," Sirius groaned. "And James is drowning his sorrows at the bottom of a glass."

Dorcas raised an eyebrow, "I can see that," she muttered. She looked across the room at Lily and Bertram and pulled a face, "Christ, that's gross, no wonder Potter's feeling miserable."

Marlene shot her a look, "I think it's time to go back to school - have you seen Alice anywhere?"

Dorcas shook her head, "probably off somewhere snogging, I knew he liked her."

Marlene smiled slightly at that, happy for her friend. "Mary?" She asked, her expression dropping slightly but only enough for Dorcas to notice.

"Nope," Dorcas replied, popping the 'p' with her lips, "Don't really care either."

Sirius looked up, curious, "Whats with the vicious tone Meadowes?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

Dorcas turned a cool gaze on him, "We don't like the fact that she flirted with a marauder, Black."

Marlene shook her head, trying to hide her smile. She knew it wasn't the truth but it was fun seeing her best friend mock him.

Sirius's face looked disbelieving, "That's not true, Lena flirts with me all the time!"

"Shut up Sirius," James muttered into the table.

Marlene sighed and shot Sirius a dirty look. He just smirked and winked back at her. Shaking her head she grabbed James's shoulders, pulling him roughly upwards, "Come on Jamesie, we're taking you back to the castle." She motioned for James and Remus to take him and between them they managed to pull him to his feet. "We'll have to go back through Honeydukes Pads," Remus said as they started to drag a very drunk James from the pub and into the street outside where the light was starting to get dimmer. "The teachers can't see him like this."

"You've got a point," Sirius said, pulling James in the opposite direction. "See you back at the castle girls, guarantee we'll get there before you do!"

"Where the fuck are they going?" Dorcas frowned, staring at their retreating backs.

Marlene sighed and turned away, dragging Dorcas with her, "marauder secrets."

**A/N hope you enjoyed, if you're waiting for the next chapter, I have an (almost) complete story already; 'The Plan of Black'. It only needs one last chapter which I should probably start writing now come to think of it... Anyway, thanks for reading and hit that review button! #motivation :P**


	7. Chapter 7 - Insecurities

**A/N It's up! Get going and read it, not forgetting to drop me a review after ;)**

**Read and Review, you know how happy it makes me:) **

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

_"Summer comes, winter fades_

_Here we are just the same._

_Don't need pressure, don't need change_

_Lets notice the game away."_

_-Please Don't Say You Love Me, Gabrielle Aplin_

* * *

Chapter 7: Insecurities

Mary McDonald never meant to be a bitch. She always felt like an outsider when around Marlene, Lily and Dorcas. Alice was probably her best friend, mainly because she saw Mary's nicer side but Mary wished she could show it more often. She never could. Sometimes she could understand why Marlene and her didn't always see eye to eye - she had flaunted flirting with Black right in front of her and she knew Marlene hadn't liked it.

Mary was considering going to Marlene and apologising but she knew Marlene would hate that, she hated anything which implied that she didn't like Sirius Black's flirtatious ways with other girls. Perhaps it was better to just do something nice for the girl next time the opportunity arose. She was thinking all of this when she rounded the corner to see Sirius Black himself pinning a younger student against the wall with his wand, his face furious.

Mary blinked and stood, frozen to the spot behind him and Sirius didn't notice her. She recognised the younger one as Regulus, Sirius's younger brother who was looking at him through cold grey eyes. Mary had never seen them together it was almost a shock to see how similar they were; same black hair but Sirius's was longer, same grey eyes and high cheekbones. Same handsome faces although Sirius's was twisted in fury at that moment.

Mary stepped back and Sirius spun around, hearing her footsteps. "McDonald?" He asked, confused.

Regulus stepped away from the wall, straightening his robes and leaned towards Sirius, "Remember who you owe your loyalties to Sirius." Before he shot a disdainful look at Mary and strutted arrogantly down the corridor.

"Um, what was that?" Mary asked, raising an eyebrow at the handsome Gryffindor.

Sirius shook his head, still looking pissed off, "Little brother trying to recruit me."

"Recruit you?" Mary asked, incredulously.

Sirius sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking down, "Regulus always was easy to manipulate. I hate him for what he's done to his life."

Mary looked unsurely at him, not knowing quite what to do. "Sirius? Should I get James?" She swallowed as Sirius looked up at her, a painful look in his eyes. "What do you need me to -"

Sirius cut her off by striding over and pressing his lips to hers. It took a moment for Mary to realise what was happening but before she knew it she was kissing him back. In the back of her head, she knew Marlene wouldn't forgive her if she found out but Mary McDonald was a well known flirt and Sirius Black had a reputation. Mary had always been curious. So she kissed him as he pushed her roughly backwards towards a broom closet, not breaking contact and opening the door behind her so she practically fell through. He kicked the door shut after him and pressed Mary up against the wall, both of them breathing hard. She pulled his shirt up over his head and threw it to the floor, breaking away from the burning kiss and leaning her head back against the hard stone and gripping his back as he carried on kissing her neck, his hand travelling up her leg. Suddenly he froze and Mary looked down at him, confused.

Sirius stepped back, looking at her with a dazed expression. Then he blinked, looking as surprised as she felt and muttered, "I'm sorry. I just can't." Before grabbing his shirt from the floor and hurrying out of the cupboard at top speed, leaving Mary wondering what the hell had happened to cause the sudden change of mind. She didn't mind really, it was probably for the best.

* * *

Sirius Black shook his head, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Usually he would've jumped at the chance to shag someone as good looking as Mary McDonald but when it came down to it he couldn't do it, it had felt wrong. In his mind he kept seeing the blonde curly haired Marlene and it had made him stop. Why had it made him stop? He was Sirius Black and he'd never stopped in his life. You've never stopped running either, a voice in his head pointed out. He grimaced; that voice sounded like McKinnon's.

He leaned against the wall outside the common room, not quite ready to enter yet. The Fat Lady was staring at him curiously from her portrait.

"What?!" Sirius snapped at her.

"Only one reason for you to look like that," the Fat Lady said wisely, nodding her head. "A girl."

Sirius shook his head and told her the password, climbing through and into the common room. The moment he entered he wished he'd gone on a longer walk. Marlene was sitting in one of the comfy armchairs, chatting with James. Sirius sighed and walked over to them, sitting down on the sofa next to James and glaring at the floor.

Both Marlene and James looked over at him in surprise.

"What's up Padfoot?" James asked curiously.

Sirius just shook his head, "Nothing."

"So you don't want to tell us why you're burning a hold in the carpet?" Marlene inquired.

"No," Sirius said brusquely.

He knew the two others were exchanging looks but they left him to it, continuing their conversation about Quidditch while he carried on staring at the fire. He really didn't know what was wrong with him, or why he suddenly couldn't stand the sound of Marlene McKinnon's laughter when a month ago he wouldn't have cared less. Sirius breathed in a shuddering breath and looked up at them. James was chatting merrily but had a small frown creasing his brow and kept glancing at his best friend but Sirius was staring at Marlene and didn't notice him. She was wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, devoid of makeup and he could see the freckles that covered her nose. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun on top of her head and he could tell she was completely relaxed around him and James, not giving a care what they thought of her. Sirius liked it, she wasn't self-conscious and didn't feel the need to plaster her face every time she walked out the dormitory. He shook his head, what was he doing staring at McKinnon? She was probably the most annoying person he'd ever met and on top of that, James would murder him if he knew what Sirius was thinking. Sirius needed a distraction so he said bluntly, cutting over their conversation, "I had a fight with Regulus."

Marlene and James both turned to stare at him in shock, their previous conversation forgotten.

"What?" James said, his voice going high-pitched.

Marlene was staring at him, her blue eyes completely calm. "What happened?" She asked.

Sirius looked back down at the carpet, tearing his gaze away from hers. "He was trying to get me to change sides," he mumbled. He almost felt ashamed by this fact.

Marlene opened her mouth but James got there first, "WHAT?!"

Sirius shrugged, trying to brush it off, severely regretting his need for distractions.

Marlene turned to James and hissed, "James, for fucks sake, keep your voice down!"

James glanced around the room where a couple of people had looked over at his outburst. He turned back, saying quietly "Sorry Padfoot."

Sirius waved it off tiredly. He felt like an emotional wreck; confused, conflicted and tired. He hated it, it made him feel vulnerable.

"Sirius," Marlene said quietly, "What's wrong?"

Sirius let his head fall into his hands and tried to pull himself together. This was always how he felt after confrontations with his family; pathetic and useless. He jumped slightly as two smaller hands pulled his away from his face and Sirius found himself staring into Marlene McKinnon's deep blue eyes. He felt uncomfortable that he'd let her see him like this, but then, she'd seen him worse. If anything, Marlene knew what he was feeling better than most people because he'd let her see his vulnerable side after he'd left home. He'd let himself break down in her arms and tell her everything. He was angry that she was able to do that, strip down his defences until there was nothing for him to hide behind.

Sirius drew in a deep breath and stood up, looking down at her coldly. "You can't fix everything McKinnon, you're kidding yourself if you think you can."

He walked away from her then, leaving her staring after him and all the while hating himself for it.

* * *

"What the hell was that?" James snapped, entering the boys dormitory, feeling absolutely furious at his best friend.

Sirius was lying on his bed, staring up at the canopy above him with a vacant expression. "What was what Prongs?" He said in monotone.

"Marlene was trying to help you and you just brushed her off! Do you know how arrogant you can be sometimes, Sirius?" James snapped, looking down at Sirius. He couldn't believe how's rude his friend was sometimes. "You know she was the main reason you didn't completely snap over the summer!"

Sirius sat up abruptly, "I don't need McKinnon," he growled. "It's not my problem shes so annoying!"

James glared at him, "Was that what you were thinking when you tried to kiss her on the train?"

Sirius froze, "What?"

"Alice told me," James snapped, "Sirius, I'm telling you, Marlene is off limits - you'll only hurt her."

Sirius opened his mouth to speak but seemed to think better of it and closed it again.

James softened slightly and leant against the bedpost. "Mate, I just don't want her to get hurt. I don't want either of you to get hurt."

Sirius hesitated then nodded slowly, not meeting James's eyes.

James sighed and left him, he knew Sirius just wanted to be on his own.

He made his way back downstairs to where Marlene still sat. She glanced up at him when he sat down next to her.

"He's fine," James said. "He says he's sorry."

Marlene snorted disbelievingly, "Yeah, right."

"I don't know what came over him," James muttered to himself. In truth, Sirius's unpredictable mood swings sometimes worried him. He didn't always know what Sirius was going to do next and it had just gotten worse after he'd left home.

"I wonder why Regulus wanted him to join up," Marlene mused. "That doesn't sound very convincing, I thought they hated each other."

James sighed, "I don't know," he said. "I don't like it though."

Marlene snuggled up to him, resting her head on his shoulder, "Sirius will be alright - he's a dick, but he's strong."

James smiled, finding comfort in the way her hair tickled his chin, "I know."

Marlene had always been there for him and sometimes he felt she knew him better than he knew himself. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and sighed, "I don't know what I'd do without you, Marley," He whispered. "Not with Sirius like this..." He trailed off anxiously.

Marlene squeezed his arm gently, "He'll be alright. Just give him some time." She paused, "Are you alright? You've been a bit off ever since that Hogsmead trip."

James groaned and Marlene chuckled lightly. "Please don't remind me!" He grumbled. The hangover had been the worst bit, he barely got up all of Sunday and only appeared once to see Lily sitting with her boyfriend and had instantly turned and hurried away again.

"I wonder if she'll ever realise," Marlene mumbled. "Don't feel too let down Jay, I don't think Bert's quite her type."

"Well she's making it obvious her type isn't me," James complained.

Marlene laughed and ruffled his hair playfully, "I don't think you've ever been her type Jamesie."

"Thanks for the consolidation Mars," James replied sarcastically but he smiled sadly. And Marlene placed her head back onto his shoulder. Only to shoot upwards again as Lily Evans herself stumbled into the room, her face red and blotchy, her red hair a mess and tears streaming down her cheeks.

**A/N Well there's another one. I've already written the next chapter and it's ready for uploading but I require 5 reviews first, have a nice day, love you all x**


	8. Chapter 8 - Goodnight Kisses

**A/N Here you go, enjoy ;)**

**Read and Review, you know how happy it makes me:) **

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

_"Despair and deception, Love's ugly little twins_

_Came a-knocking at my door, I let them in._

_Darling you're the punishment, For all my former sins._

_I let love in."_

_\- I Let Love In, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds_

* * *

Chapter 8: Goodnight Kisses

"Lily! Lily it's alright, you're alright!" Marlene soothed over and over again but Lily was inconsolable. She clung to Marlene's shirt and cried. Marlene was still fully aware of James still sat, frozen in his seat, staring at Lily with large frightened eyes. Marlene herself was a little freaked _out,_ she'd never seen Lily like this in her life.

Over her friend's shoulder she saw Sirius walking back down the stairs towards them. His grey eyes took in the scene in front of him and he spun towards the last group of people who still sat in the common room which were a bunch of third years who were staring at Lily like she was mad. "Alright!" Sirius snapped at them and they turned to him, a little scared. "There's nothing to see here," Sirius said, scowling at them, "Clear off!"

They grabbed their bags and hastened to do just that.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, walking over with wide eyes.

James shrugged and looked at Marlene who stroked Lily's hair and led her to a sofa where she sat them both down.

Lily seemed in too much of a mess to realise that she was sitting with James and Sirius who were both staring at her with almost frightened expressions. She hiccuped and gasped out, "Bert left me!"

Marlene made a soothing noise and grabbed Lily's hands, "Oh Lils, what happened?"

"He-he wanted to.." Lily choked and couldn't finish her sentence but her pained expression said it all.

Marlene could feel her blood start to boil and she struggled to stay calm. "You didn't?" She'd been in the same position as Lily with her very first relationship. She'd been thirteen and her boyfriend had kept bugging her for sex. When it became clear that Marlene was not going to give it to him, he'd ditched her. James and Sirius had hexed him when they'd found out. He'd gone around school for a whole week hearing voices until Marlene had begged them to take the curse off him, which they'd done reluctantly.

Lily shook her head, "He said I was a frigid good-for-nothing, and - and that he only dated me because he wanted to get in my knickers." Here, she started sobbing again and Marlene wrapped her up in her arms. "He's a dick Lils, and not worth your time," she ground out through gritted teeth. Marlene felt furious but she bottled it for Lily's sake. "Come on," she said quietly, "Let's go and run you a hot shower." She pulled Lily upwards and headed off towards the girls dorms. Right at the last moment she turned around to see James and Sirius head towards the portrait hole. "Where are you two going?" She called after them.

"We'll be back in a bit!" James yelled back, "Just got a little job to see to!" Him and Sirius exchanged glances then continued out of the common room.

Marlene would have gone after them if it hadn't been for Lily who was leaning heavily against her so she carried on pulling her best friend up the stairs. When she entered their dormitory, Dorcas, Alice and Mary were all already there. They spotted Lily and each of them jumped up in shock but Marlene shook her head frantically, leading Lily towards the shower. She'd get Lily in the bathroom before she told the rest of the girls what had happened.

Once in the bathroom, Marlene helped a still crying Lily remove her dress then she pushed Lily's hair away from her face. "Lils, if you only ever remember one thing I tell you, please let it be this. You are amazing, no crappy boyfriend will ever make you doubt that, you understand?"

Lily nodded under Marlene's stern gaze.

"Alright," Marlene said and opened the door to leave, turning back and saying softly, "You'll find someone worth your affections Lils, I promise."

Lily nodded and said softly, "Love you Marls."

Marlene smiled, "I love you too Lily, don't forget it."

* * *

"Remind me again, what are we doing?" Sirius whispered to James as the waited outside the Ravenclaw tower, hidden behind a tapestry.

"Waiting for Aubrey," James growled under his breath.

Sirius sighed and flopped back against the wall. "Why?" He asked, "She doesn't even like you."

James glared at him, "Fuck off Padfoot, that doesn't matter. It's about morals."

Sirius sighed again, "Look, Prongs, I got it when it was McKinnon but Evans will probably murder you herself if she finds out."

"I don't care about that Padfoot," James said blankly, keeping his eyes fixed on the gap in the tapestry. "She came through like that, I've never seen Evans break down before have you?"

Sirius didn't reply. In truth, the sight of Lily Evans in complete hysterics had disturbed him as well. He'd only gone back downstairs to apologise for snapping at Marlene but had found himself dragged into a hurricane of emotional drama. But really, Lily Evans had always seemed so strong to him and while he often found himself feeling not kind towards her because of how she treated James, he respected her for that strength. It had all been stripped away though and in those few moments, Sirius had seen Lily in a new light and it scared him how weak she appeared.

"I couldn't do anything Pads, I just froze," James looked stricken with guilt. "I let Marlene deal with it all - fuck, I couldn't even get rid of those kids like you did when you came down!"

"I don't think you could've done anything mate," Sirius said seriously. "Marlene looked like she was dealing with it well enough, if either one of us got involved I think it would have probably just made it worse."

James nodded but Sirius could tell he still felt bad, he wanted to cheer his friend up a bit so he said, jokingly "You know they call Evans, Meadowes and McKinnon the 'Golden Girls'?"

James's lips slowly started to pull up a little, "the golden girls?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

Sirius nodded then frowned, "I think they include Prewett and McDonald in that as well but those three are the main three."

"Well I suppose it makes sense," James mused, "They are the best looking Gryffindor girls after all..." He smirked to himself.

Sirius nodded, thinking about blonde curls and freckles but then shook himself mentally again. Seriously he needed to stop doing that, he'd told James he'd stay away from Marlene. He wasn't allowed to think of her like that.

"Sirius," James said tiredly from his spot. He was looking at him right in the eye now in a stern but kind way, "I'm sorry if I was cross earlier and...and I'm sorry if I came across as harsh telling you Marlene's off limits." He sighed again and shrugged. "It's just sometimes it's really difficult to be around you both at the same time and you, well, you'd ruin her. She's not as tough as she wants you to think."

Sirius shrugged, pretending it didn't bother him, "Don't worry Prongs, I'll behave myself. She's obviously not interested like that anyway."

James continued to watch him for a moment longer then turned to glance out of their hiding place. "That's him!" He hissed. "Come on, let's go!"

Sirius let out a breath and followed his best friend. He decided right there that he wasn't prepared to compromise his friendship with James to go after a girl who really wasn't interested anyway. Little did he know how difficult it will be to keep that promise in the coming months.

* * *

Marlene waited in the common room for James and Sirius to come back but the later and later it got and there was still no sign of them. Marlene was beginning to wonder if they'd gotten trapped in a hidden corridor somewhere and debating going to bed but the portrait hole opened and the two offending marauders stepped through.

Marlene stood up, a frown plastered on her face, "Where the fuck have you two been?" She snapped.

They both looked up instantly with almost guilty expressions. Sirius was the first to speak, a cheeky grin on his face, "Frowning really doesn't suit you Lena -"

"Oh please be quiet Black!" Marlene snapped back, her expression unchanged. He couldn't seem to resist winding her up. "Where did you go?"

Sirius looked at James and James shrugged half-heartedly, "Ravenclaw Tower," he muttered.

Marlene had guessed this was the case but it didn't stop her from being pissed off. She flopped down onto the sofa and glared at the fire, "Lily is going to kill you. I suppose it's a mercy you didn't get caught, she might not find out...oh." Marlene looked up between James and Sirius, her face dropping. "You fucking idiots."

"It was just bad luck he had a group of prefects with him!" James protested. "And we didn't see Flitwick coming the other way.." He trailed off as he caught sight of Marlene's death glare.

"Oh don't worry Lena," Sirius said, walking over and throwing himself down next to her, grinning. "We've only got like, three weeks worth detentions."

"I wondered why you were taking so long," Marlene muttered darkly. "What did you do to him?"

"Only caused his head to swell three times its size." Sirius replied and Marlene's lip twitched.

James yawned, "Well, if you're not too angry Marley, I'm going to bed." He looked over at Sirius who, to his great annoyance was looking at Marlene and didn't see him. "Sirius?"

Sirius glanced his way and waved, "Yeah, I'll be right up."

Marlene glanced at Sirius curiously as James shrugged and walked away towards the boys staircase. She yawned too and got to her feet, stretching. "Well I think I'm going to head to bed as well," she said and turned towards the girls dormitory.

"Marlene, wait!" Sirius said, reaching out and grabbing her wrist.

Marlene turned back to face him, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

Sirius looked slightly embarrassed but said, "I just want to say sorry for snapping at you earlier, it was out of order."

Marlene stared at him in shock. Sirius Black was apologising to her? Was this really happening or was it some weird dream?

He grinned slightly sheepishly, "Jeez Lena, don't look so forgiving."

Marlene opened her mouth to tell him not to call her that but stopped and shook her head, "It's fine," she said, smiling a little. "What do you want?" She added jokingly.

Sirius smirked, "A goodnight kiss might be nice."

Something in the way he said it sent a shiver down Marlene's spine. A part of her knew he was joking and yet at the same time, she looked into his eyes and saw longing there. Longing for what, she had no idea but for the first time in her life, Marlene decided to humour him. She bent down over the sofa and pressed her lips to his in a brief kiss that lasted a second before she pulled away again. Sirius was staring at her in complete and utter shocked silence.

Marlene laughed at his speechlessness and spun around, walking away. "Goodnight Black," she said over her shoulder before climbing the stairs up to her bed. She knew she wouldn't tell her friends about that and she hoped to God Sirius had more sense than to tell James.

**A/N Just to say that the sequel to the Plan of Black is up! It's called Flight of a Phoenix so have fun :) love you all x**


	9. Chapter 9 - The Calm Before a Storm

**A/N Here you go, enjoy ;)**

**Read and Review, you know how happy it makes me:) **

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 9: The Calm Before a Storm

_"When I go don't cry for me,  
_

_In my father's arms I'll be._

_The wounds this world left on my soul, _

_All be healed and I'll be whole."_

_\- All My Tears, Ane Brun_

* * *

James spooned a large amount of breakfast into his mouth while he listened to Sirius go over the details of their latest prank. He was only half listening, he had one eye looking over Remus's shoulder at that morning's daily prophet. Remus shook it open and James recoiled slightly as he caught the headline: 'Death Eater attack. 10 Muggles killed in fire. Dark Mark shines again.'

Remus shivered slightly and put down the paper, turning around to catch James's eye. A look of understanding passed between them and James sighed, it was depressing; all these people were dying while he ate cornflakes, went to class and lived his life. He tried to focus on Sirius who didn't seem to have noticed the sudden miserable vibes at their end of the table, and just carried on explaining his plan to ambush Snape after lunch to Peter who was nodding excitedly.

James was about to look up and tell him to give it a rest but a light tap on the shoulder stopped him. Turning around in his seat, James's mouth dropped open at the sight of Lily Evans standing behind him looking slightly nervous. Never before had she ever sought him out to talk to him and James didn't have a clue what to say except, "Yes?"

Lily shifted nervously and avoided his eyes, "I just found out Potter, that it was you who hexed Bert?"

James swallowed noisily, "Urm, yeah that was me." He cringed, waiting for the shouting to start but it never came.

"Well, I know it was weeks ago but I just wanted to say thanks for not going round school gossiping about the details of our breakup."

James froze, "What?" He said bluntly, not quite believing his ears.

Lily sighed and scowled at him slightly, "Thank you, Potter."

James didn't know what to say, he just nodded and looked down the table towards Marlene who was staring at their interaction with bemusement.

Lily cleared her throat and said stiffly, "Well, that's all I suppose." Suddenly her expression changed and she looked down at him with the edges of her lips curving slightly upwards rather than down in disapproval. "Next time you do something stupid like that I'd advise you not to get caught Potter." And with that she turned and walked back towards her friends.

James blew out a breath and spun around again, "Well that was unexpected."

"Unexpected?" Sirius asked incredulously, his eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline. "Prongs, I thought she was going to hex your balls off!"

James snorted, "Always have faith in my charms, don't you Paddy?"

"Prongs," Sirius said, placing a hand over his heart and sighing dramatically, "Of course I do, it's just that I don't always think Evans is entirely human - she's managed to resist both me and you!"

James scoffed at his friend's typical reaction and felt himself zoning out a little, gazing up the table towards where Lily sat.

Marlene glanced down at him and saw him staring, she nudged Dorcas who was sitting next to her and the two of them smirked at each other, getting up and dragging Lily with them to their first lesson.

* * *

The day was going much slower than Marlene wanted it to, it seemed like she'd been sitting in this lesson for hours listening to Professor Minestra the Astronomy teacher drone on, pointing to different charts on the wall. Suddenly, a note dropped onto her desk causing Marlene to jump slightly. Unfolding it, she looked at the words written in the neat, curvy handwriting that she knew was Mary's: 'Can we talk?'

Marlene glanced at the blonde witch sitting along from her. Frowning in confusion Marlene grabbed her quill and scribbled down 'What about?' She only had to wait a moment before another bit of paper landed in front of her. 'Can't tell you now. Meet me in Carters tomorrow at 10?'

Marlene frowned. It was the next Hogsmead trip tomorrow and Carters was a tiny little pub that the marauders had found years ago. Marlene had dragged her friends there once but Lily had sworn she was never going back, after their trip got crashed by James and Sirius. She had no idea what Mary wanted to talk to her about but she decided to go anyway. She had Quidditch practice tomorrow before Hogsmead but that meant it would be easier for her to go to Carters without Lily and Dorcas. Marlene looked over at Mary and nodded, receiving a grateful smile in reply.

Saturday morning dawned bright and cold. The November sunshine drifted through the curtain and into the girls dorm as Marlene tiptoed around the room getting ready. She grabbed her broom and left the room, making her way down to the common room. Sirius and James were both down there waiting for her impatiently. "Jeeze Lena, how long does it take for you to get up?" Sirius teased as soon as she joined them.

Marlene scowled at him, already he was annoying her. "Actually Black, unlike you I never feel the need to spend hours in front of the mirror for something like Quidditch practice," she snapped at him irritably.

"Marlene," Sirius chuckled, shaking his head at her, "I don't have to make the effort to look this good, it comes naturally."

"Oh shut up Padfoot," James scoffed, following Marlene out of the portrait hole. "Be nice, please."

Sirius sighed, "Fine, but not for her sake." He shot a dark look at Marlene's retreating back, while managing to appreciate the fact that she had a nice ass at the same time. Remembering his promise to James, he squashed that thought and followed the other two down towards the Entrance Hall.

Quidditch Practice was uncomfortable if not really horrible. Marlene and Sirius were snapping with each other the whole way through and several times James had to check Sirius before his friend said something he'd regret. He didn't have any idea why they were so on edge with each other but he didn't question it as it was constantly in flux, but by the time Gideon blew the final whistle and called it a day, James was sick to death of the pair of them. Marlene landed on the ground first and instantly stalked into the changing rooms in a huff and James hurried after her as soon as his feet hit the earth, finding her yanking a jumper over her head, her blonde curly hair which had been tied back in a ponytail was coming down and she looked flushed and angry.

"Mar -"

"I don't want to talk about Sirius," Marlene cut him off abruptly. "I don't give two shits what he thinks about me most of the time but it pisses me off that he thinks he can just talk to me like that."

"He doesn't mean it," James tried to say lamely, but he knew it was no use. Marlene and Sirius fought often but James knew deep down they cared about each other. They'd know each other since they were eight and Marlene was actually the person who had introduced Sirius to James in the first place. He hated it when they argued but it just seemed to come with the package.

Marlene just scoffed and grabbed her things, legging it out of the room as Sirius walked in, shoving past him roughly. Sirius turned and shot out of the door after her, "Real mature McKinnon!"

James groaned and let his head drop into his hands.

"Well that was a shit practice." Gideon said matter-of-factly, striding into the changing rooms behind Sirius. "I need to get out of here and go to Hogsmead."

James groaned, he agreed with him whole heartedly but him and Sirius had to go and serve their final detention for that hex they'd pulled on Bertram Aubrey with Flitwick. Sighing he grabbed his stuff, walking past Sirius muttering "See you in a bit," and made his way back up to the castle, trying to ignore the happy chatter of the people milling around in the entranceway, preparing for their trip. This was going to be an extremely boring day. He couldn't have been more mistaken.

* * *

Marlene waited for Mary to arrive in Carters. She sat in the table nearest the back and sipped on her drink thoughtfully, letting herself cool down after practice. It seemed that every time her thoughts turned to Sirius Black, her blood would start to boil in rage. Normally it wouldn't affect her the way it was doing now, but she was suddenly sick to death of his attitude.

"Hey," Mary said, dropping down into the seat opposite her.

Marlene looked up and smiled at her. Her and Mary weren't especially close friends but they'd used to be. Marlene just didn't like some of the things Mary did and that had driven them apart until Marlene barely spoke to her. "Hey," she said quietly.

"You alright Mars, you look a bit flustered."

Marlene sighed heavily, she knew Mary was just concerned but she didn't want to talk about it. "I'm fine, practice was just a bit...stressful."

Mary nodded and ordered a coffee.

Marlene suddenly smirked, "You still drinking coffee in the middle of the day?"

Suddenly the tension between them broke and Mary grinned, "Of course, it's my energy."

Marlene rolled her eyes and laughed. "So, what did you require my upmost attention for?"

Mary's face fell a little, "I just wanted to apologise y'know, for being a bit of a bitch towards you all."

Smiling, Marlene leaned across the table and took Mary's hands in hers, "Don't be sorry Mare, we all love you you know that right?"

"Yeah, I just want us all to be friends again, like it used to be before all the boy bullshit." Mary shrugged and squeezed Marlene's hands.

"All you have to do is start hanging with us again, no body will mind - in fact Alice will be more than overjoyed. She's missed you, I think we all have."

Mary laughed lightly, "Good because I've missed you all t-"

She broke off with a loud scream as the windows of the small pub were blown inwards, knocking both of them to the floor.

Marlene's vision and senses started to come back to her, groaning she shifted a bit and then she heard the screaming coming from the street outside, or was she outside? She could see the sky above her and knew that most of the roof had been blown off along with the entire front wall of the building.

"Who's this?" A voice said loudly.

"Half blood," another gruff voice said.

Marlene turned her head to see who was speaking but all she could make out were black figures.

"This?" One of the figures nudged the person nearest Marlene and she saw with horror, blonde hair and knew it was Mary.

"That's McDonald. She's a mudblood."

Marlene tried to get up but something was pressing down on her, "Mary!" She cried.

"Marlene?" The voice near her said weakly, "Please!"

There was a silence from the black clad figures. "Kill the mudblood, bring that one with us."

Marlene struggled to reach her wand but she couldn't move. "Mary!" She screamed and tried to fling her arm out so she could touch her friend.

Mary's sobs were cut off violently as a streak of brilliant green light lit them up. Marlene let out a scream of fear and anger before her world too, went black.

* * *

Lily and Dorcas were sitting in the common room with Alice when McGonagall found them. They'd spent the morning in Hogsmead together before going home early. They exchanged frightened glances when the Transfiguration teacher told them all to come with her in a grave voice. Silently they followed her towards the part of the castle that none of them had ever been in. When they got to the large Griffins, Dorcas seemed to realise where they were going.

"Professor -"

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait until you see the headmaster Miss Meadowes, it's not for me to tell you." McGonagall said and there was a look in her eyes that Dorcas had never seen there before. Pity maybe. Whatever it was, Dorcas was starting to get scared.

They entered the room and all three girls stopped dead at the sight in front of them. Marlene's father was there, along with her older brother Jon, and two people Dorcas recognised as Mr and Mrs Potter. Also, James Potter and Sirius Black. They were both a picture and that, more than anything scared Dorcas. James was sitting with his face as white as a sheet while Sirius was pacing up and down muttering things under his breath and looking more freaked than she'd ever seen him. Both boys looked up when the girls walked in but neither of them said anything.

"What's going on Professor?" Lily spoke first, addressing the headmaster.

"There was an attack," Sirius spat out harshly before Dumbledore could even open his mouth to speak. He looked beyond furious. "Marlene's missing."

Dorcas felt the blood leave her body. It wasn't like it drained away but it just disappeared. She felt numb, like it was just a bad dream and she'd wake up in the morning, right now she'd wake up and Marlene would be safe in her own bed.

"What about Mary?" Alice croaked and Dorcas realised with a pang of despair that her other friend had been meeting up with Marlene for tea. Dread started to fill her veins where her blood had once been.

"Please, take as seat ladies," Dumbledore said gently, "There is not easy way to say this..."

And with that sentence Dorcas knew Mary was dead, that Marlene probably was as well. This was not happening to her.

Alice and Lily were both crying, silent tears leaking down their cheeks but Dorcas didn't cry. Dorcas Meadowes never cried. She found, for the first time in her life, that she was on the same page as Potter and Black. She was a mixture of raging fury and desolate despair, the same as them. Dorcas found she didn't want to hear anymore, not Dumbledore's assurances that every measure possible was being taken to ensure Marlene's return, not any of it. She needed to get out. She needed to scream and hit something.

Next to her, Alice was shaking and Dorcas wrapped an arm tightly around her friend, letting her face crumple for a moment.

"You better you find her," Dorcas whispered over the top of her head, looking at the adults.

"We will try," Dumbledore said gently but making no promises.

Sirius let out a frustrated growl and walked out the room at that, James jumping up and following him, sending an apologetic look towards his parents.

Dorcas squeezed Alice and kissed her temple, trying to comfort her friend as much as she could find it in her heavy heart to do so. Alice turned and sobbed into her shoulder and Dorcas knew they needed to go and find Frank as soon as possible. He would know what to do and how to look after her. She grabbed Lily's hand and led them both from the office, not looking back once to where the adults sat with mixtures of pity and worry ranging from face to face.

They didn't have to go far to find Frank, he found them. With one look at his tiny girlfriend, Frank grabbed her off Dorcas and wrapped her up in his arms. Although they had only been going out for a month, Dorcas could see how well they fitted together.

"Mary's d-dead!" Alice mumbled into his shoulder, shaking from the effort to stop crying.

"I know," Frank said, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head.

Dorcas put a hand on his arm and he looked up at her, "How did you know that?" She asked quietly.

Frank smiled sadly, "I bumped into James and Sirius. They looked a mess, and they told me to come and find you, told me what had happened." He turned and led the way back towards the common room, "You know, for all their dickish behaviour, they are pretty decent guys."

Dorcas took that with a pinch of salt and led Lily towards their common room.

"Marlene...she's alive," Lily whispered quietly before they entered the tower. She had stopped crying and was now looking long and hard at Dorcas who swallowed. "She has to be alive, they wouldn't have taken her otherwise."

"I know Lils."

It's what they would do to her now that worried Dorcas.


	10. Chapter 10 - The Corner

**A/N Im going to be mean and say 5 REVIEWS BEFORED THE NEXT CHAPTER! It's been a little disappointing on that count for all of my stories, not just this one:( make me happy guys!**

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 9: The Corner

_"I might be wrong_

_I might be wrong._

_I could've sworn I saw a light coming on._

_I used to think,_

_I used to think_

_There is no future left at all."_

_\- I Might Be Wrong, Radiohead_

* * *

Sirius knew it was to be expected. Dorcas and Lily would naturally feel the need to spend more time with the marauders but it was weird, and it felt wrong. To have the two girls hanging around them so much in the evenings and not seeing Marlene sitting with them, laughing, teasing James, picking a fight with Sirius... There was an emptiness about them all that seemed to be difficult to fill. Sirius didn't even realise he'd noticed things about Marlene until she wasn't there any more; like how she used to play with the ends of her hair when she was talking, or how she always stuck her tongue out a tiny bit when she was concentrating hard on writing an essay. Sirius didn't recall ever noticing these things before, but now she wasn't around he was remembering them clearly and missing her all the more. He tried to fill the hole by spending nights out with other girls, trying to forget about her for a moment, but it never worked. Marlene was still always there in the back of his mind, so in the end, Sirius gave up and just stayed in the common room with his friends.

The most painful thing was that he had no idea where she was or if she was even still alive, Sirius tried to be hopeful but the hope made it hurt more whenever doubt came crawling back in. He could never be like James, who was fully confident that Marlene was alive and that they'd find her soon. At least, he was confident on the outside.

Sirius was lying on the sofa watching Remus and Peter play chess half heartedly, his mind wandering in and out of drowsy sleep. He'd been having trouble sleeping since Marlene had been taken three days ago, he seemed to be subconsciously re-living the torture his family had put him through before he'd run away. Even thinking about that didn't distract him from her, he hadn't forgotten that it had been Marlene who had helped him get his shit together afterwards, not just for himself but for his friends. Despite everything, Marlene McKinnon seemed to have crept up on him and that fact scared him completely. Sirius knew that it meant that it would hurt all the more if they found out she was dead. And if she was, it would haunt him for the rest of his life that the last time he'd seen her they'd argued, the last words he'd said to her had been in annoyance when it wasn't her fault. It had never been her fault.

"Pads!" A voice broke through the fog that was clouding Sirius's head. "Padfoot!"

Sirius sat straight upwards as James came through the portrait hole looking like he'd just sprinted all the way. He looked windswept, his face flushed from running and he was clutching a piece of parchment in his hands. "They've found her!" James gasped as he bent over to regain his breath.

"Where?" Sirius shot up out of his seat, instantly awake again. "Have they got her out?"

James shook his head, "mum and dad are in Dumbledore's office right now. They're going in."

They looked at each other steadily and Sirius nodded, grabbing his wand from the sofa, "Let's go."

"Um, where are you going?" A voice said and Sirius turned, completely forgetting Dorcas and Lily. The two girls were standing shoulder to shoulder and fixing Sirius and James with icy glares.

"Dumbledore's office," James started. "You can't -"

"Oi," Dorcas snapped. "I've known Marlene for just as long as Black here, I'm coming with you!"

Sirius glanced at James for confirmation. He knew what James was planning to do and Sirius was going to follow him whatever happened but they needed to make sure that the girls knew exactly what they could be getting themselves into if they followed them. "We're going to rescue her," he said calmly.

Lily turned her cool green eyes in him and narrowed them sceptically. "We know."

Remus had stood up at Sirius's words and walked over to them, stopping behind James. Sirius knew he was showing them silent support and he couldn't be more grateful for his friends as Peter, with just a moment of hesitation, did the same.

Dorcas crossed her arms, "I didn't expect any less. It's said that the marauders would die for each other and I've always just assumed Marlene was an unofficial member or something."

James allowed himself a small grin at that. "She'd love it if she heard that," he said, nodding to them then turning and racing out of the portrait hole, Sirius and the others following him.

Sirius should've been thinking about why he was risking his life for a girl, especially one he rarely to got on with without arguing and whom always seemed to think he was a massive douche, but Sirius didn't even question it. He just ran with James towards the headmasters office without thinking of the dangers that could await him. All he could think about was curly blonde hair, large blue eyes and infectious laughter.

* * *

Mrs Potter was looking at her two boys desperately. Dorcas could tell they were breaking her heart by doing this but she knew there was no option of James and Sirius not going. If they said no, there was no doubt they'd find a way. That didn't mean she wasn't going to put up some sort of fight.

"You can't let them Albus," she said, turning to her husband and the headmaster. "They're not even of age yet!"

Mr Potter put a gently hand in his wife's shoulder. He was looking at James's stubborn face with a resigned expression. "We can't stop him, love. If they find another way, they're more likely to end up getting themselves killed." He paused and looked towards the rest of them, "besides," he said softly, almost sadly. "Its their war as much as ours."

Eva Potter turned to look at all of them, her sharp eyes seeking out her sons in particular. "You will do exactly what Moody and Harold tell you," she told them sternly. "I don't agree with this but your father is right, stay behind the lines and keep out of trouble."

"Yes mum," both James and Sirius muttered grudgingly.

Dorcas looked up at Sirius addressing Mrs Potter as 'mum' and she felt Lily's spark of curiosity next to her but neither of them said anything. She decided to ask Marlene about it if they got her out.

"So we're going now then?" Moody asked grumpily from behind Dumbledore.

Dorcas swallowed and beside her, Lily caught her hand and held it tightly. "You okay Dor?" She whispered.

Dorcas nodded. She could feel the nerves building in her chest but she wasn't exactly scared, just full of nerves. She suddenly wasn't so sure they were doing the right thing. What if they got there and found Marlene's body? She didn't know if she could handle seeing that. But then, there was a chance her best friend was still alive and Dorcas would be damned if she backed out from the rescue mission now.

"Ready?" Harold Potter asked. He was holding out his hand in front of them, waiting for them to take it. "Stay away from the main fight and keep out of trouble."

Dorcas saw Sirius and James look at each other then the rest of them. They nodded and reached for the older man's hand.

* * *

They landed in a wooded area. The floor was covered in a light snow and it was just beginning to fall dark. There were several other Aurors waiting there for them and as soon as they arrived, Harold Potter turned to face them, away from Dorcas and the others.

"Just over there is where we think they're keeping Marlene. Elphias, you go with Alastor and Jon; Caradoc and Sturgis, you two enter around the back and flush out any Death Eaters." He turned to his wife. "You and me will come in at them from the side and make sure none of them take her away with them."

"What about us?" Sirius asked through gritted teeth.

"Stay here and wait for us."

That caused a few furious looks shot in Harold's direction but he ignored them.

"You know Harold, they might as well help." Jon McKinnon said, glancing at them. Marlene's brother looked worn and tired, but determined. Dorcas could tell he hadn't had a lot of sleep these past nights.

"What do you think?" Harold asked, turning to him.

Jon shrugged, "if they've made the effort to come this far, I doubt they'd hesitate to run headfirst into that battle. Now I don't know know all of them personally but I know those two -" he pointed at Sirius and James. "And those two." He gestured to Dorcas and Lily then . "I know they would stop at nothing to protect Marls. I think they should come with me and Alastor. That way they're protected by the numbers AND we'll be stronger."

Harold paused and Eva put a hand on his arm, "You can't be considering it!" She snapped at her husband.

"He's right though," Harold said and Dorcas saw James look up at his father in surprise.

"They are kids!"

"They can fight," Harold said. "We've taken it upon ourselves to train James since he was thirteen and Merlin knows, Sirius knows a thing or two. They're sixteen, they're not children anymore." He looked at them and Dorcas knew in that moment that this man was wise beyond even his years. It pained him to say this but he knew it was for the best. He cared about his family and with a pang of sadness, Dorcas wished she'd had a father like him, a family like the Potter's. She gritted her teeth, Marlene and Lily were her family and she needed to help get Marlene out.

"Excuse me Mr Potter," Lily spoke up suddenly.

Both the Potters turned to face her and Lily cleared her throat. "Well it's just that, we've come this far and Marlene means more to us than she does to any of you Aurors. She's my best friend, she's James's sister and I know that neither one of us would stay here while you go in there without us."

James looked totally shocked that Lily would stand up next to him like that but he covered his surprise and stood straighter. "Lily's right mum," he said quietly. "Marlene is my sister, this isn't just your fight."

Both Harold and Eva Potter looked curiously at Lily who didn't flinch under their stares.

"So you're Lily Evans?" Eva asked.

Lily looked taken aback but nodded. Dorcas however saw James shuffle his feet slightly in embarrassment and had to fight off a laugh. This wasn't the time or place.

"Alright," Eva said quietly, turning to Moody. "They're under your protection Alastor."

* * *

Shouting could be heard from where James and the others were crouched, hiding until it was their turn to move in. It was their job to search for Marlene while the adults took care of the Death Eaters. James was perfectly happy with this arrangement, he knew it pained his mother to think of him fighting but all he really wanted to do was find Marlene and get her and his friends to safety. Unfortunately, fighting was probably going to come hand in hand with that.

Moody had given them a signal to look out for and as they watched, lights shot into the sky.

"Right," James said, turning to them. "Pads, you and Meadowes will go left, me and Pete will go right. Moony, you can cover us with Lily -"

Lily opened her mouth but James interrupted her. "Evans, we need the strongest fighters to watch our backs. You got me?"

Lily nodded and her and Remus concealed themselves, waiting for any stray Death Eaters that hadn't been taken out already by the Aurors.

James nodded at Sirius who turned and raced down the left corridor with Dorcas hot on his heels. James grimaced as he wondered whether it was the last time he'd see his best friend.

Just as he was about to run off in the other direction a voice calling his name made him stop. He turned to face Lily who looked as stunned as he felt that she'd called out his name.

"Yes Evans?" James asked, eyebrows raised.

Lily paused, "find her, and get her back...and good luck."

James swallowed in surprise then allowed himself a small half-smile. "You too Evans." With one nod at Remus who returned the gesture briefly, James turned and ran after Peter who was already looking into the first of many rooms that Marlene could be lying in.

* * *

"Why are you here Black?" Dorcas asked quietly as they tiptoed along the quiet hallway. "I understand Potter, but your almost as frantic as he is." They had moved away from the shouts of battle and had found themselves in a darker, more dirtier part of the place.

"I've know her for longer than you have." Sirius shot back defensively.

Dorcas shrugged, "I know but you've never really got on with her have you?"

Sirius didn't look at her, just carried on opening doors and looking over them before moving onto the next.

The penny dropped in Dorcas's mind and suddenly it was so obvious. So much that she wondered at never seeing it before. "You like her don't you?"

Sirius turned and looked derisively at her. "Please, Meadowes. If you're going to jump to conclusions, jump to better ones than that."

But Dorcas wasn't convinced, she'd seen the look of panic flit across his face at her words. He was good at hiding his emotions she had to give him that, but she was familiar with the skill herself and she could see straight through the façade.

"If you say so," she mumbled, opening a door and looking inside. All thoughts immediately left her mind at the sight in front of her.

Marlene was lying on the floor in the middle of the room, her face covered in blood, her eyes closed and one leg bent at a weird angle. Dorcas gasped as she felt rather than saw Sirius move past her quickly. All Dorcas could see was the blood and Marlene's pale face.

Sirius was kneeling next to her, brushing hair out of her face and feeling for a pulse - anything to show that she was still alive.

"No no no no," he muttered. "Don't you dare be dead McKinnon."

And she moved.

Dorcas felt the life come back into her feet and she fell down next to Sirius as Marlene opened her swollen eyes, just enough to take them in.

"Lena? Talk to me Marlene!" Sirius sounded desperate.

"Marlene?" Dorcas whispered, putting a light hand in her friend's forehead.

Marlene's eyes shifted from Dorcas to Sirius and she shook her head, "You aren't real." She tried to move away from them but her leg prevented that.

"We're here Mar," Dorcas whispered. "It's okay, you'll be o-kay." Her voice caught on the last word but she held it together.

Sirius looked like he was struggling to keep a calm face as Marlene reached up slowly and touched Dorcas's face, making sure she was real.

"Hey Dorky," Marlene made am attempt at at smile. Her eyes shifted to Sirius who visibly pulled himself together.

"I'm going to pick you up now, Lena." He whispered, shifting his weight. "I don't know if this will hurt or not."

"Sirius," Dorcas said, grabbing his arm. "I don't think we should move her."

Sirius shook his head, "Look at her," he said. "We need to get her out and back to Madam Pomfrey as soon as we can."

"Don't worry Dorky," Marlene muttered, pushing herself up. "Sirius will look after me."

Sirius picked her up bridal style and stood up straighter. "Still as light as a feather, Lena," he muttered to her.

Marlene wrapped an arm around his neck and gritted her teeth against a wave of pain. When it passed, she smiled tiredly at Dorcas and laid her head against Sirius's shoulder, closing her eyes.

Dorcas hesitated before following Sirius back the way they'd come. It surprised her at how obviously Marlene trusted Black to keep her safe. She'd never given Dorcas the impression that she liked him, let alone would let him carry her to safety. Dorcas shook her head, whatever it was, it was necessary at the time and could be addressed later. Right now, they needed to get Marlene back to Hogwarts.

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews, don't leave it to other people - it doesn't work like that!**


	11. Chapter 11 - Salvation Lies in Secrets

**A/N Im going to continue to be mean and say 5 REVIEWS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER! I am grateful to the people who reviewed last time, it made me write this chapter.. Keep it up guys! **

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End**

Chapter 11: Salvation Lies in Secrets

_"I can see it all tonight, underneath the perfect sky,  
_

_While the universe revolves around the pupil of an eye._

_And infinities stretch out from infinities within,_

_I'm a part of everything, I'm a part of everything."_

_\- Dragonfly, M Craft._

* * *

"How long has he been sitting there?" Dorcas asked Lily as they waited outside the hospital wing. "It must have been what? All night?"

Lily nodded, a small smile creeping over her face as she peeked through the double doors which led to the hospital wing. "Yeah, all night..."

Dorcas sighed heavily. "Seriously, the poor bloke has it bad for Marls, you should've seen him Lil, he was pretty frantic when we found her."

Lily smiled, "I think it's romantic."

"Course you would," Dorcas grumbled. "Never thought I'd see the day when Sirius Black falls hard."

"Me neither, andd I never thought it would be for Marlene," Lily's face dropped slightly as she looked at something over Dorcas's shoulder.

James Potter and Remus Lupin were standing in the corridor behind them and Lily saw with dismay that their arms were filled with food.

"What are you doing Potter?" Lily snapped before she could help herself.

James Potter's eyes narrowed at the sudden use of his surname. "I'm here to see Marlene."

"Sirius is with her," Dorcas said, raising an eyebrow to see their reactions. They were just as she'd predicted.

Remus cracked a quiet and knowing smile but James didn't look overly pleased with this.

"Not on my watch," he muttered and made to move into the room with an angry look on his face.

Lily's arm flung out to physically stop him from entering the hospital wing. "What do you think you're doing?" She hissed. "Leave them be!"

James glared at her. "I'm stopping it from ending in tears. Sirius will just hurt her in the end."

"You can't know that Prongs," Remus said quietly.

James completely ignored him. "Let me through Evans," he growled.

Lily might be little, but she was strong. And he seemed to be reluctant to force his way through.

"No Potter. I will not let you ruin this." She growled back, equally fierce.

Dorcas and Remus exchanged a look and both began backing away from the pair slowly. They both knew what this sort of thing led to and neither of them wanted to be part of it when it happened.

"She's my best friend Evans," James snapped. "I can see her whenever I want."

Lily glared, stepping in front of the doors. "Of course you can Potter, but you will NOT go in there and start a fight with Black. Who happens to be another one of your 'best friends'." She mimed quotation marks over the last two words and then folded her arms tightly across her chest.

"But-"

"Marlene's not stupid." Lily continued, cutting across him. "She knows Black just as well as you do, she'll decide whether she wants him or not."

James frowned, "I know that but-"

"Sirius was the one who found her," Lily cut over him again. "Not you. If anyone has a right to sit in there with her, it's him alright?"

James's face fell and Lily felt a twinge of guilt. She could tell she'd just hit a nerve.

His shoulders sagged and he seemed to deflate. "Alright," he muttered morosely. "Tell...tell Mars I dropped by."

Lily swallowed and gave a tiny nod as she watched him turn and walk away. Usually she would've felt pleased that she'd won an argument but this time, as she looked at his defeated figure making it say back upstairs, she felt a pang inside her chest and the tiniest sense of remorse. She pushed it away before she could think too long on it. It was James Potter, he needed to be taken down a peg or two now and again and she was usually willing to do it.

She turned around to rant at Dorcas but found herself alone in the corridor. Dorcas and Remus had left at some point in the argument and Lily hadn't even seen them go, her attention was too focused on James.

James?

Since when had she started even thinking of Potter by his first name?

In that blasted forest, surrounded by Aurors, standing up for him in front of his parents. The look of pure gratitude he'd sent her way as she'd backed him up. That's when something had changed.

Lily felt the edges of confusion creep into her head and tried to smother them. To no avail.

* * *

Sirius woke with a jolt, not fully aware of where he was. It all came rushing back to him when he saw Marlene lying on the bed in front of him, her freckled face pale. There was still a large cut across her forehead but most of the blood had been cleaned off. She'd passed out when Madam Pomfrey had reset her leg which had been a relief of sorts. Sirius had been outside the hospital wing with everyone else when her screams had subsided. He didn't know what the Death Eaters had done to her but he had a pretty clear idea, that thought making him feel sick every time it entered his head. James's words kept echoing though his skull 'she's not as tough as she wants you to think'. He knew they had been said in a different context but the same meaning still applied, and when Sirius looked down at Marlene's small figure lying in the hospital bed, he fully believed those words. She could've been killed and he'd might have never seen her again. That made him feel cold, more cold than he'd ever felt in his life. Not even the knowledge that his parents hated him or that he might die at their hands had made him feel as afraid as he did right now, looking down at the blond-haired girl in front of him.

He cared for her. Too much.

Sirius couldn't deal with this. He'd never let himself develop feelings beyond friendship for anyone and without even realising it, Marlene had crept up and surprised him. This wasn't what he'd call a nice surprise.

Sirius stood up abruptly, staring down at her. He had wanted to sit beside her until she woke up, so that she wouldn't be alone when she did. But Sirius couldn't stay here, watching her, feeling the desire to protect her growing stronger by the second. He wasn't good for her. Everything he touched soon afterwards withered and died and he couldn't see that happen to Marlene who was so pure and beautiful. He needed to remove himself from her life so any feelings she might feel towards him would soon fade and die. That thought actually hurt him but he gritted his teeth and lent towards her, hesitating inches away from her face. He struggled with his conscience, this was goodbye after all. He might as well indulge himself one last time. Sirius lowered his lips to her forehead and kissed her there briefly, closing his eyes and savouring the feel of his lips against her skin. Then he withdrew and turned away, walking from the hospital wing without looking back, feeling his heart sink with every step he took.

And so, when Marlene finally woke up, confused and scared, she woke up alone.

* * *

_Three Weeks Later_

"Marlene, I'm pretty sure the tinsel should go this way up!" Remus shouted across the common room at the curly haired blond.

Marlene was shaking her head as she tugged on the red and gold tinsel which fell from the common room ceiling and landed all over them.

James laughed at Marlene's disappointed face and ruffled her hair playfully. "Don't worry Mars, we'll get it up in no time."

"I wanted to try doing it muggle-style," Marlene complained, batting his hand away. "Lily said it made everything more satisfying once it's up."

James scowled at the mention of Lily, "well if Evans has spoken we best all do as she says," he muttered, all playfulness gone.

Remus sighed and Peter slumped in his chair. Both of them looked exasperated.

Marlene stopped trying to reach the top of the tree and let her arms drop to her sides, "whats going on with you and Lily, James?" She asked, her freckled forehead creased in a frown. "You've been weird about her ever since..." She trailed off and looked away embarrassedly.

"Nothing happened," James said gently, noticing her biting her lip in worry. He moved forwards and wrapped his arms around her waist, crouching so he could lean his head in her shoulder and sighing, "I just need to let her go."

Marlene scowled down at him for a moment. "I thought you were going to hug me, not the other way around?"

"Oh, sorry," James said pulling away so he could wrap Marlene up in his arms like they used to do.

Marlene lent her head on his chest and breathed out, taking the comfort he was giving her.

"Don't worry about me and Evans, Mars," James said quietly. "Don't worry about anything, you know it makes me nervous when you worry."

Marlene nodded and pulled back, smiling. "Fine, but can you please help me reach the top of that bloody tree?"

James laughed and grabbed the tinsel off her, easily tying it to the top of the Christmas tree. "There you are," he said as Marlene grabbed it and started draping the rest over the lower branches.

The portrait hole opened and Sirius walked in, looking like he always did when he came back late. Which had been more often than not recently.

He froze when he saw Marlene then walked briskly past them all and up the stairs to the boys dormitory.

Marlene's face fell for a moment. She hadn't failed to notice that Sirius hadn't said one single word to her since she'd woken up in the hospital wing. When Lily, Dorcas, James, Remus and even Peter had come to visit her while she was still confined to the bed, Sirius never came. Marlene had brushed the twinge of hurt aside, assuming he was busy and that she'd see him once she got out of the damned hospital wing but when she was out, things were no better. Sirius seemed intent on avoiding her. Whenever she walked into a room, he'd leave. Whenever she tried to talk to him, he would find an excuse to get away. The worst one so far had been homework. _Homework_?! What, did he think she was stupid?

In the end, Marlene had given up trying to get him to talk to her. It was too tiring. That didn't prevent the fact that it stung when he carried on.

James was looking at her curiously, "what is up with you and Pads?" He asked.

Marlene frowned, "I thought you'd know, I've got no idea."

She noticed Remus sinking down in his chair, hiding behind his book.

"Lupin!" She snapped, jumping over so she sat next to him. "What do you know?"

"Nothing!" Remus said, a little too quickly. He saw her determined face and sighed. "I personally think it's stupid," he added.

"What's stupid?" James asked.

Remus shook his head, "I'm not allowed to say. He'll murder me if I do."

Marlene leant back and surveyed him. "I'll find out, you know I will Remus."

Remus laughed, "Marlene, I'm the master at keeping secrets...if you find out it won't be from me."

Marlene scoffed, "Sirius seems to think that some sort of salvation lies in secrets." She turned away briskly. "He couldn't be more wrong."

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	12. Chapter 12 - Questions That Need Answers

**A/N I think this is a good system, take and give back people! 5 REVIEWS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER! **

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 12: Questions That Need Answers

_"You can't hear me cry,  
_

_See my dreams all die,_

_From where you're standing, on your own._

_It's so quiet here,_

_And I feel so cold._

_This house no longer_

_Feels like home."_

_\- So Cold, Ben Cocks_

* * *

Dorcas wasn't a fool. She knew that after Marlene's attack, the dynamics of their friendships with the marauders had changed somewhat. Of course, Lily and James were still prickly with each other, more than before almost and for some reason unbeknown to man, Sirius Black was refusing to even look at Marlene. Dorcas seemed to be the middle ground in all of this and after some time of having Marlene complain about Black and Lily complain about Potter, Dorcas had given up, preferring to keep the company of Remus who she found out was also the middle ground of his friends.

"It's ridiculous," Dorcas complained. "It's like they assume I don't have my own problems to deal with so they lavish theirs on me."

Remus flicked the card pack, shuffling them like it was a natural born talent. "I know," he said. "James is moody and Sirius is constantly sulking. That's when he's not gallivanting around school at unearthly hours with different members of the female population."

"Dunno why Black's sulking," Dorcas grumbled as she picked up her cards Remus had just felt her. "He's been ignoring Marlene for nearly a whole month, doesn't he get sick of pretending he doesn't fancy the pants off her?"

Remus looked up at her sharply, eyes alert.

Dorcas shook her head and laughed lightly. "Come on Remus its so obvious! The only people who haven't seen it yet are Marlene and James, although Potter seems to be wrapped up in his own problems and Marlene is too furious at Black to actually notice it."

Remus looked down at his cards briefly. "It's probably a good thing that James hasn't noticed. You heard him at the hospital wing a few weeks back, he's convinced he's saving them both from heartbreak."

"That's stupid!" Dorcas spluttered. "You should've seen the way he looked at her when we found her..." Dorcas lent back in her seat. "I've never seen someone look like that who hasn't fallen hard for a person."

"He has," Remus said, so quietly Dorcas thought she might of misheard him.

"What?"

"I'm only telling you cause you've already worked it out," Remus said. "Sirius has convinced himself that he isn't good enough for Marlene so he's avoiding her so she won't start feeling the same way."

"He's convinced himself he isn't good enough?" Dorcas asked incredulously. "Where the fuck did he get that bright idea from?" She lowered her voice, "if it's James I'm going to kill him."

Remus smirked, "which one?"

"Both of them," Dorcas growled. "But seriously, why does he think that?"

Remus sighed and put his cards, face down, on the table. "He didn't say exactly."

"But...?" Dorcas waited. Remus so rarely indulged marauder business to her, she was going to make it last as long as she could.

"Well it's difficult to say," Remus hesitated then said rather quickly, "I think it's because of his parents."

Dorcas's forehead creased into a frown. "His parents?" She questioned but Remus seemed to think he'd said too much already and refused to say much more.

Dorcas thought about that all evening. She barely noticed Remus slowly drift off next to her then jolt awake when the rest of the marauders came in and sat themselves down next to the fire with them.

James gave Dorcas a wary look but Remus's glare stopped him from saying something stupid that he'd most likely regret.

Sirius glanced at Dorcas briefly before slumping down in his chair, staring at them fire like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Dorcas could see that his eyes were glassy and unfocused. He wasn't seeing anything in front of him.

Right then, she decided she was sick of the whole pretence. "Black, could I have a word?"

Remus shot her a warning glance but Dorcas ignored it. Sirius looked up at her curiously then shrugged, "yeah alright."

Dorcas got up and walked towards the portrait hole, not needing to look behind her to know that he was following.

Once outside, Dorcas turned to face him, folding her arms. "You're avoiding Marlene?" It wasn't a question, it was a statement that they both knew was true.

Sirius scowled, "has she put you up to this?"

"No," Dorcas shot back. "She hasn't. How can you be so selfish Black?"

Sirius's eyebrows shot up so high they almost disappeared into his hairline. "Selfish?"

"You really have no idea do you?" Dorcas snapped. "Marlene nearly died Black, and now she comes back and she's suddenly lost half of her friends!"

"I'm not half -"

"Both Lily and Potter are behaving weird after she stamped on his heart - again. They've been too occupied with themselves and each other." Dorcas knew she was being a tad harsh on both of them. They'd tried to look out for Marlene for a bit but it wasn't enough as far as Dorcas was concerned. "And then there's you Black, do you know how much you've been hurting her?"

Sirius's face had fallen, "I don't... I never meant to hurt her."

"Well you have!" Dorcas snapped angrily. She could feel the frustration at the person in front of her bubbling up. "She's always been there for you and now when she really needs it, you drop her and run away. You are a selfish, arrogant prick Black. Even this is lower than what I'd expect you to do, it's below the line."

She realised that Sirius hadn't tried to even stop her rant. He just stood there taking it and Dorcas could suddenly see thee self-loathing in his eyes. He hated himself for doing this but he carried on anyway.

Dorcas took a deep breath and said quickly, "why are you doing this to yourself Sirius?"

That had been the first time she'd ever called him by his first name as far back as she could remember. It seemed to jolt him back to look at her standing in front of him. And like that, his façade was back in place. "I'm not doing anything to myself Meadowes." He said, a tiny smirk on his face, barely covering up the pain in his eyes. "And if you don't mind, please don't go pestering Remus about my business in future, he deserves better."

Dorcas slapped him.

Hard.

Sirius's head snapped to one side but other than that he didn't react to it.

Dorcas knew she'd probably regret that in the morning, especially as her hand stung like hell, but he deserved it for now.

"You're such a wanker Black," she snapped. "If you're going to keep avoiding Marlene, fine. But for fucks sake tell her how you feel before you explode." She turned away and muttered, just loud enough for him to catch it, "probably taking everyone else down with you."

* * *

Lily was walking down the stairs into the common room when she was almost sent flying by an angry Dorcas, muttering away to herself and not seeing Lily until she had flown into her.

"Oh Lily I'm sorry!"

Lily sighed and brushed herself off, "it's fine. What are you looking so pissed about?"

Dorcas scowled and slammed her fist into the wall, "fucking Sirius Black!"

"What he done now?"

Dorcas turned to her and snarled, "he's intent on avoiding Marlene for some stupid reason, even though it's so obvious he fancies her but he won't fucking admit it to anyone! And it's hurting Mars, more than she'll ever say. I don't think I've ever met two such stubborn people in my life."

Lily chuckled, "you're extremely stubborn as well Dor. I know it's bothering you but maybe Black has it right..." She paused and pulled a face. "God forbid I'll ever say those words again but maybe he is. If you just let it play out then it'll be fine in the end."

Dorcas shook her head, "you're so optimistic Lily, but I think this is is simple. It's Potter that's been putting these notions that Sirius will just hurt Marlene into his head."

Lily paused and frowned. "Potter?"

"Yup," Dorcas said sadly. "Well I've already slapped Black tonight, why don't you go and take your frustration out on a marauder - I can see your dying to."

Lily bit her lip, "life's just gone to shit hasn't it?"

Dorcas nodded. "We're not safe anymore, even here. Marlene getting captured has just proven that."

Lily struggled to summon a small smile but it came out as more of a grimace. "We'll be alright in the end."

Dorcas nodded but it was halfheartedly, like she didn't really believe that and moved past Lily, reaching out to squeeze her arm gently as she passed.

Lily moved off down the stairs and into the common room.

* * *

The next morning was the day everyone took the Hogwarts Express back to King' Cross to go home for Christmas. Marlene packed her truck up with presents and dragged it downstairs to wait for Dorcas.

She had always loved Christmas but this year was different. She felt the desperate need to go home and get away from all the bullshit that seemed to hang in the air over the sixth year Gryffindors. James and Lily still weren't talking, although that couldn't be considered a major difference. Still, Marlene thought that they might have put aside their differences for her sake at least, but apparently that was too much to ask.

When she got to the train, her trunk got loaded on with everyone else's and Marlene went with Lily and Dorcas, like they did every year, to find a compartment. This train journey however was different. Mary's absence was as strong as her presence would've been had she lived. Alice too wasn't there, spending more time with Frank than with the rest of them. Marlene knew that she was probably a constant reminder to Alice that her best friend had died and she had not.

Marlene still dreamt about it.

All the things the Death Eaters had done to her wouldn't have been as bad as they had been if Marlene hadn't witnessed the death of one of her oldest friends. It hurt to think about her because all Marlene could remember were her last moments. Scared, desperate...alone.

"I'm going for a smoke," Marlene muttered.

Dorcas made to follow her but Marlene shook her head slightly, she needed to be on her own for a moment.

Dorcas nodded and sank back into her seat as Marlene pulled back the compartment door and made her way down the corridor to the empty carriage at the end.

Despite the loud sounds of the train and the wind whistling past her, Marlene couldn't hear or see any of it. She had never felt so alone in her life. Breathing in the warm and comforting smoke from her cigarette, Marlene felt herself relax just slightly. Looking out of the window, she saw the ground moving so fast it was a blur below her. For a second she wondered if she kept from the train whether it would all be over quickly. The thought was gone before she could process it properly. She breathed out and the smoke vanished instantly, blown away in the rushing air.

"I hope I'm not invading on your space McKinnon."

Marlene shut her eyes. She knew whose voice that was instantly and the only thing that stopped her from turning around and telling him to fuck right off was the fact that this was the first time he'd spoken to her since her capture.

She felt him come up to stand beside her, heard the singe of a cigarette end as it was lit, heard him breathing out and felt his eyes on her face. Still she refused to look up at him because she knew that if she did, she'd either crumble or break.

"Marlene," Sirius said slowly.

He sounded different than she'd ever heard him. Remorseful? That didn't make sense, Sirius Black never regretted anything.

"Marlene look at me please."

She breathed out slowly and opened her eyes. Taking a shaky drag on her burnt low cigarette before turning towards him slowly. "What do you want Sirius?"

"To apologise."

The words caught her completely off guard. "What?"

* * *

Sirius knew that this would take an enormous amount of effort to get her to forgive him but he was sick of running away. He didn't really have much of a choice on the matter, either way, Marlene just wouldn't get out of his head. He might as well enjoy the torture while he could.

When he told her he came to apologise, he honestly meant it. Sirius Black was an excellent liar but Marlene was one of those people who completely saw though it all so he didn't bother.

"I'm sorry for avoiding you," he muttered. "It was stupid of me to do, I never meant -" Sirius stopped there. He didn't exactly know what he had meant in avoiding her for the last couple of weeks. And even if he had an inkling, he didn't know how to put it into words.

Marlene was looking at him steadily but Sirius could see that part of her was breaking inside. And he had no idea how to fix her. He threw away his cigarette and reached out a hand, hesitating inches from the skin of her cheek. "I'm so sorry Lena, it was so stupid. Please forgive me?"

Marlene now had tears brining in her eyes as she looked up at him.

Sirius had never seen her cry before. Ever. But now she looked in the brink of it, hurt and sad, she was damaged by her experience and Sirius could tell that some of the innocence of her youth was gone forever.

"Why should I forgive you?" She whispered. She hadn't moved away from his hand, still hovering centimetres away from her face. "Tell me Sirius, why should I forgive you?"

"Because I won't stop pestering you until you do?" Sirius asked, trying go for a tiny bit of humour.

It worked.

Marlene shook her head and turned away from him, her lips curving upwards in a small smile. Then her face fell and she looked down, "I keep seeing her," she whispered, voice trembling.

Sirius shivered slightly, from the cold or her words he didn't know. "Mary?"

Marlene nodded, "she was so scared." Her voice caught and Sirius took his life and his heart in his hands. He grabbed hold of her and pulled her close, wrapping his strong arms around Marlene's shoulders.

He'd know her since they were eight but he'd never hugged her like this before, like he wasn't ever going to let go.

Marlene didn't put up any resistance, just slid her arms around his waist and buried her head in his chest. Sirius didn't know if she cried or not, it made not the slightest bit of difference to him.

He lent the side of his face against the top of her head and sighed, "I'm sorry Lena, I'm so sorry."

Marlene didn't reply, just nodded into his jumper, arms tightening ever so slightly around him.

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews, don't leave it to other people - it doesn't work like that!**


	13. Chapter 13 - The Buildup

**A/N This is a good system but I'm going to up it a little... 6 REVIEWS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER! Can you see where I'm going with this aha :)**

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 13: The Buildup

_"Once upon a time_

_There was a boy_

_There was a girl_

_Hearts that intertwine_

_They lived in a different kind of world."_

_\- Forbidden Love, Madonna _

* * *

"This is not up for debate," Dorcas said, stomping into Lily's room and going straight to the wardrobe, rummaging through and pulling out a couple of outfits. "You are coming with us tonight, no questions asked."

Lily groaned loudly, making her annoyance clear. Of course, Dorcas didn't give a damn about what Lily wanted.

Marlene followed Dorcas into the bedroom, looked down at the clothes laid on the bed and pointed to a green, sparkly, backless, tight knee-length dress. The one Lily had only ever worn once. The one she had decided she'd probably never wear again in a million years.

"I like that one."

"Please don't make me wear that!" Lily protested instantly. "Can't I just wear jeans and a jumper?"

Both Dorcas and Marlene glared at her. "Over my dead body," Dorcas spluttered.

"Lily, you've never been to one of James's parties before." Marlene said, going for the soothing tone. "Just let us dress you and you'll understand when you get there."

"I don't want to go!"

"Tough shit Lils," Dorcas said, forcefully pushing her down onto the bed. "Marls, you do her hair, I'll do her make-up. Then we'll get ready."

Marlene grinned, delighted with this and she jumped onto the bed behind Lily, grabbing a lock of her hair and pulling it back while Dorcas rummaged through Lily's make-up drawers, complaining about the lack of stuff Lily had.

"This is what we'll be like preparing for your wedding to James, Lils!" Marlene said happily as she braided Lily's long red hair back.

While Lily was glad that Marlene was back to her normal self, the abruptness of her statement sent shockwaves through her body. She growled angrily and elbowed Marlene in the ribs. "I can't stand Potter at the moment, let alone bloody marry the wanker."

Marlene chuckled then fell silent. "Why are you suddenly even more annoyed with him?" She asked curiously. "Did he do something while I was away?"

Lily froze, she hadn't told Marlene about why she'd argued with James outside the hospital wing and judging from the fact that Dorcas stiffened and suddenly stopped searching through the drawers, that she hadn't told Marlene either. It hadn't felt important once Sirius had started avoiding her so Lily hadn't said anything, not wanting to worry and confuse Marlene even more than she already was.

"What?" Marlene asked, noticing the sudden tension in the air. "What happened?"

Dorcas spun around, "James was being a dick when you were in the hospital wing. He wanted to stop Sirius from seeing you."

Lily turned her head to look at Marlene's expression. To judge her emotions. Her face was impassive.

"What...why would he do that?"

"Black was the one who found you, Mars." Lily said quietly. "He carried you back and then stayed next to your bed all night."

Marlene's forehead furrowed. "But..that doesn't make any sense. He's avoided me for the past month, he's only just started speaking to me again. Why would he do that?"

Lily reached out a hand and placed it gently over her friend's. "I don't know Marls, but he does care. That much is obvious."

Marlene swallowed, blinked then picked up Lily's braid and continued plaiting it.

Dorcas and Lily exchanged glances.

"So James was a dick?" Marlene said, sounding as though she was forcing the words out through gritted teeth.

Dorcas shrugged, "yeah, he seems to think that Sirius will break your heart or something. I'm pretty sure he would've gone into the hospital wing and started a fight if Lily hadn't stopped him."

"Right." Marlene said, sounding pissed off, although at who exactly, Lily didn't know. She supposed she was going to find out soon enough.

* * *

Dorcas and Marlene both stood back to survey their handiwork, having gotten themselves ready as well.

To Dorcas's satisfaction, Lily was now sitting on her bed with her curled and braided hair hanging over one shoulder. Her make-up was simple but went perfectly to highlight her eyes and cheekbones. The dress looked amazing on her, Dorcas noted with satisfaction. The colour was the same as her eyes and the back dropped halfway down, covered with straps. The face however didn't go with the look. Lily was scowling darkly with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Come on Lils," Marlene said abruptly. "Let's go!"

"Remus will be here in seconds," Dorcas added as her and Marlene physically pulled their friend from her room.

Lily resisted for a moment but Dorcas and Marlene were both too strong so she relented. "I don't want to see him at all," she told them hastily.

"Fine!" Dorcas mumbled, "I'm not going to babysit you. The Prewett twins will be there, I'm sure Fabian won't mind."

Marlene turned around and shot Dorcas a look.

The three girls had just stepped outside the door when Remus appeared with a crack.

"You can apparate?" Marlene asked, sounding surprised. "Since when?"

"Since yesterday," Remus chuckled. "It was my birthday yesterday," he added when Marlene still looked confused.

Marlene nodded and smiled at him, "happy birthday Lupin." She walked over to the pavement and stuck her wand out.

"What exactly are you doing here Remus?" Lily asked.

Remus turned to her, opening his mouth to reply but those words never came. What he did eventually say was, "wow Lily, you look great."

Dorcas smirked as Lily blushed, "you can thank mine and Marlene's work for that, but you haven't got any compliments for us have you?"

Remus turned and looked her up and down. Dorcas had let her curly hair remain curly, just pinning it back with a few clips. Her dress was even shorter than Lily's and dark red.

Remus flushed slightly, "you..." He cleared his throat, "you look great too. More than great."

Dorcas smiled at him and walked over to where Marlene was waiting impatiently by the Knight Bus. "Lets go party!"

"Can we hurry up about it too," Marlene grumbled restlessly. "I need to hit someone."

Remus caught Dorcas's arm as she was getting on. "What's she talking about?" He whispered in her ear, sending shivers down Dorcas's spine.

"She knows everything. Why Lily is cross with James, about Sirius... Everything."

"Shit." Remus cursed softly, letting go of her arm. "Let's just hope they keep it quiet."

"This is James and Sirius," Dorcas replied, allowing him to usher her onto the bus. "Of course it won't stay quiet."

Remus grimaced and pulled Dorcas down to sit next to him.

Dorcas hid a small smile at his actions but had no idea if she was successful or not. Judging from Marlene catching her eye and winking, probably not.

* * *

The party was in full swing when they arrived. The ground floor of James's house had been transformed into a kind of nightclub type thing. Marlene wasn't as shocked as Lily, she'd seen the Potter's house at all sorts of different occasions and this was just one annual thing that James took upon himself to do.

"Where's James?" Marlene asked abruptly, searching the heads of the people in the kitchen. She could see many people she knew in the crowd. The Prewett brothers were there, Peter was saving drinks at the counter, Sirius was fiddling with the large magical megaphone in the corner and Alice and Frank were sitting on the sofa, drinking cocktails but there was no sign of James.

Marlene sighed, "I need a drink."

"Yes, let's go!" Dorcas said happily. She turned to Remus "see you later!" She managed to get out before Marlene tugged her by the hand towards Peter.

"What even is this place?" Lily muttered in slight awe, staring around the room.

"James's palace of mischief... When his mum isn't around." Marlene replied, arriving at the counter. "Pettigrew!" She yelled.

The small boy came bouncing up to them, a wacky grin on his face. "Yes Marlene?"

Marlene came up short at the look of bliss on his face. "What has Sirius given you?"

Peter shrugged and pulled three firewhiskey bottles from below the counter-top. "There you go, James told me its on the house for you three."

Marlene struggled to hide a grin, "fucking hell," she muttered, turning away. "He's acting like a bloody pub owner."

Dorcas uncorked her bottle on the countertop like a pro. "So what you gonna say to James?" She asked, voice brimming with curiosity.

Marlene frowned thoughtfully. "I'm not going to say anything to him," she said eventually. "James has no say in what I do with my life and he needs to realise that, but confronting him about won't work; he's as stubborn as a mule."

Dorcas nodded, "your call Mars...what about Sirius?"

Marlene shrugged, "I don't think it's anything anyway. He's just..." Here she seemed to find difficulty finding the words.

"Difficult?" Dorcas supplied, "confused? Manipulated? A complete tosser?"

Marlene shrugged, "all of those things, yet none of those things at the same time."

Dorcas nodded wisely.

Marlene sighed and drank some firewhiskey, feeling it burn her throat. She felt warm and suddenly very safe for the first time in a long while. She knew it was just the alcohol but it was a nice feeling. She looked around to see if Lily had any input into the conversation, she was usually very vocal about these things. Lily wasn't there. "Where's Lily?" Marlene asked.

Dorcas pointed, "chatting to Amelia Bones over there." She grabbed her drink and gulped another mouthful. "I'm going to go and enjoy myself tonight, I advise you to do the same Mars. Laters!"

Marlene watched Dorcas move though the crowd in the direction of Remus Lupin. Marlene smirked to herself and turned back to the bar to find Peter passed out in the chair. Sighing, Marlene walked around the counter and shook him slightly. He didn't wake up. She held her cold bottle near his mouth and saw that he was still breathing so it was okay to push his chair out of the way with him still sitting on it - which was harder than she'd thought it would be - and stand up straight to come face to face with Fabian Prewett.

"Need some help?" The tall, good looking seventh year asked cheerfully.

Marlene flushed, realising she'd been bent over, probably pulling her dress too far up for her comfort. "No I'm fine," she said, trying to cling on to the scraps of her dignity.

Fabian laughed, noticing Peter slumped over in the chair behind her, "what did you do to him?"

"Nothing," Marlene shot back, suddenly feeling the need to get outside for air. "I think Sirius might have given him spliff."

"Sirius eh?" Fabian said, leaning on the counter.

Marlene narrowed her eyes at him, "what about him?"

Fabian leaned towards her so his mouth was right next to her ear and whispered, "he's watching us."

Marlene's eyes darted to the side that she knew Sirius was standing at the other end of the room. As soon as their eyes met, Sirius looked away quickly but she knew. From that one look she knew all she needed to know.

* * *

Sirius hated the way she made him feel, hated it and loved it at the same time. He dreaded that gaze and craved it all at once but as their eyes met across the room full of people Sirius knew, didn't know, and didn't give a shit about, his throat went dry and he felt the strong, familiar urge to run away from her blue stare. She was beautiful, curly blond hair loose and her figure-hugging blue dress and those eyes. She knew, her face said as much. He had already been warned by Remus that Marlene had started to put the pieces together but he'd dismissed it with a wave of his arm, still not completely certain of himself. But then he'd seen Fabian Prewett looking at her, then talking to her, then whispering to her and jealousy had reared its ugly head. Now she was looking at him in that way which told him that she knew and so Sirius did what he was best at. He ran away.

* * *

Remus needed a breather and some fresh air. The Potter's garden was large to say the least and it was full of people milling around, getting off in the bushes and staggering about getting lost. Remus walked away from them to the area which was the most unkept part with a small pond and benches. The advantage of knowing the grounds so well was that he knew where the quiet spots would be.

It appeared that he wasn't the only one.

Sirius was sitting on one of the benches, head leaning back to look up at the night's clear sky and a spliff sticking out of his mouth.

"Hey Pads," Remus said, sitting down next to him and wrapping his arms around himself to keep himself warm.

Sirius's head shot up to look at him, "alright Moons."

Something about the way he said it and the look in his eyes worried Remus. It was a shame really, as if he didn't have other things to concern him, he spent most of his time worrying about James and Sirius alongside it. "What's wrong Pads?" He asked, sounding tipsy - even to himself.

"Marlene knows."

Ah. So this was why Sirius was behaving like this.

"You've spoken to her?"

Sirius shook his head, taking a long drag at the spliff.

"Then how do you know?"

"I just do."

Remus frowned in confusion. Sirius wasn't making an ounce of sense here. "Are you going to talk to her then?"

Sirius shrugged, "what good would that do?"

Something clicked in Remus's head then, something he'd known in the back of his head but had never acknowledged. "You're scared."

Sirius's eyes shot open. "Of course I'm scared! I'm fucking terrified mate!" He was sitting up now and was causing Remus to sober up at the emotion in his friend's voice. "Remus, I have no idea what to do. I've never felt like this about anyone ever, tell me what I should do?"

Remus told him the only thing he knew would solve this. "Talk to her Pads, talk to her and sort it out."

Sirius deflated. "I can't," he said quietly, staring at the pond with little fairy lights all around it. "I promised James I'd leave her alone."

Anger at James bubbled up inside Remus but he shouldn't have been surprised, he figured that James might do something stupid like this and Sirius would be stupid enough to take it to heart. "Fucking hell," he muttered.

Sirius looked at him in shock. "I never hear you cuss," he said quietly.

"Seriously Padfoot, talk to her. Fuck James, fuck your stupid pride. This will eat you up from the inside if you don't leg it out!" Remus had never felt this frustrated at his friends. "If you don't talk to her by the time we go back to school I'll tell her myself!"

"You wouldn't," Sirius said, sounding worried.

"I fucking well would!" Remus shot back, standing and stumbling away from the bench. "Fucking tell her Sirius. Man up and stop being a coward!" He turned and stumbled towards the brightly lit house, leaving Sirius staring after him wth a burnt out spliff dangling from his fingers.

* * *

Lily had been having a great time, much better than she'd ever have dreamed having at a party hosted by James Potter but she was having a blast. She'd just stopped dancing with Gideon Prewett and had sat down before her legs collapsed under her when she saw Marlene come over to her with two glasses of bubbling champagne. She handed one to Lily who grinned and downed hers straightaway.

Marlene laughed at her, "you having a good time I take it?"

Lily giggled, "better now you're here Marley!" She grabbed Marlene's hand and used her to help herself up, swaying violently.

"I probably shouldn't have given you that," Marlene said looking bemused. "Let's go and get you a glass of water yeah?"

Lily felt the room spinning around her and felt light as a feather. "Okay," she said dreamily, allowing Marlene to lead her towards the kitchen.

Lily leaned heavily on Marlene and was slightly annoyed when Sirius Black walked up and stood in front of them, ignoring Lily and talking directly to Marlene. "I need to speak to you."

"Not now Sirius," Marlene said, readjusting her grip on Lily's waist.

Lily scowled at Sirius, "she's mine Black, you can't take her away from me!"

Sirius's eyes fell in her and his lips quirked upwards in an amused grin. He was very handsome when he smiled, Lily thought. _No. That's Sirius Black, you hate him remember?_ Lily giggled again and reached up to pat Sirius on the cheek. "It's okay Paddy, I'll let you have her on a temporary loan."

Sirius laughed. "I've waited so long to see a drunk Evans, this is brilliant."

Lily shook her head and hugged Marlene around the waist, whispering in her ear "he's in league with Potter, we must thwart them!"

Marlene chuckled and shook her head, "some help please?" She asked Sirius.

Sirius grinned, "right." He moved towards them and grabbed Lily's other arm, wrapping it around his shoulders so he took all Lily's weight off Marlene.

"We were going to the kitchen," Marlene said as Lily felt the world fade in and out. "She might have had some weed as well but I'm not sure."

Sirius's dog-like laughter sounded distant to Lily's ears.

"I was just dancing with the most beautiful person," Lily told him. "I need to go back and find my knight in shinning armour!"

"Don't worry flower, I'm here!" Sirius said happily.

"Not you!" Lily said, laughing so hard she snorted.

They made it to the kitchen without injury which Marlene was thankful for, Lily was spouting more and more rubbish and Marlene was worried that she'd say something she'd really regret tomorrow. Aside from that, Marlene was worried about James, she hadn't seen him all night which was really weird. James was usually the heart and soul of these parties but she couldn't find him anywhere.

Marlene and Sirius dragged Lily into the kitchen but Lily was suddenly resistant. "No, no, no, no!" She muttered into Marlene's ear. "Not him!"

Marlene looked up and there at last was James, staring at them in complete shock.

Sirius dropped Lily's arm instantly and stepped a good foot away from the two girls, looking sheepish but James didn't even notice him.

"Where have you been?" Marlene asked as she unhooked Lily's grip on her arm and moved towards the sink, putting down her glass of champagne and picking up and empty one, filling it with water.

"Around," James said briefly, staring at Lily. "I didn't know you were bringing her."

"Don't be like that Prongs," Sirius started but James silenced him with a look.

Marlene folded her arms and glared at her friend, "excuse me James but you've always wanted her here. I know why you two argued and I'm telling you now to give it a rest. Butt out if other people's business okay?"

So much for not talking to him about it.

James's face fell as he looked at her. "I just don't want you to get hurt Mars," he said quietly.

Marlene smiled and reached out to cup his face gently, "no one can stop that Jamesie,"

"No but I can try," James whispered.

Marlene shook her head and turned away from him, handing the glass of water to Lily. "Sort your shit out with Lily," she said.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked looking like she wanted to stop her but didn't seem in any state to do so.

Marlene sighed and looked at Sirius, he raised his eyebrows questioningly. "For a smoke." Marlene muttered and grabbed Sirius's arm, dragging him from the room to leave James and Lily to talk over their issues. She realised, as Sirius followed her outside, she'd probably have to talk over her own as well.

**REMEMBER: 6 reviews, don't leave it to other people - it doesn't work like that!**


	14. Chapter 14 - Three Words

**A/N This is a slightly shorter chapter because the last one was such a long one but I think you'll all like it aha... 5 REVIEWS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER! **

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 14: Three Words

_"He's burned down many a bridge and_

_He's scared of walking in the dark_

_It hurts when the rain falls on your skin."_

_\- Ghost, Blue Foundation_

* * *

Lily was looking at him and James could tell she was sobering up very quickly, sipping on her glass of water and staring at him across the room. James probably would've left her a while ago and hunted down Sirius and Marlene but this was Lily Evans, the girl he had pinned after for years was now sitting in his kitchen opposite him, drunk out of her wits. Of course, James was a gentleman and would never in a million years take advantage of her but that didn't stop him finding the situation bitterly ironic. He'd wanted to see Lily in his house, sitting at his table for so long and now she finally was, she wasn't in her right mind.

"Marlene expects us to sort whatever this is out."

Her voice was clearer than he'd expected given that ten minutes ago she was clinging onto Sirius for support and giggling... Lily Evans never giggled.

James shrugged, "what is this, Lily?" He asked, waving his hand about to emphasise. "You tell me?"

Lily shrugged and drank some more water. "You were a dick at the hospital wing," she said abruptly. "But I understand why," she added.

James looked up at her in shock, "what did you say?"

"I understand; you wanted to protect Marlene, we all want to protect our friends. We just can't stop some things happening and if they fall for each other, it's out of your control." Lily was looking at him with those green eyes that James loved so much, eyes that pained him to look at sometimes but he did anyway.

"I know," he relented quietly. "I thought...I just, for a moment thought that..." He shook his head and trailed off sadly.

"What?" Lily asked quietly. "What James?"

James's eyes widened and he looked up at her. That was the first time she had ever called him by his first name and it caused hope to spring slightly in his chest. "I just thought we might have a shot at being friends, after we rescued Marlene."

Lily hesitated, all signs of being completely off her face gone. "So did I," she said eventually.

Three words was all it took for James to grab hold of hope tighter than he'd ever been able to before. "So, do you think we can try it? Being friends I mean."

"I suppose I wouldn't mind a break from the constant arguing," Lily said, the glazed drunken look coming back into her eye. "Now come and get wasted with me?"

James knew his smile right then would make the sun look pathetic. "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

Marlene breathed out, watching the white cloud of smoke drift away from her in to the darkness. She wanted to freeze that moment so she would ever have to turn and face the man who seemed to be causing all the problems in her life. But of course, time runs out for everybody.

"Lena."

Marlene sighed and turned around, only to find Sirius half a meter away. "Yes?" She asked, wanting to step back but unable to do so.

"Do you have a light?"

Marlene relaxed instantly and chucked him her lighter which he caught deftly with one hand, "cheers."

Once he'd passed it back to her, Marlene studied him. Sirius Black was a dangerous person to become close to but she knew, if he let you inside that hard outer shell, he was one of the most loyal and trust-worthy people you could find. He was a marauder, body and soul. Whether she'd been let in or not however, she was never sure. Sirius seemed to refuse to open himself up to anyone who wasn't his three best friends and that frustrated Marlene more than she'd ever admit because how can you fix someone if they never let you near?

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Marlene asked, becoming uncomfortable with the silence.

Sirius sighed heavily and stamped out his cigarette, even though he'd barely smoked any of it. "You know Harriet Matthews in Ravenclaw?"

Marlene nodded, completely lost as to where this conversation was going.

"Well I probably wouldn't be saying this if Remus isn't making me say it because Remus is a cock who really doesn't deserve anyone half as fit as Meadowes but he probably will anyway -"

Marlene pressed a hand over his mouth to stop the rambling and frowned. "You wanted to talk to me about Remus and Dorcas?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Sirius shook his head.

Marlene removed her hand, "then what, Sirius?"

Sirius opened his mouth but no words came out, he seemed to be struggling to form them.

"What?" Marlene asked, curiosity, anticipation and anxiousness bubbling into one thing in the pit of her stomach. "Just tell me!"

"I like you!" Sirius blurted out, afterwards looking shocked that he'd actually said it.

I like you.

There it was. Three words that Marlene knew would change her entire life and even now, she wasn't sure if she'd heard them right. Time seemed to freeze as different emotions raced through her and they stared at each other, both of them like rabbits caught in the headlights.

"Marlene?" Sirius asked nervously. "Say something, please."

Marlene took a deep shaky breath and threw her cigarette on the ground, stamping it out slowly. Then she stepped forwards, closing the gap between them and reached up to hook her arm around the back of his neck, pulling him down to her height and pressing her lips to his.

Sirius froze for about 0.1 second, then Marlene felt him grin triumphantly into the kiss and respond with such passion, Marlene almost forgot how to breathe. Hands intwined themselves in his hair and Sirius's arms snaked around her waist, spinning her around and pushing her back against the wall smoothly, like she weighed nothing.

Marlene felt the cold hard stone of the Potter's building pressing against her back and broke away from the kiss. "Sirius," she breathed.

Sirius pulled back to look at her. "What?"

Marlene laughed lightly, "what was that bullshit about Harriet Matthews?"

Sirius shrugged, "I'm not a hundred percent sure but I was going to tell you about how she fancied Edgar Bones."

"What has that got to do with anything?" Marlene laughed outright now.

"I don't know," Sirius grumbled. "It was going to be an analogy of some sorts."

Marlene smiled and kissed him but pulled away again when Sirius returned it fiercely.

He groaned and let his head fall onto her collarbone, "Marlene..."

"It's freezing out here Sirius, plus I'm not having sex with you where anyone could walk out and see us."

Sirius stepped back and grabbed her hand, "fine, come with me."

"This is the Potter's house," Marlene pointed out as he led her towards the back door.

"Yes," Sirius said, shooting her a grin over his shoulder. "And I live at the Potter's."

Marlene smiled and linked their fingers together. "Fine. You win."

* * *

"So let's get this straight; are they dating now or not?" Dorcas leant back in her seat on the Hogwarts Express and surveyed her friends for any sign of weakness she could jump upon and question. "Because right now, I'm extremely confused."

"I don't know," James mumbled. "I'm not particularly sure I want to know either," he added, pulling a face.

Dorcas scoffed, "pathetic Potter."

Beside her, Remus chuckled and flipped the page of his newspaper. "Sirius hasn't said anything to me," he said when Dorcas prodded him. "All I know is that they 'cleared some stuff,' the other night."

"Well they're obviously doing something," Peter pointed out. "Sirius has been too secretive about it for it not to be anything."

"There's a point," Lily said quietly. "And so had Marlene, I've barely managed to get anything out of her since that party."

Remus let the paper he was reading flop down into his lap as he looked up at them all, "has anyone actually outright asked them?"

Dorcas exchanged a look with Lily. They both shrugged.

Remus looked round at everyone else and shook his head. "Thought not."

"Well then, let's just ask them," Dorcas said, just as the compartment door opened and the pair in question walked in.

Marlene was behind Sirius and was laughing at something he had apparently just said but Sirius was looking at them curiously. "Ask who what?" He said suspiciously.

Lily, James and Peter shuffled nervously as Marlene fully entered the compartment, arms full of food. Remus continued reading although his eyes weren't moving along the page.

Dorcas sighed, why was it alway her? "Are you two dating or not?" She asked bluntly. Subtly was never her strong point.

Marlene and Sirius stared at her, then looked at each other. Marlene shrugged and inclined her head then sat down next to James and chucked Peter the chocolate frogs he'd asked for.

Everyone looked from Sirius to Marlene then back again.

"Well...?" Dorcas drew out.

Sirius bit into a roll of bread and raised his eyebrows at Marlene who gave another little shrug, looking like she was trying not to laugh.

"Yeah guess so," Sirius said, swallowing the bread.

Lily squealed excitedly and jumped up and down in her seat. "I knew it!"

Dorcas rolled her eyes and caught sight of James staring, narrowed eyes at his two friends.

"I don't want to hear any details," he growled warningly. "And if one of you hurts the other, I'll -"

What exactly he would do, Dorcas never found out.

"Oh piss off James," Marlene snapped playfully shoving her best friend and rolling her eyes. "We've all heard it before."

Dorcas sighed, glad that was all over and done with. She could feel a headache coming on in her right temple and wanted nothing more than to get back to school and go to bed sleep it off. She slid down up in her seat, ignoring Lily and Sirius bickering over the finer details of Dumbledore's chocolate frog card and closed her eyes.

"You alright?" Remus nudged her gently.

Dorcas nodded, keeping her eyes closed. "Headache," she mumbled.

Remus queued her arm sympathetically and she felt him slide down into the seat next to her. "Go to sleep Dor, I'll wake you when we get there."

"Wake me up ten minutes before," Dorcas muttered as she let her head fall onto his shoulder, already feeling the edge of sleep.

"Why?" Remus said. She could practically hear him frowning in confusion.

"I look awful when I've just woken up."

She could feel Remus chuckling as his shoulders shook. "Okay," he said quietly. "I'll wake you up."

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews, don't leave it to other people - it doesn't work like that! Plus I can see how many people are reading it compared to the review count ;)**


	15. Chapter 15 - The Brother's Betrayal

**A/N Annndd it's a long one again. I'm so thankful to all the people who have reviewed this story - it's kept me going and I can't reply to most of you because most of you are guest reviewers but I just want you to know, you have my thanks x**

**5 REVIEWS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 15: The Brother's Betrayal

_"Brother, forgive me  
_

_We both know I'm the one to blame_

_When I saw my demons_

_I knew them well and welcomed them_

_But I'll come around  
_

_Someday."_

_\- The Lament of Eustace Scrubb_

* * *

The word that Sirius Black was dating Marlene McKinnon spread like wildfire throughout Hogwarts and by the end of the first week back after Christmas, the entire student population seemed to know. The reactions varied from person to person; some were disappointed that Sirius was actually off the menu for the first time anyone could recall; some were pleased that he'd actually maned up enough to commit to something. The difference in gender between these two opinions was rather unsurprising, Remus mused to himself as he covered his morning toast with Nutella. This gossip took up so much brain power that barely anyone seemed to have noticed the co-existence between James and Lily. There had been a peaceful quiet that had descended over Hogwarts with their lack of usual arguments, apart from the rumour mill going crazy about the new couple that is.

Remus himself had never been in much of the spotlight, preferring to leave that part to his two best friends. He, along with Peter had watched, perfectly content to let James and Sirius claim the fame that being a marauder can bring but now, it seemed that that was changing. With Sirius taken, who had been the most available marauder out of the four what with James chasing after Lily for so many years, Remus had been receiving much more attention than he'd ever expected, or wanted. Just the other day, Miranda Jenkins had asked him to Hogsmead to which Remus, to startled to know exactly what to say, had told her that he wasn't going to the next Hogsemad trip. The latter part was actually true as the full moon fell on that particular weekend and Remus preferred to stay in the dormitory where it was quiet and familiar.

"Morning Lupin," Marlene said, dropping into a seat next to him and grabbing the cereal. She looked more tired than usual with slight dark rings under her eyes and her hair pulled back in a messy bun as she dug into her breakfast hungrily.

"Hey Marlene," Remus said, then added because he was a polite person, "you alright?"

Marlene nodded, pouring herself some coffee. "Fine," she said cheerfully. "Tired but good."

"Sirius keep you up late then?" Remus asked innocently, taking a large bite out of his toast then glancing at her, eyes twinkling mischievously.

Marlene turned and surveyed him for a moment. "You know Lupin, everyone says you're the sensible one, but you love a bit of mischief as much as James and Sirius, don't you?"

"Who's everyone?" Remus grinned.

Marlene shrugged and mumbled something which sounded like "Dorcas."

Remus's grin grew and he poked her lightly, "what's she been saying about me?"

"Not much," Marlene said. "And it wasn't Sirius keeping me up; James had us training at unearthly hours last night, bastard thinks that if he works us till we drop, we'll be the better team for this upcoming game. I fucking wish," she grumbled.

Remus smiled and turned back to his breakfast. "You want to be careful Marlene," he said, suddenly serious. "You and Sirius, you're like the celebrity couple - everyone's watching you and waiting for one of you to mess up."

Marlene sighed and savagely stabbed her knife into the butter. "I know," she said quietly. "I don't give a damn about what everyone thinks."

Remus nodded, "I know and neither does Sirius. Just watch each other's backs, please. For his sake as well as your own."

For a moment, Marlene looked at him with a strange expression, one he'd never seen on her face before. Then she smiled gently, "thanks Remus... Maybe Dorcas is right about you."

Remus frowned, "what about me?"

"That you have one of the kindest hearts," Marlene said softly before grabbing the rest of her toast, swinging off the bench and walking out of the Great Hall towards her lessons, leaving Remus sitting there trying to digest that information she had just supplied him with.

* * *

Professor Dinstra swept up and down the little pathways that separated the sofas and their little tables from each other, carrying the permanent smell of insense with her and causing the loose strands of hair that were falling into Marlene's eyes to blow back in the wind she caused as she moved past them, all beads and long robes with tiny and intricate designs woven into them.

Marlene felt her eyelids grow heavy at the heat in the room and moved a little closer to the small window in the corner which was open just enough to let a tiny breeze through. Beside her, she could hear James complaining under his breath about how they should've dropped the stupid subject when Moony did because at least he didn't ever have to come up to this stupid room and hear the Divination teacher's stupid predictions about who is going to die and who isn't. Marlene was only half paying attention to her best friend's rant; the word 'stupid' was uttered quite a bit.

"What do you see!" Their professor cried, so suddenly that Marlene jolted upright and snapped to attention.

"Gaze into the depths of the glass my dears, what is it that you see in the mist?"

"Hey look, Padfoot, I can see you!" James said, obviously not taking this seriously. "Oh wait, it's your reflection," he said in a tone which tried to sound disappointed.

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh and grinned, "don't sound so let down Prongs, you get to see my beautiful face every day."

"Death!"

The cry cut Marlene's laughter off and she spun around to see Professor Dinstra staring avidly into James's glass sphere. "My dear, I'm so terribly sorry, death is coming for you on dark wings. Closer and closer it creeps - coming for you and your beating heart!"

James leant back in his chair and smirked. This hadn't been the first time their teacher had 'foreseen' their deaths and Marlene was sure it wouldn't be the last either. Either way, James was smart enough not to take her seriously, instead grinning widely at the teacher.

Sirius fell into the normal pattern that was usual for the pair of them to help them entertain the lives throughout the lesson, "can you read mine now Professor?" He asked innocently.

Marlene hid her amusement by hiding behind a textbook, peeking over the top just to see Dinstra swoop over to Sirius and bend low over his glass ball with a fascinated expression. "Oh my dear boy," she said, somehow sounding dreamily horrified at the same time. "I can see a dark place you'll go to in your future. A false accusation, an attempted murder - oh it is dark indeed!"

Sirius shook his head sadly. "False accusations are the story of my life Professor," he said, looking depressed.

"Oh my dear boy do not be disheartened!" The Divination teacher exclaimed. "You will find light at the end of the journey!"

Marlene's laughter shook her body as she watched Sirius's face light up like a Christmas tree.

"Really?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes, yes of course!"

It was then that Sirius caught Marlene's eye and winked. She had to bury her head in her hands to stop herself from laughing out loud, hie side her, James was looking throughly amused by the situation.

"I love that class," Sirius said as he made his way down the staircase, followed by James and Marlene. "It makes me happy every time she predicts my death."

Marlene frowned at him, "you're so weird."

Sirius just shot her a winning smile. "Ah but my dear," he said, raising his voice so he sounded scarily like their divination teacher, "that is why you find me so amusing."

James shook his head at his friend as Marlene laughed. The two kept the affectionate displays to a minimum around James, partly because he pulled a disgusted face every time he saw them and secondly, because they both knew it was a touchy subject and although Sirius rolled his eyes every time it was mentioned and Marlene sighed heavily, there was otherwise, no complaints.

"Where shall we go then?" James asked, rubbing his hands together. "Wormtail has the map so I have no idea where the others are. Plus I really don't want to spend the entire fifteen minutes of break searching for them."

Marlene scoffed and rolled her eyes, "you rely too much on that bloody map."

"Did she just insult our finest work?" Sirius said, turning to James.

"I believe she did Pads," James replied haughtily. "Take it back McKinnon!"

"No," Marlene said, spinning on her heel and walking away from them with the crowd surging towards the courtyard outside.

James shrugged, "you go mate, I've got to go to the library -"

"What?!"

James blinked at Sirius who looked stunned. "What?"

"Seriously Prongs, I didn't even know you knew where the library was..."

James scowled at him, "don't be a dick Pads, I know where it is."

Sirius's expression turned into that of mock horror. "This is the end, I know it! I've lost him to Evans!"

Scoffing, James shoved his best friend in the direction Marlene had gone. "Don't be a prick Sirius, go and find Mars before she does something unspeakable to some Slytherin seventh year."

Sirius shot him a playful glare and made at rude hand gesture in James's direction, which was almost spotted by Professor McGonagall who happened to be walking round the corner. Fortunately for Sirius, she only looked at him suspiciously as he hurried past her.

* * *

Sirius bounded up to Marlene as she sped down the corridor towards the outdoors. Luckily for him, he was faster than her so it was an easy feat to catch up to her. She just smiled at him when he grabbed her hand and said, "you got rid of James then?"

Sirius sighed loudly and dramatically, "I fear I've lost him forever Lena, I need someone to help me through this emotional turmoil I'm in!"

Marlene frowned at him, confused as they turned into a quieter corridor, one that led them outside quicker.

"He's gone to the library," Sirius stage-whispered, horrified.

Marlene threw back her head and laughed. The sound of it made Sirius grin triumphantly; he loved making her laugh, the sound seemed to reverberated inside his head and boost his mood into a much happier place.

"Oh Sirius," she said, tucking her arm through his and leaning into him. "You poor, poor thing."

Sirius was about to reply when a voice behind him made him freeze and caused Marlene to go tense beside him.

"Hello big brother."

How he wished he could reverse time and have looked out for Regulus more often, made sure he wasn't falling into bad habits and wasn't constantly being manipulated by people like Snape and his parents.

Marlene's grip on his hand tightened and they both turned around at the same time to face the younger Black brother.

"Yes?" Sirius asked, tersely. He couldn't stand these little confrontations they had but Regulus on the other hand never seemed to tire of them.

"I need to speak with you," he shot a look in Marlene's direction then ground out through tight lips, "alone."

Marlene glanced at Sirius, eyebrows raised.

Sirius sighed, he knew how these conversations ended with Regulus and he didn't want Marlene to witness it, so he turned and kissed her forehead briefly. "Go," he muttered, "try and find James, I'll see you later."

Marlene nodded, shot a dark look in Regulus's direction, which he ignored, and turned to walk back down the corridor briskly, not looking back.

"What do you want Reg," Sirius sighed, looking back at his brother once Marlene had rounded the corner.

Regulus drew himself up to his full height, "to talk about her."

He was looking in the direction that Marlene had disappeared. Sirius's forehead creased into a frown, "I don't understand..."

"I'm sorry Sirius," Regulus whispered and Sirius cursed himself for taking this route. It was dark, hidden and nobody would know to try and find him here, he was cut off.

Regulus was walking towards him. "I'm sorry but you have to let her go; Avery wants her badly and you're the only thing standing in the way of him."

Sirius scoffed, "Avery? Avery's a pathetic shit Reg. Marlene is mine and I'll be damned before I let scum like Avery have her."

Regulus looked at him sadly, "then I'm sorry Sirius. You had you're chance." He seemed genuinely remorseful and Sirius stepped backwards, making towards the exit but hands grabbed him from behind and wrapped around his throat.

* * *

James was sitting in the common room with Remus and Peter when Marlene walked in. She looked around and frowned when she saw them.

"Have you seen Sirius?" She asked, dropping down into a seat next to James and looking around at them expectantly.

James shrugged, "I thought he was with you?"

"I haven't seen him since this morning," Marlene said nervously. "He was having a conversation with Regulus."

That caught the boy's attentions.

"Regulus you say?" Remus asked carefully. "When was this exactly?"

Marlene bit her lip nervously, "break... Regulus wanted to talk to him about something."

Remus glanced at James, "he didn't turn up to Care of Magical Creatures either, I thought he was skiving."

"Wormtail, get the map -"

But Peter had already unfolded the parchment and was scanning it carefully. "Found him!" He said after a moment. "He's in the secret passageway on the second floor."

James stood abruptly, "right, let's go."

Marlene made stand too but James shook his head, "Mars, you stay here and tell Lily what's going on."

"But -"

"Please, Marlene. Let us handle this, I don't know what state he's going to be in."

Marlene glared but sat down again, arms crossed. "Fine, but be quick."

James nodded then hurried towards the portrait hole, followed by Peter and Remus.

Marlene watched them go, panic starting to take hold in the pit of her stomach. What if Sirius had got into a fight? She'd never forgive herself for leaving him if he was slid down in her seat to wait for someone - whether it was the marauders or Lily and Dorcas. The person who dropped into the seat next to hers however, was the last person she expected.

"McKinnon," Emmaline Vance said in a monotone.

"Vance," Marlene replied. "I'm really not in the mood right now alright?"

Emmaline scoffed, "you never are though McKinnon, are you?" She paused and sighed. "I need to talk to you about something important - it can't wait."

Marlene groaned and stared up at the ceiling. "How did you even get in here? This is the Gryffindor Common Room, not the Ravenclaw."

Emmaline rolled her eyes. "It's easy if you know the password, now can you please listen to me, it's important."

Marlene looked at her, waiting with a very thin patience that was wearing off fast.

"I heard some Slytherins talking earlier, they said -"

"Vance! What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Dorcas's voice cut through like a knife and Emmaline froze, obviously knowing that her time was up. Her face set and she turned to look at Dorcas coolly. "I was just speaking to McKinnon here."

Dorcas scowled and crossed her arms over her chest, "well would you kindly fuck off? You're sitting in my seat."

Marlene held up a hand, "hang on Dor -" but she stopped speaking as the portrait hole opened and Sirius walked in, leaning heavily on James. Remus and Peter dashed in behind them and straight upstairs, not even glancing in the direction of the girls in their haste to get to their dormitory.

"What the fuck happened?" Dorcas asked as Marlene hurried past her.

"This is what I was trying to tell Marlene when you so rudely interrupted!" Emmaline shot at her.

Dorcas glared at her, "Vance, get the heck out before I throw you out myself!"

Emmaline shrugged and walked past her, bashing her shoulder roughly and disappearing out of the portrait hole.

Remus and Peter were back down the stairs with a bottle of potion and some paper towels. They quickly went to the sofa that James had let Sirius lay back on and Remus poured the entire contents down Sirius's throat.

"What was that?" Marlene asked. She was sitting in the chair next to the sofa, watching her boyfriend with trepidation.

"Pain relief," Remus replied. "He's broken a few ribs."

"Why didn't you take him to the hospital wing?" Dorcas asked, confused.

James sighed, "he wouldn't go. I suppose this is the safest place for him."

Marlene rubbed her face with her hands, "this is Hogwarts, it's supposed to be safe."

"Do you really believe that Mars, after everything that's happened?" James looked at her, eyebrow raised. "If he's here, the Slytherins can't reach him."

"Who said this was Slytherins?" Dorcas frowned.

"Who else would it be?" Peter said sadly. "We found him like this, he was semi-conscious. Said something about Avery."

Marlene stood up, "Avery did this?" She growled. "Right," she grabbed her wand from the sofa and made to walk towards the portrait hole but a hand catching hers made her stop and look down.

Sirius had a tight grip on her hand and was staring up at her. "Don't," he said quietly. "It's what he wants."

Marlene stared at him, as did everyone else.

"What?"

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	16. Chapter 16 - Whilst We're Still Standing

**A/N I quite enjoyed writing this, it almost satisfied me as much as the reviews you guys have been giving me, you know who you are and have my thanks :)**

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**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 16: Whilst We're Still Standing

_"All these accidents that happen_

_Follow the dart._

_Coincidence makes sense _

_Only with you._

_You don't have to speak, _

_I feel Emotional."_

_\- Joga, Björk_

* * *

The group of them were silent as the grave as they sat around the fire that evening. No one spoke a word as it seemed that nobody wanted to be the one to break the tense silence.

Lily sat in her chair in front of the table and tried to concentrate on her work but just couldn't find the will to do so. Sirius had been attacked, and it wasn't just a small duel in the corridor either; he'd been lucky the boys found him when they did. From what she'd found out from Dorcas, they had found him semi-conscious, muttering about Avery. Lily's blood ran cold when she thought of the beating he must have had at Avery's hands. Avery, who was twice the size of Sirius in width and could easily injure him badly without a wand. She knew, as did everyone, that if Sirius hadn't been caught unawares he could've easily out-magicked the Slytherin but Sirius had been caught off his guard. Lily wandered if Severus had known, and was in on it. She rarely thought of her old friend nowadays but she thought of him then. Lily remembered that a couple of years ago Severus had stood up for Marlene when she'd been at the receiving end of Bellatrix Black's taunting, but Lily also knew that that Severus was probably long gone now. He had changed so much in the past year, she no longer knew him.

"What's fluffy and comes in colours of pink, purple and mauve, 9 letters?" Remus's voice from opposite her made her jump and she looked up at him. Everyone was staring at him in confusion but Remus was just staring down at the newspaper crossword in his lap, pencil twirling around his fingers deftly.

"Pygmy Puff." Sirius cracked a grin. "Seriously Moons, you're supposed to be the intelligent one."

Pig-me-puff.." Remus said slowly, etching in the letters as he said them. "Thank you."

James shifted uncomfortably in his seat and Lily thought that she hadn't seen him look so on edge since Marlene had been taken. "Are we going to talk about what happened or not?"

"No," Marlene scowled. She was sitting on the floor leaning against Sirius's legs and had been glaring at the patch of carpet in front of her for the past twenty minutes. Now however, her glare had lifted and was directed at her surrogate brother.

"But -"

"I don't want to talk about it James, if Avery wants to get back at me for something then he can bloody well try without beating up my boyfriend."

Sirius, who had been sitting with his head leaning to one side, his eyes closed, opened one and surveyed her. "Lena I'm fine -"

"That's not the point!" Marlene snapped turning to face him.

Sirius sat up, "so what is your point Marlene? Should I go running to a teacher?" He folded his arms and shook his head, "I can look after myself."

Marlene frowned at him. "Sure Sirius, you can look after yourself - you did a great job of that earlier."

Sirius stood up, glaring down at her. Marlene glared back at him.

"I'm going to bed," he growled, moving past her towards the boys dormitories. Lily could practically see the dark thundercloud over his head.

Marlene had returned to glaring at the fire and Lily exchanged a tentative look with Dorcas who shrugged. They both knew that Sirius and Marlene's tempers sometimes clashed but they hadn't argued once since they'd started going out and to be honest, Lily had found the change refreshing and she always found comfort in the fact that they could both mature enough to stop with the petty arguments. That didn't seem to have lasted long though.

James was looking like he wanted to say something and Lily could see Remus sending him warning looks. Unfortunately his whole attention was so focused on James, he wasn't watching Dorcas who blurted out - almost like she couldn't help herself; "I don't think I've ever seen Black look so annoyed."

Marlene stood up abruptly and spun on her heel, not even announcing her departure, just going.

James rounded on Dorcas. "Why did you say that?!" He shot at her.

Dorcas glared back, "oh come on! They're both behaving like children!"

"Dorcas," Lily said quietly but her friend either didn't hear her, or chose to ignore her.

"And I don't think you have any right to glare at me like that Potter, you didn't exactly say anything to stop them!" Dorcas snapped, folding her arms across her chest stubbornly.

"You just couldn't keep your mouth shut could you?" James growled. "Now Marlene's upset, and I can't deal with them having a fallout in the middle of all this bullshit!"

"James," Remus tried calmly, looking at Lily and Peter for support.

Dorcas stood up and James copied her actions, glaring down at her. She was tiny compared to him but she didn't look in the slightest bit intimidated.

"It's all about you Potter, isn't it?" Dorcas said angrily. "Stop being a fucking mother hen!"

Lily shot up from her seat as James opened his mouth. Her homework slid to the floor, unnoticed. "Stop it!" She snapped. "Both of you, sit down!"

Both James and Dorcas broke eye contact to stare at her. Lily met both their gazes unflinchingly. "Sit. Down." She ground out through tight teeth and to her surprise, they both retreated back to their seats.

"We can't argue with each other," Lily said, relaxing slightly when she saw that Remus had been prepared to jump on James and, from the looks of the way he was carefully watching his friend, wrestle him to the floor. "We can't afford to fall apart now," Lily said trying her best to fix Dorcas with a stare. Dorcas had the good grace to look away, abashed.

James sighed. "You're right," he muttered. "We've got to stick together," he shot daggers at Dorcas with those last words which she returned with equal enthusiasm.

Remus gave him a look and James straightened his face out into an indifferent expression, shrugged and turned away from Dorcas with a finality that put an end to the aggression.

Lily cleared her throat and Dorcas relaxed, her stiff posture sinking back into the chair.

Peter, now that the tension had deceased slightly, visibly breathed out and looked around at them all. "So what are we going to do?" He questioned at large.

"We could strike back?" James suggested after a moment.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him and Remus shook his head, "we can't use violence."

"No, I meant in the old fashioned way, like we used to."

Lily felt like she was missing something, especially as Remus was now starting to smile and nod along with his friend. "What do you mean?" She asked cautiously.

"A good old fashioned prank," James said grinning. "We haven't done anything big in ages, it'll be the perfect way to humiliate them without resorting to violence."

Dorcas was smiling, seeming to forget all hostile feelings towards James from before and leaning in towards them. "Am I going to witness the makings of a marauder prank plan?"

James hesitated before including her in his grin, "breathe it in Meadowes, you'll have never witnessed anything like it before."

Lily pursed her lips to stop herself smiling, knowing full well that Dorcas had always wanted to be part of a marauder prank. Lily also knew that it wasn't her ground of expertise so she would probably stay back and watch from the sidelines. She picked her book up off the floor and closed it carefully. "I'm going to head up then while you lot wile away the night hours," she glanced at James and met his eyes. "I'll check on Marls, make sure she's okay."

He sent her a grateful look and nodded before returning to the piece of parchment Remus was sketching out a plan on.

Lily lingered for a second longer, watching them all. Having a distraction seemed to be the best thing for all of them, keeping their minds busy and away from the lingering threat outside the walls of the common room.

* * *

Marlene was sitting in the dormitory, cross-legged on her bed in her Bambi pyjamas which she wore only when she was feeling upset or vulnerable. Lily had shown her the movie years ago and Marlene had cried her eyes out over it, one of the only things she cried about were books or movies. Something about characters captured Marlene's attention and she loved to live their lives with them. And of course, Bambi reminded her of James and she got emotional every time she watched it.

"Marls, you alright?" Lily's soft voice drifted across the room. Marlene turned to look at her best friend and nodded but she knew her eyes betrayed her because Lily smiled sadly and climbed onto Marlene's bed, curling up like a cat beside her and looking up. "You're not alright, and I know it so don't lie."

Marlene sighed. "I know why Avery wants to get back at me," she said quietly. "My brother Jon arrested Avery's father the other night."

Lily frowned, "why didn't you say earlier?"

"I forgot," Marlene said honestly. "It was stupid but when Sirius came in covered in blood it just drove everything else from my head."

Lily sat up. "That's not stupid," she said with so much conviction that Marlene believed her for a moment. "Are you still angry at him?" Lily asked tentatively.

Marlene sighed. "No," she said slowly. "He just infuriates me sometimes." She didn't want to tell Lily the real reason. She didn't want to tell anyone the real reason but she should've known that Lily would guess there was more to this story that what met the eye.

"What is it Marlene? Is it something to do with him?" Lily was giving her that green-eyed look that Marlene knew could see through any lie.

She rubbed a cold hand over her face and shook her head. "I do like him Lil - a lot. But..." She trailed off, not being able to find the right words.

"But?" Lily asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear like she always did when nervous.

"But I never know if I can trust him," Marlene blurted. "I always feel like he'll get bored and go back to his old ways of just gallivanting around with half the female population of Hogwarts."

Lily sat back and surveyed her for a moment. Marlene waited for the agreement that she was sure Lily would give her, she knew her best friend wasn't Sirius Black's biggest fan.

"I'm going to say something I don't think I've ever said before, and didn't think I ever would," Lily said slowly. "Sirius is a marauder, and the marauders are possibly the most loyal people I know." She sighed and reached over to hold Marlene's hand, squeezing it gently. "Sirius is loyal Marls; to the boys, to you."

"I know that," Marlene said, meeting Lily's eyes and holding the gaze. Then she smiled, trying to convince Lily that she was fine but she knew the smile didn't reach her eyes.

* * *

It was pitch black when Marlene tiptoed past her sleeping dorm mates and out into the corridor, down the steps and into the common room. She looked around, hoping Sirius might be down there, sitting by the fire as he sometimes did, but he wasn't this time. The common room was empty. Marlene sighed and made the journey up towards the boys dormitories, gently opening the door to make sure she didn't wake them and slipping inside quietly. It was dark inside but Marlene could see the outline of all four beds by the light of the moon which intruded through a gap in one of the curtains. Knowing exactly where Sirius slept, she moved towards it, meandering around piles of clothes and boxes filled with endless crap that she didn't want to know about, until she arrived at his bedside. Breathing out the breath she didn't realise she'd been holding, she crawled onto it and lay down next to him.

Sirius was asleep, but at the movement beside him he groaned and rolled over, throwing an arm over her. "Lena?" He mumbled sleepily.

In reply, Marlene just snuggled closer to him and closed her tired eyes.

"What you doing here?" Sirius said groggily but sounding like he was starting to wake up a bit. "Did you have another nightmare?"

Marlene sighed. Her recurring bad dreams were usually the reason she ended up in Sirius's bed in the middle of the night but not this time. "No," she whispered, muffled by the fact that her face was pressed against his chest.

Sirius shifted so her head rested on his arm and he lay on his side, almost nose to nose with her. "What's wrong?" He whispered.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier," Marlene bit her lip. She could just see the outline of his face and couldn't see his expression at all. "It was a bitchy thing to say."

There was a heavy silence as she waited for him to reply. Then he lifted his hand to her face and cupped her cheek gently.

"It's alright," Sirius said. "I don't exactly blame you."

"Why not?" Marlene asked. "If it weren't for the fact we're going out, Avery probably would've left you alone."

She felt Sirius shrug. "So what?" He asked. "Doesn't mean I wouldn't have ended up getting in the way eventually and it probably would've been James instead."

"So does that mean you forgive me?"

Sirius's quiet laughter reverberated through her as he chuckled. "Lena," he said, moving closer so she could feel his breath on her lips. "There is nothing to forgive." He kissed her, lightly at first but but it grew in strength and hotness as Marlene wrapped her arms around his neck and bit his bottom lip gently, causing him to open his mouth. She allowed herself to float away on the tide of sensations that ran through her whenever Sirius kissed her like this, forgetting for a short time, the doubts that crept in the back of her mind.

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	17. Chapter 17 - The First Casualties of War

**A/N I'm sorry for the wait for this chapter, I had a bit of a brain block but that's over now so enjoy... Again, thank you to all the lovely reviewers - you're all brilliant!**

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* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 17: The First Casualties of a War

_"The ceiling is moving_

_Moving in time  
Like a conveyor belt  
Above my eyes_

_When under ether  
The mind comes alive  
But conscious of nothing  
But the will to survive"_

_\- PJ Harvey_

* * *

James had woken up bright and early. He'd had a bit of a restless night due to the fact that his mind had kept turning over the details of this prank that he, Remus, Peter and Dorcas had began to plan the night before. It was a tricky one, but if successful, would seriously humiliate several Slytherins and hopefully go down in history as one of the best pranks the marauders had ever pulled.

James smiled slightly at the thought, relishing in the predictable glory that would await them from all the other houses if they got it right. He had a big ego, he'd be the first one to admit it but nowadays it was definitely toned down drastically and James thought that was probably the best thing if he was to maintain a healthy friendship with Lily.

Getting up, James glanced over at Sirius's bed and saw Marlene lying there as well. She had her face tucked into the crook of Sirius's shoulder and he had one arm thrown over her waist. He watched as Sirius tightened his grip on Marlene's waist as unconsciously pulled her closer. James was just glad the pair of them had obviously made up again after their little tiff the night before. Turning away, he made his way down stairs and into the comwait mon room. He hadn't thought anyone would be down there, considering it was so early so he was a little surprised to see Alice Prewett sitting by the fire on her own, with out the usual company of her boyfriend, Frank.

James dithered in the doorway when he spotted her. None of them had really spoken to Alice since Marlene's capture and Mary's death. All James knew was that she had been closer to Mary than anyone had and grieved for her while the other girls had been focused on getting Marlene back. Since then, Alice seemed to have been avoiding them slightly, preferring to spend her time with her boyfriend or her Ravenclaw friends like Emmaline Vance whom Dorcas seemed to thoroughly dislike. James wasn't sure, but Lily had told him that they suspected Alice felt a little resentful that Marlene had lived and Mary had died. James suddenly felt his heart go out to the girl, he couldn't ever imagine how he'd feel if one of the boys had been in Mary's place and had died. He knew he'd be angry at the entire world.

So that was why James sat down in a seat next to Alice and opened the newspaper that had been left on the coffee table in front of him. He didn't say anything for ages but he could feel Alice looking at him. In the end, it was her that broke the silence.

"Potter, you know that's yesterday's paper right?"

James flipped the cover around to look at the date. "Oh yes, so it is," he said cheerfully. "How silly of me."

Alice seemed to be amused by him which James thought was a step in the right direction. He looked at her, face turning serious. "You okay?" He asked quietly.

Alice swallowed, sensing the meaningfulness of the question. "I'm fine," she said but she didn't look at him.

"You know," James said gently, "when people say they're 'fine', it usually means the opposite."

This time Alice did look at him. "What do you want?"

James sighed and slumped back into his chair. "I want you to know you're not alone Alice," he said. "Us Gryffindors have to stick together in times of crisis -"

"Crisis?" Alice asked and something dangerous lingered in her voice. "This isn't just about some bloody Slytherins wanting to get back at Marlene's brother! My best friend died because she's a muggleborn!"

James opened his mouth to say something but Alice wasn't finished. "I barely spoke to her for weeks before she was killed and do you know why?"

James was silent as he shook his head.

"Because Dorcas and Marlene were annoyed with her," Alice snapped. "Mary wasn't a bitch," she said, quieter this time. "She was just one of those people who like attention - a but like you and Black really."

James wasn't quite sure what to say to this over-emotional Alice but she still wasn't finished talking.

"None of you came to her funeral!" And this time, Alice's voice caught with a sob. "None of you cared enough because all you lot could think about was Marlene, so don't give me that bullshit about 'us Gryffindors sticking together,' because if that's the case, where the hell were you all when someone from _our house, our friend_, was getting buried?!"

At that, James couldn't help himself. "Marlene was alive Alice, what did you expect us to do?"

Alice's face crumpled. "I just...I just miss her so much."

James moved over so he could wrap his arm around her shoulders and give her a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"I feel so guilty because I'm glad that Marlene's safe but I just couldn't look at her for ages afterwards and now I think it's just too late," Alice muttered. "I fucked it up all on my own when Marlene didn't even do anything, she was just the one who didn't get killed."

"You haven't fucked it up."

James heard the words spoken before he could even open his mouth to say them himself. Alice jumped and moved away from him to look over the top of the sofa. Standing at the foot of the stairs to the boys dormitories was Marlene, dressed in pyjamas with her curly hair a tangled mess. She looked tired with dark circles under her eyes and she looked so sad, it hurt James's heart to look at her. "You haven't fucked anything up Al."

Alice stood up shakily and took a step towards her friend.

James watched curiously as Marlene smiled sadly and walked towards Alice, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her into a fierce hug. Alice gasped and clung onto her just as tightly, if not more.

"I'm sorry Marley," she mumbled, just loud enough for James to hear as he saw her small frame begin to shake in Marlene's arms. Marlene squeezed her eyes shut and visibly breathed out. "It's okay Al, it's okay."

James saw Remus walk down the stairs behind Marlene and pause when he took in the scene in first of him. He smiled to himself in what James thought might be relief at seeing the two girls clinging together in the middle of the common room.

"I just miss her so much," Alice said into Marlene's shoulder.

A tear slipped down Marlene's cheek and she said quietly, "so do I."

* * *

Dorcas was surprised to see Alice sitting in between Lily and Marlene when she came in for breakfast that morning. Pleasantly surprised, but surprised all the same. She grinned widely at her friends and shouted loudly, "Al you made it!"

Alice rolled her eyes as Dorcas swallowed her up in a hug. Dorcas was little, but Alice was petite so it was easy to engulf her friend. "You're so dramatic Doe," Alice grumbled as she squirmed out of her friend's grasp and sat back down at the table.

Dorcas sat down next to Remus in her usual seat and piled her plate with eggs and bacon. "Where's Black at?" She asked the table at large, looking around at anyone who could give her an answer. Remus and James both shrugged and Marlene glanced around, as if only just realising he wasn't there. Dorcas sighed and shrugged, stuffing a slice of bacon into her mouth and losing interest. Her interest was rekindled when Sirius Black himself came hurrying into the Great Hall looking throughly put out, a nervous Peter panting to keep up with him.

"Filch has got the map!" He hissed at James and Remus as soon as he'd sat down. He looked more frazzled than Dorcas had ever seen him usually so clam and collected with the hint of arrogance about him, he now looked worried and annoyed.

"WHAT?!" James and Remus both shrieked. Dorcas could've sworn James hit several octaves higher.

Dorcas frowned in confusion at their reactions, she had no idea what was going on and, judging by the unbothered expressions on Lily and Alice's faces, they didn't either. Marlene however seemed to realise what they were talking about because she raised an eyebrow and said suspiciously, "how in Merlin's name did Filch get it?"

Sirius looked too upset to form words so Peter looked around and said sadly, "he confiscated it off us."

"But...what...how?" James spluttered while Remus looked at Peter like he'd just told him his guitar had been smashed up.

"We were down in the dungeons preparing the last checks for the prank," Sirius said, looking like he still couldn't believe what he was saying. "Filch comes up to us and Pete just manages to wipe the map when Filch gets super suspicious and grabs it... He's stored it in his office, probably has no idea what it is."

James let out a groan of frustration at Sirius's words and slammed his head down onto the table, narrowly avoiding his plate of food.

"What is this map?" Lily asked warily like she wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer.

None of the marauders replied so Marlene said quietly, "it's a map of Hogwarts but it shows where everyone in the castle is at that exact moment. It's how they manage to sneak around all the time without getting caught."

Lily looked shocked. "Where did you get it?" She asked curiously.

James groaned and lifted his head, "we made it in fourth year - took us forever to complete it!"

Dorcas had to admit she was impressed. A map that showed where everyone in the castle was? That was a handy thing to have.

"I can't believe this," Sirius moaned, slamming his is head down next to James's - Marlene had to quickly move the pot of honey out of the way. "I feel like we've lost a part of ourselves."

Dorcas rolled her eyes. They were going to start talking in plural again. All the marauders seemed to do this when they were upset but none so much as James and Sirius who seemed to consider it a sense of group identity. This time though, judging by the looks of equal misery on Remus and Peter's faces, speaking in plural seemed accurate of their group depression.

Marlene however, was not having any of it. "I don't know why you're all looking so miserable," she said lightly. "It's not the end of the world."

Four pairs of eyes stared at her incredulously and she hastened to explain herself. "You can easily sneak into Filch's office and steal it back, I doubt he'd even notice, after all it only looks like a piece of parchment."

"I thought you said it was a map?" Alice asked, looking bemused by the whole situation.

"It does," Remus said. He seemed to have perked up at Marlene's suggestion.

James shook his head, "you're forgetting one thing Mars," he said glumly. "Without the map we don't know where Filch is so sneaking into his office is very risky."

Marlene looked like she was going to die of exasperation as she looked at all the marauders. "You have a fucking invisibility cloak!" She hissed so others along the table wouldn't hear her. "Cause a distraction and use that for God's sake!"

Sirius seemed to cheer up instantly at this. "Lena, you're a fucking genius!"

Marlene rolled her eyes again at that. "Not difficult when you're surrounded by a bunch of morons," she muttered but she smiled as Sirius grinned triumphantly at James.

"Hold in a moment," Lily said, holding up a hand. "You have an invisibility cloak?" She directed at James.

Dorcas's laugh of amusement at the look on James's face was cut off as someone shrieked loudly at the other end of the table and chaos ensued. Something flew past Dorcas's head and with a resounding crack, the entire Gryffindor table split in half, splinters flying everywhere. Dorcas was pushed sideways and onto the floor by Remus as one half of the table was lifted into the air and thrown against the wall with a crash. Students were screaming, teachers were yelling at the tops of their voices and Dorcas couldn't hear anything other than the furious beating of her heart and Remus's breath in her ear.

"Stay down," he hissed. "Looks like a rouge Thestral."

Dorcas looked up to see teachers rallying about an area that Dorcas couldn't see. Suddenly she let out an audible gasp as Flitwick went flying backwards though the air as if he'd been kicked across the room.

"Pete!" James shouted over the din and Remus released her to scramble towards his friend, Dorcas following. Peter was clutching his leg witch had an inch wide splinter sticking out of it. He was shaking and didn't seem to want to look at it.

All the marauders were crowded around their friend but Lily wrestled her way through with Alice. While Dorcas felt a little queasy at the blood coming out of Peter's leg, Lily took action straight away. "We need to get him to the hospital wing, and use something to plug up the bleeding."

"That's a lot of blood," Alice said nervously. "Potter, give me your jumper."

James quickly pulled his jumper over his head and passed it to Alice who wound it up and looked Peter right in the eye. "This is going to hurt," she told him quietly.

Peter just bit his lip against the pain and nodded, looking away.

"Shouldn't we wait -" Remus started when he guessed what Alice was about to do but it was too late. Alice grabbed the splinter and pulled it out, quickly pressing James's jumper against the fresh wound and tying it around Peter's leg tightly.

Peter had tears of pain running down his cheeks and his eyes were squeezed shut.

"My mum is a Healer in St. Mungos," Alice said to an awestruck Remus, James and Sirius. "We can move him now without it being too painful for him, but he'll need to be carried."

At that moment, Dorcas heard "POTTER!" Yelled across the Great Hall. She looked over to see several teachers along with Hagrid trying to control the invisible beast and Professor McGonagall bearing down on them all, looking furious.

James had looked up just in time as well and he deflated at the dangerous expression on the face of their head of house.

"Potter, you're coming with me to the headmaster's office right now!" She snapped. "You too Black, Lupin, Petti -" she stopped when she caught sight of Peter lying next to Alice, covered in blood. Dorcas had never seen McGonagall look so shocked as she did then.

"What happened?" She asked, bending down to assess the new situation.

"He got stabbed by a splinter," Alice informed her.

McGonagall looked up at the boys whose expressions ranged from freaked out to worried glances at their friend. "This wasn't your doing?" She asked, tone still slightly suspicious.

Sirius and Remus shook their heads and James gave a half-hearted smile. "Believe me Professor, if this was us, it wouldn't be the Gryffindor table taking it."

McGonagall's head shot upwards towards the Slytherins. She sighed, "I believe you," she said after a moment. "Further investigation will proceed following this." She looked down at Peter, "best get him to the hospital wing."

* * *

The Great Hall was barred to the students for the rest of the morning. James, who'd been hoping to get out and play Quidditch was sorely disappointed when Gideon came up to tell them that practice had been cancelled as Thomas Dowling, the team's Keeper, had been confined to the hospital wing after being hit by one of the jugs at breakfast and getting concussed.

"But we can practice without a Keeper!" James protested when Gideon had come to tell him, Sirius and Marlene. "Why can't we just do physical training instead?"

Gideon looked ready to keel over on the spot as he shrugged. "To be honest James I'm just not really feeling up to it right now," he said. "We'll restart as soon as Dowling gets out of the hospital wing."

James opened his mouth to argue more with the Captain but Sirius clapped a hand on his shoulder, "just leave it Prongs."

Scowling, James threw himself down into a chair as Gideon strode away, looking irritable. "I really wanted to go flying," he grumbled.

"Well I fancy a walk," Sirius said suddenly. He glanced at Marlene, "you coming?"

Marlene grinned and took his offered hand, linking their fingers together and following him out of the common room, leaving James to his brooding thoughts about the lack of Quidditch. After a while, he got distracted by Remus trying to teach Lily how to play chess. Remus was a patient teacher but James saw with amusement that he was getting silently exasperated at Lily's lack of understanding for the game.

"But if you can't move the Bishop there, it's checkmate," Remus was saying to her while Dorcas looked on, laughing whenever Lily made a dumb move.

The redhead was frowning at the board in annoyance. "But that... I can't move anywhere else."

"Yes because you've just moved right into checkmate, that means I've won the game."

"I know what checkmate means!"

"Fine, reverse that move and move your Queen...there."

Lily's frown, if anything got deeper. "But that means you can take my Queen."

Remus flung his arms up into the air and Dorcas slid sideways in her seat, overcome with giggles.

"Lily, Pawns can't move that far, you're safe," James said, joining the conversation.

Lily scowled and looked down at the board. "It's a stupid game anyway," she said, pushing it towards Remus, obviously having had enough. "And you shouldn't laugh at me Dorcas," she added at her friend who was rolling around in her seat. "Remember what happened when we played tennis last year?"

That sobered Dorcas up and she scowled at Lily as James said curiously, "what's tennis?"

While Lily explained to him exactly what tennis was, James took the time to just study her face, alight with passion as she described the rules of the game to him. He knew he shouldn't still like her after all this time but James couldn't seemed to prevent him from falling for her a little bit more every time he saw her like this. He barely heard her words, he just saw the way the light streaming through the window made her long red hair shine and her green eyes become greener, if that was possible. Maybe it was just him but Lily Evans never seemed as beautiful to him than when she was talking about something she had a passion for. He'd listen to her talk about class work for hours if he had to, just to see her look like this. He wished more than anything he could tell her this, but all that came out of his mouth was, "Quidditch is better."

Which caused her eyes to narrow at him and him to laugh at her reaction, the miseries of the world forgotten for a moment.

**Again, thank you for all your support and REMEMBER: 5 reviews, don't leave it to other people - it doesn't work like that! Plus I can see how many people are reading it compared to the review count ;)**


	18. Chapter 18 - Troubles of Yesterday

**A/N Thank you for all the lovely reviews and I'm sorry for what I'm about to do...**

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**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 18: Troubles of Yesterday

_"If I talk real slowly, if I try real hard_

_To make my point clear, that you have my heart._

_Here I go, I'll tell you what you already know._

_If you love me, with all of your heart._

_If you love me, I'll make you a star in my universe._

_You'll never have to go to work._

_You'll spend every day, shining your light my way."_

_\- For You, Angus &amp; Julia Stone_

* * *

Alice trailed behind her fellow Hebology students out of the greenhouses as the bell rang to signal the end of class and Alice prepared to make her way down the slippy hill towards Care of Magical Creatures.

"I'll see you later!" Lily called over her shoulder as she raced after Remus, the pair had Arithmancy next and they needed to hurry since it was on the seventh floor.

Alice sent her a wave at her retreating back and smiled to herself. It was so much nicer having her friends back, she felt safer in the knowledge that, although Mary was gone, she still had Marlene, Dorcas and Lily. That, as well as the marauders who were very good to have around in times of need. Whenever she needed cheering up, she could always count on them. James seemed to have taken the idea that 'Gryffindors need to stick together' quite literally and it felt good to know she could rely on others as well as her boyfriend. Frank was nearing his NEWTs so their time together was becoming limited.

Alice was early when she arrived at the spot where most of the lessons took place, next to a wooden pen which today, had two unicorn foals in it. There were only a few other people there and most were gathered around the pen, petting the unicorns with looks of awe on their faces. Alice grinned, she didn't understand why people didn't like Care of Magical Creatures. It was a brilliant subject when taught well.

That's when she heard the voice of Cecilia Glover and her group of Slytherins who were standing a few feet away, huddled together.

"No wonder Black moved on fast, I know his little brother keeps saying he's not on his family's side anymore but how else would he have known?"

"But I heard he was secretly dating McKinnon for months before they became public -"

"Oh come off it Hattie!" Cecilia cackled. "If that was the case, why would he have snogged McDonald days before she died? Anyway, we all know Black is the biggest blood-traitor in Hogwarts, even if he knew about the attack or not, shagging McDonald was the stupidest thing he could've done."

Alice froze where she stood, they didn't seem to notice her, too intent on gossiping to realise that she was standing feet away from them.

"So Regulus told Sirius about the attack on Hogsmead?" Heather Greengrass said waspishly. "If so, why didn't he tell his friends? I mean, it was McKinnon who was taken - that's his girlfriend!"

Cecilia rolled her eyes and said in an exasperated voice, "don't listen to Hattie, McKinnon and Black have only been dating since this term started, even if they were, he was cheating on McKinnon with McDonald. Anyway, what does it matter anymore? They're blood-traitors the lot of them! I even heard that the Death Eaters who captured McKinnon carved that into the skin on her collar but who knows if that's true."

Alice didn't listen to any more. As Heather let out a nervous laugh and Hattie pulled a face, Alice spun around and headed back towards the castle. She never bunked off classes but there's a first for everything. She needed to find Frank in his free period and tell him what she'd just heard. She needed to work out whether she should tell Marlene and the other girls what she'd just heard.

* * *

"I simply can't accept this!" James paced up and down in front of them. "This is not something I can accept!"

Sirius sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Well you're gonna have to Prongs, it's gone."

"But...it can't!" James spluttered helplessly. "We were gonna give it to our kids when they came up to Hogwarts and...any they were going to follow in our footsteps. It's our legacy Padfoot!"

Sirius knew he'd never seen James look so crestfallen before. "I'm sorry mate," he said sadly. "I looked everywhere I could think he might have hidden it."

James sighed and shook his head, "it's not your fault Padfoot," he muttered. "It was bloody bad luck that's what it was."

"We've still got the invisibility cloak," Remus spoke up from the corner. "Maybe we should just lie low for a bit. Filch obviously guessed we'd try to get it back so he hid it well. Why don't we just let it blow over then surprise attack him."

"Moony's right guys," Peter said. "We've still got over a year left, we'll get it back after the summer."

James stared around at all his friends painfully. "Alright," he said finally. "We'll try again in September."

Sirius sighed with regret then lifted his head to look across the room. "Hey, why aren't the girls sitting with us?"

James spun around to look behind him at Lily, Marlene, Alice and Dorcas sitting around a table with their heads close together. Alice was talking quickly and quietly to them but it was their facial expressions that made Sirius curious. Dorcas was looking pissed, Lily upset and Marlene was staring at Alice like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Sirius saw her said quietly, "are you sure?" Not being able to hear her, but able to read her lips instead. Alice nodded and just like that, all four girls turned to stare at them, or him - Sirius couldn't really tell because James was sitting in his line of sight.

Marlene stood up abruptly and walked up the stairs to the girls dormitory.

"Well that was weird..." Remus said quietly. Sirius realised that both him and Peter had been watching as well.

"Very weird," James said, slowing turning back to face the other boys as Sirius watched Lily, Dorcas and Alice get to their feet quickly and follow their Marlene. "I wonder what's up with them." Then he shrugged, "women, there's no clues as to what they'll do next..."

Sirius exchanged a look with Remus as Peter chuckled slightly. "Don't let Lily hear you say anything like that," he said.

"I won't," James said lightly.

* * *

"Marlene, you can't seriously be saying you think that's true?" Dorcas growled. Marlene could feel all their gazes on her as she walked up and down the room. "Cecilia Glover is a renowned bitch and a Slytherin one at that. Don't pay any thought to what they said."

"But what if it is true?" Marlene said, biting down on her nails. "I need to know whether he knew about the attack on Hogsmead."

"Marlene," Lily said sternly. "Don't act brashly, Glover was probably just trying to shit stir, you know what she's like."

Marlene heard Alice clear her throat nervously, "well, er - they didn't know I was even listening..." She trailed off when Marlene let out a wail of frustration and sat down on her bed.

"I'm sure it was nothing Marley, I shouldn't have said anything," Alice said hurriedly.

Marlene's head shot up and she looked right at Alice. "Did you know that he snogged Mary?"

Alice bit her lip and shook her head, "no, Mary didn't tell me."

Lily sighed with frustration, "what does it matter?" She practically yelled, causing Dorcas, who was sitting next to her, to wince. "So what if Sirius snogged Mary, that was before you were going out with him Marlene!"

Marlene felt her heart sink as she looked at Alice. That wasn't what was worrying her. "But if Regulus did tell him about the attack," she said quietly. "Why didn't he tell anyone?"

Lily had no answer to this but Dorcas shook her head, "you can't jump to conclusions just yet Marls, it might be a load of bullshit."

"But what if it isn't?" Marlene asked desperately. She felt incredibly vulnerable and confused. "He should know how much that information would affect me, why didn't he tell anyone?"

"Boys have memories like sives remember Mars," Lily said, but even she was starting to sound uncertain.

"Mars," Alice began timidly. "Cecilia mentioned something else, about your collarbone..."

Marlene froze and her eyes widened. "What?"

"She said... She said when you were captured they...did something." Alice trailed off again at the tears brimming in Marlene's eyes.

"I don't want you guys to know," she whispered. "I thought it would just heal."

Dorcas and Lily exchanged frightened looks. "What do you mean Mars?" Lily asked cautiously.

Marlene let out a shaky breath and without looking at them, unbuttoned the top three buttons on her shirt, loosened her tie and pulled her shirt down to reveal the skin just below her collarbone.

Lily and Dorcas gasped. The cuts were only just beginning to scar over, even after all this time and the words that were carved into her skin were prominent. Marlene buttoned her shirt up again and refused to look at her friends, embarrassment and shame clear on her face.

"Marlene, who did that to you?" Lily whispered.

Marlene didn't look at her but said in a quiet voice, "Bellatrix Black."

"Sirius's cousin?" Dorcas spoke up. "I remember her when she was at Hogwarts - nasty piece of work."

Marlene was silent.

"How did Cecilia know?" Alice asked nervously. Marlene's head shot up to look at her friend in shock.

"What?" Dorcas growled, standing up looking furious. "That cow, I'm gonna -"

Lily grabbed her arm and held her back, "sit down Doe."

Dorcas scowled and sat.

"That doesn't really matter I suppose," Marlene said bitterly, "I'm sure there's plenty of wannabe Death Eaters in this school who loved telling that story." She took a deep breath, "what I want to know is why they seemed to think Sirius knew about that attack."

Lily shook her head, "I think we should wait till tomorrow Marls, we're all exhausted. Sleep on it and you might feel better in the morning."

"I love you're optimism Lily," Dorcas grumbled.

"She's right though," Alice said, she looked sadly at her friend. "And about the Mary thing, it's in the past, Mars, let it stay there."

Marlene looked torn and she looked between her best friends for guidance. Lily and Alice both nodded reassuringly at her and Dorcas just fumed quietly. She nodded and both Alice and Lily relaxed a bit and looked at each other.

"I think we should call it a night," Lily said quietly and she was met with nods of silent agreement.

They all got changed and got ready for bed, none of them saying a word. It wasn't until they were all in bed with their lights turned off that Dorcas spoke up quietly. "If you're right, and Black did know about the attack prior to everyone else, I will gladly beat him to death, alright Marls?"

Marlene let her lips curve upwards in a sad smile before saying softly, "you've got yourself a deal."

* * *

"Is it just me, or are they all behaving extremely odd?" Remus whispered to Peter at breakfast. He looked at all four girls who for some reason, hadn't said a word to any of the marauders all morning.

Peter eyed them cautiously, "I thought I might have been the only one to think it," he muttered back to his friend and the two of them looked up to see Sirius ask Dorcas to pass the coffee, only for Dorcas to shoot him an angry look and slam the coffee pot down in front of him without saying a word. Sirius looked utterly bewildered but let it rest, casting a nervous glance in the direction of his girlfriend who refused to look up in his direction.

James raised an eyebrow at Lily when he caught her eye but she appeared nervous and looked away from him, nearly upsetting the jug of pumpkin juice in her haste to distract herself from what was going on.

Remus was becoming more and more confused by the second and he narrowed his eyes, standing up abruptly so the bench scraped back making a rather unpleasant noise against the floor. "Dorcas could I have a word," he said, staring at her. Whatever was going on, he knew she knew what it was.

Dorcas's eyes rose to meet his and she sighed, "fine, I've got ten minutes before I need to go to Ancient Runes." She turned to Marlene, "I'll see you in a bit."

Marlene nodded distractedly and Remus turned and walked out of the Great Hall, Dorcas following him closely.

"What's going on?" Remus asked, spinning around so abruptly that she almost walked into him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Dorcas said mechanically.

Remus flooded his arms and stared her down, "don't give me that rubbish Dorcas, what is wrong with all of you this morning. What has happened?"

Dorcas stared at him for a long moment and Remus held her gaze, staring back at her, determined to get the information he needed. Finally she slumped, "we heard something about Sirius, something that didn't exactly illuminate his better qualities."

"It's a lie," Remus said, instantly firing up in defence of his friend. "Whatever gossip you've heard, it's rubbish."

Dorcas sighed and rubbed her arms, not looking at him. "Alice heard some Slytherins talking the other day, they were saying he snogged Mary a couple of days before she died."

Remus blinked, "that's what this is about?" He asked incredulously. "That he kissed someone before he even started going out with Marlene?"

Dorcas hesitated, "well no..." She trailed off and Remus breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth to calm himself down. "That's not the problem see.."

"Well what?"

"Apparently Regulus told Sirius about the attack on Hogsmead. If Sirius supposedly knew, why wouldn't he say anything?" Dorcas shook her head, "Marlene's been freaking out about it - do you know what they did to her?"

"No," Remus admitted. "But if Sirius did know, there will be a valid explanation, there has to be."

"Mary died!" Dorcas snapped, suddenly rounding on him with an intensity that shocked Remus into speechlessness. "Marlene has been scarred for life by it! If I find out that Black had any inkling about that attack on Hogsmead, I swear I'll -"

But what she would do, Remus didn't find out because at the moment, Peter came racing around the corner. He stopped when he saw them and bent over breathless. "Remus, come quick!"

"What's happened?" Remus asked urgently.

Peter stood up straighter and fixed him with a look that told Remus all he needed to know: that shit just hit the fan.

"It's Sirius," Peter said and now he looked at Dorcas and said slowly, accusingly. "Marlene has split up with him."

**I apologise again :( **

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews, don't leave it to other people - it doesn't work like that! **


	19. Chapter 19 - In Need of a Miracle

**A/N I felt super guilty so here's the next chapter, I'm sorry guys:(**

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**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 19: In Need of a Miracle 

_"I don't know who you are,  
_

_And I don't know where you've been._

_Always out on your own,_

_Always down on your knees._

_Now you know I need a miracle _

_A star crossed lover, an arrow in my heart._

_I need a rainy day in an endless summer, a pocket full of stars."_

_\- Pocket Full of Stars, Nine Black Alps._

* * *

"I'm not saying this is your fault Padfoot -"

"But it is, James. Don't you see?" Sirius cut him off. Remus watched as his friend lay on his bed, school forgotten. "She's right, I did know!"

Remus sat down on his bed, his hand coming up to his face. "Sirius..." He trailed off, not sure what to say.

"Let me get this clear," James asked, looking like he felt ill. "You're saying that Regulus hinted that there might be an attack on Hogsmead, and you didn't tell anyone?"

Sirius squeezed his eyes tight shut and nodded. "I thought he was bluffing, he kept trying to make me come home using all sorts of threats, I thought it was just another one of those. By the time I realised I was wrong, what use was it to tell anyone?"

"You could've told us!" James shot. "What happened to us telling each other everything Padfoot?"

Sirius's face darkened. "We're not in third year anymore James, you don't tell me everything tiny thing that happens in your life, don't expect me to!"

"THIS ISN'T JUST SOME INCONSEQUENTIAL THING SIRIUS!" James roared causing Peter to jump a mile in the air and even shocking Remus who said quietly, "James, let's talk about this -"

"No Remus," James snapped, standing up and walking to the door. "I need some space."

Remus bowed his head, letting him go and knowing that he'd come back calmer and more willing to talk.

"Great," Sirius muttered, "so now I've lost a girlfriend and my best friend." He laughed but it was devoid of humour. "If you have anything to say to me Remus, Peter, get it out now and be done with it - I'm not sure my day can get any worse."

"SIRIUS BLACK!" The voice of Dorcas Meadowes yelled up the stairs.

"Oh no," Remus said, "it just got worse." He darted towards the door. "I'll keep her away Pads, you...you just stay there."

Sirius didn't answer.

"This is not how we should deal with this Dorcas," Remus said, closing the door and locking it but not realising how close to their dormitory Dorcas was. He braced himself for the onslaught.

"Open the fucking door Lupin," the brunette growled.

"No," Remus replied. "I'm not letting you near him until you've calmed down. Everyone just needs to calm the fuck down!"

Him swearing might not be a big deal but Remus had noticed the affect it had when a curse word did leave his mouth. It seemed to make people listen. It halted Dorcas that's for sure. She stared at him suspiciously then seemed to realise that he was deadly serious and backed down.

"_He's_ an asshole," she jabbed her finger in the direction of the door.

Remus nodded, "he is, but you're still not allowed in." He sighed and let go of the door handle, looking down at her round face glaring up at him. "Dorcas I can't let you in there because whatever you do to him will be nothing compared to what he's mentally doing to himself. He's cutting himself up right now and I don't think he needs your help."

Dorcas glared for a second longer then retreated. "Fine, but don't think that he's off the hook."

"Oh he's not," Remus assured her. "But let us deal with Sirius. Go and find Marlene, I think this whole thing is ridiculously stupid but check if she's okay."

"She's not," Dorcas snapped defensively. "She won't be alright either because whatever happens, she won't ever be able to forget what they did to her. And _he knew_." She left without another word and Remus breathed out and slumped against the door before he unlocked it and went back outside.

"Bad eh?" Sirius said dully from his bed.

Peter was siting on his own, looking worried.

"Not the best," Remus said slowly. He paused. "What you did Sirius, it was a mistake, and we all make those."

"Yes but it wasn't just a small mistake was it?" Sirius said miserably. "She blamed me, I could see it in her face. She blamed me for all that shit that happened to her." He turned to look at Remus. "How could she do that Remus? How could she think it was my fault?"

"What exactly did she say?" Remus asked nervously.

"Oh she didn't use those words but it wasn't exactly hard to work out," Sirius scoffed and Remus knew what was coming. The self-loathing Sirius was feeling was starting to turn into bitterness towards Marlene.

"Sirius," Remus said gently, "this is just a misunderstanding, if you talk to her -"

"No," Sirius said instantly. "I'm not talking to her." He stood abruptly and shook his head. "I need some air, I'm going out."

"Where exactly?" Remus asked as Sirius strode to the door.

"None of your fucking business!" Came the reply as the door slammed shut.

"What did she say to him?" Remus asked Peter.

Peter shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. After you left, Marlene said she wanted to talk to him and they left but me and James decided it would be best to follow at a safe distance because we were heading over the way they were going anyway. Suddenly Sirius comes tearing around the corner, kicks a wall and almost breaks his foot, I don't think I've ever seen him look so angry."

"No shouting?" Remus asked but Peter shook his head.

"Shit," Remus breathed out slowly. He felt his tense muscles in his neck and looked at sideways at Peter. "We should probably go to second lesson," he muttered but his heart wasn't really in it.

* * *

Lily sat next to Marlene in Potions but neither of them were listening to Slughorn rave about the properties of swingnut juice. She cast a glance behind her to where James was sitting, twirling his quill in his hand and frowning into the distance. He seemed to feel her look because he jolted out of his dream and caught her eye. He looked really sad and tired, Lily knew that no good had come out of Sirius and Marlene breaking up, but she still wanted to maintain some sort of friendship with the marauders, so she sent a small, slightly nervous smile.

James remained still for a few seconds then shot her a sad smile back.

Marlene shifted at Lily's side and Lily turned to face the front again. The air all around them was loaded with unspoken tension that made it very difficult to focus. The bell rang so suddenly that Lily jumped up out of her seat. As they were filing out of the classroom, they heard the whispers.

_"No, she dumped him!"_

_"Sirius Black is single again!"_

_"Marlene and Sirius have broken up!"_

Lily didn't say a word, she just grabbed Marlene's arm and pulled her away from the gawking crowds. "Come on Marls, let's go and get something to eat."

"Lily, could I have a word?" James said, shoving through the students to get to catch up with them. He cast a glance at Marlene and said quietly, "you alright?"

Marlene sighed, "I'm fine James, fucking great."

"Sorry," James said. "Stupid question."

Marlene sighed again and looped her arm through Dorcas's, "see you in a bit Lils," she said and turned to walk away.

Lily caught the look of hurt flash across James's face before it cleared and he looked away from Marlene's retreating back. Lily sighed, "come on," she muttered and tugged on his sleeve until her followed her to the edge of the corridor, full of people jostling their way to the Great Hall. She stopped and turned to face him, letting go of his sleeve. "How's Sirius?"

James looked surprised that she would ask him that but he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't really know, he was refusing to get out of bed when I left him." He paused and said quietly, "Regulus did tell him about the attack, but Sirius thought he was bluffing."

Lily nodded, "I guessed as much." She wiped a hand over her face nervously, "this is so wrong," she muttered.

James nodded in agreement then he bit his lip. "How is Marlene?"

"Hurt," Lily said softly. "But I think she's angry most of all, don't take her attitude to heart."

James smiled humourlessly, "I won't." He paused and pinched the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb as if what he wanted to say was really difficult to get out. "Listen, Lily, Sirius won't be much fun to be around for a while - he's pretty cut up right now and when he's like this, it's not pretty. I think it would be best if they were kept apart for a bit, maybe a week or two, maybe more. I need to assess the situation and deal with him the way he needs to be dealt with..." He trailed off there and looked down at her, carefully judging her expression.

Lily pursed her lips and only with slight hesitation, nodded. "We'll keep Marlene out of his way," she said calmly.

"It doesn't mean I don't want us to be friends!" James blurted. "Because I do but this will have negative effects on all of us and -"

"I know James," Lily said, smiling at him. "Thank you for considering it."

James ran his hand through his hair again and Lily realised with a hint of surprise that a gesture that had one been so hateful to her, she now noticed with a strange fondness.

"Well, I'll see you round then Lily," James said quietly, jerking her out of her thoughts. "Maybe we could study together in the library sometime or something?" He added hopefully.

Lily smiled warmly and nodded, "alright. I'll see you later." She walked away from him feeling his eyes on her back and a thought popped into her head without her permission, but it caused her stomach to give a little jolt of gladness: _James Potter has grown up._

* * *

"We can't find him without the map," Remus said quietly from where he sat, head buried in a book. "If he doesn't want to be found, we won't find him."

James let out a frustrated groan and slumped down in his chair. He stared across the common room at where Lily and Alice were sat at the table, papers and books spread out in front of them. Lily was chewing the end of her quill as she stared at her notes, her red hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was deep in thought.

"Stop staring at her," Remus muttered, not even looking up from his book.

"I wasn't!" James spluttered. "Anyway, how could you even tell?"

Remus chuckled and looked up, "you're too predictable Prongs."

"Please don't say we're gonna have to go back to dealing with you staring at Lily across the room every evening!" Peter groaned. "Those dramatic sighs were getting on my nerves."

James shot him a dirty look. He was just about to reply when Sirius walked into the common room. James let out another groan when he saw his best friend. Sirius looked like he'd tried to drown himself in the lake but that would go down to the fact it was chucking it down with rain outside. The defeated look on his face however, couldn't be because it was raining. He flopped down next to Peter who edged slightly away from him, not looking too keen about getting dripped on.

Remus took out his wand and flicked it in Sirius's direction, muttering the incantation under his breath. Instantly, Sirius's clothes were dry again and he only looked depressed rather than soaking and depressed, which James thought had to be a slight improvement.

He cleared his throat loudly. "Er - Pads," he said, trying to sound sincere and indifferent at the same time. "Um, about this morning -"

"It's fine," Sirius said quickly, cutting him off.

"No I -"

"Don't apologise," Sirius growled. "You were right, I should've told you straight after it happened. I'm sorry."

James paused, letting this sink in, then he stood up and opened his arms. "Hug it out Paddy," he ordered.

Sirius sighed heavily as if this was the worse punishment he could think of but he got up without complaint and James enveloped him in a fierce hug. He could feel Sirius starting to relax into it so James didn't let go of him. It might have looked strange, two seventeen year old boys hugging each other in the middle of the common room, but this was James and Sirius, so everyone just cast a blind eye over it.

"Give her time, Pads." James muttered.

Sirius shook his head, "I've blown it Prongs, there's no point anymore."

James pulled away and jabbed him in the chest, "you do not give up Sirius, if you really do care for her, you will give her time, then try to get her back!"

Sirius shook his head but James wasn't having any of it.

"Sirius, you don't give up on the things you love -"

"I don't love her," Sirius snapped.

James shook his head, "irrelevant. Did I give up on Lily when she turned me down? No."

Remus raised his head, "um Prongs, I dint want to put a spanner in the works but she still hasn't said yes."

"Because I stopped asking," James shot back at the same time as Peter asked what a spanner was.

"Am I the only one who pays attention in Muggle Studies?" Remus asked, looking up to the ceiling as if that held the answers.

"Yes," James, Sirius and Peter said at the same time.

James grinned at Sirius and Sirius's mouth curved upwards. It was a shadow of his usual arrogant smirk, but it was a start.

**Im trying to update as quickly as I can because I am going on to France at the end of August and will have no wifi, however, I will be writing so should probably be super fast putting the chapters up after that :)**

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	20. Chapter 20 - What Chocolate Can't Cure

**A/N I felt bad so this one is a little bit cheerier, enjoy...**

**5 REVIEWS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 20: What Chocolate Can't Cure

_"Say what you say I'll just sail away._

_She can't stand me but I miss her face._

_I feel like drowning but the tides too low._

_And now I'm waiting, for the undertow."_

_\- Stand Tall, Dirty Heads_

* * *

"It is within our grasp!" Gideon paced in front of his team then spun around to scowl at them all. "Okay, you have been flying brilliantly these past weeks, don't let it slip up! Slytherin knows how to fly but so do we! Now get your arses out on that pitch and let's win!"

The Gryffindor team whooped and James bounced up and down in anticipation.

Marlene was about to follow him out when Gideon said "McKinnon, wait here a moment - you too Black."

Marlene's heart sunk, she had managed to avoid Sirius like the plague since they'd broken up and so far, he had been more than happy to indulge her need for space. She hung back and averted her eyes from Sirius but she could feel him looking at her.

"Right," Gideon said and his voice was stern. "I know you two have just split up -" seriously, the guy couldn't be more blunt "- but it cannot affect your flying today, you hear me?"

This time, Marlene did glance towards Sirius. He was looking at their captain and he seemed relaxed and confident. Marlene turned back, "agreed."

Sirius shrugged, "I'll behave if she does."

Marlene ground her teeth but she knew that was all they would be able to get out of him when he was in this mood. She also knew that winning this cup meant as much to him as it did to anyone else, especially since it was against Slytherin.

The rest of the team were waiting for them just next to the changing rooms. James ruffled Marlene's hair and grinned at her. "Good luck out there Mars, I've got your back," he said cheerfully.

"I know," Marlene said, batting his hand away.

"Okay team lets go!" Gideon said, his face tense and concentrated.

Marlene prepared herself, this was going to be a big game.

* * *

"Excuse me, sorry - so sorry, could you let us through? S'cuse me." Dorcas made her way along the row, carving a path through the cheering crowds towards Remus and Peter. Lily, Alice and Frank trailed after her, letting her wrestle through so they didn't have to do any work themselves. Dorcas burst through a group of tittering girls with Sirius Black written across their foreheads to land heavily next to Remus who looked over at her in amusement.

"Don't say a thing," she muttered, indicating her hair which Marlene and Alice had forced into high pigtails on either side of her head, tied up with gold and scarlet ribbon.

Remus grinned and he pulled one gently, "I think it's cute."

Dorcas sent him a pretend glare but her eyes twinkled merrily.

Just then, Lily and Alice managed to wrestle their way through the girls. Both were wearing Gryffindor colours and had painted their faces with red and gold warpaint.

"Who the hell do they think they are?" Lily growled in an undertone, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder to indicate the girls behind them. "Probably don't even know a thing about Quidditch."

"They're in Ravenclaw," Peter pointed out.

Alice shot them a dirty look.

"Calm it ladies," Dorcas sighed and tugged on her hair. "You can support other teams you know."

"I know," Lily growled. "Do they have to be so vocal James and Sirius though?"

Dorcas grinned at her just as a huge cheer went up from around the stadium and the two teams walked out onto the pitch. Gideon and the Slytherin captain Avery shook hands. Gideon looked like he was trying to crush Avery's fingers off and Avery looked like he was trying to burn a hole in Gideon's head. Dorcas sighed, this was going to be very interesting.

"I hope Sirius behaves himself," Remus muttered.

"He will," Frank said confidently. "He wants to win as much as the twins do."

Dorcas squinted as she looked at Gideon's twin, Fabian. His face was set identically to the Gryffindor captain's as they mounted their brooms and took off.

"Why didn't I bring my binoculars?" Dorcas asked out loud.

"You have a pair of binoculars?" Remus asked in surprise, staring at her.

Dorcas shrugged, "not really, they're Marlene's. I just borrow them."

"GO JAMES!" Peter yelled. He was standing on his seat and waving a flag that had 'go James' written on it in fancy writing. Dorcas spluttered with laughter at the look on his face but then decided that the situation called for it so she jumped up on the seat next to him, pulling Lily up beside her. "C'MON MARLENE!" She shouted at the top of her voice.

Peter started, surprised that she'd joined in on his shouting. He stared at her for second then he grinned, "GO GRYFFINDOR!"

The quaffle was being held by Avery and he was flying towards the goal posts with determined fury. He sent James spinning off-course and he brushed past Fabian but it was when he almost knocked Marlene flying off her broom when she tried to intercept him that things started to get heated. The bludger came hurtling out of nowhere and hit Avery square in the face, casing him to both drop the quaffle, and his nose to start gushing with blood.

"Ooohhhhh!" Came the collective gasp from the crowd as it made impact and Dorcas scanned the players for the beater who'd hit him with that force. Not to her surprise, it was Sirius who was glaring at Avery as the Slytherin captain spun down towards the ground to get his nose fixed.

"Why did you aim for the face you idiot?" Remus muttered under his breath, eyeing the game through the gaps between his fingers anxiously.

Marlene was now staring at Sirius with a look that was a mixture of emotions, annoyance being the foremost one on her features. Sirius had barely spared her a glance before he'd flown across to the other side of the pitch to chase after the bludger.

It was a tense game, both sides were closely matched and seeing as this game would decide the winner, the players were performing with extra vigour on each team. Dorcas had retreated down from the seat and was standing next to Remus, tapping her feet nervously.

"It's 240-230 to Slytherin," Remus moaned. "We can't catch the snitch until we're fifty points ahead otherwise they'll win."

Dorcas nodded, "this is torturous," she said watching Gideon yell instructions at his team from his spot at the goal hoops.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Remus turn to grin at her but she didn't pay him attention. Instead, she gripped hold of his bicep tightly as she saw with horror, the Slytherin seeker Regulus Black dive after something.

"NO!" Lily screamed as he reached out to grab the snitch. The Gryffindor seeker Amy Wood had been at the other end of the pitch and would never get there in time, no matter how fast she flew.

Suddenly, Regulus was knocked sideways as another bludger hit him, throwing him off his broom. Fortunately, he hadn't been far off the ground having dived very low so he just hit the grass and rolled, bones intact but his dignity bruised.

"Shit, Black looks super pissed," Dorcas said, staring up at Sirius who was glaring down at his little brother with something that reminded Dorcas of hatred. But it couldn't be hatred, could it? Regulus was his little brother. There was definitely something dangerous between the Black brothers that prickled in the air as Regulus recovered his broom and shot skywards, soaring up high above all the other players.

"YES POTTER!" Lily screamed, jumping up and down on her seat with Peter. Dorcas looked back at the game and saw that while she'd been watching Sirius and his brother, James had swooped past the Slytherin keeper Antony Greengrass and scored. She grinned at Lily who blushed slightly at her not-so-subtle show of approval of James.

"Yeah, they'll be together by the end of the first term back," Dorcas said quietly to Remus as she clapped James.

"Before then," Remus said grinning. "I say end of summer."

"You're on," Dorcas replied.

Alice poked her head between them and added happily, "I say by Christmas. New Years is always so romantic."

Frank shook his head at his tiny girlfriend and tugged her back towards him, grinning. "Stop making bets! It's not nice!"

Dorcas gave her best evil cackle and it made Remus double over laughing.

"What are you talking about?" Lily screamed at them as a huge cheer rose up from the gold and clad supporters all around. "YOU'RE MISSING IT ALL!"

"WE'RE FIFTY POINTS AHEAD!" Peter yelled across. He was flushed pink with excitement and he was jumping up and down on the seats, arm in arm with Lily who had apparently taken time out from her Quidditch frenzy to paint golden streaks across his face.

"Finally!" Remus said and he stared out to the game. "CATCH THE SNITCH!" He bellowed out towards Amy Wood who happened to be circling at their end.

As if she'd heard him, Amy suddenly sped up so fast that Dorcas struggled to focus on her. She was going at a steady downward slant as she struggled to reach the tiny gold ball that was worth so much. Dropping in on her, Regulus tried to physically shove her out of the way but Amy wasn't going to be put off easily. She rammed him back with such a force, he went flying off course and had to spin to catch up with her.

Dorcas was standing on tiptoe and adding her voice to the crowd as they screamed their seeker on. Then, as if coming up for air after a long time underwater, Amy made a grab for it and rose, hand held high above her head as the crowd went wild.

Dorcas was practically flattened by Lily who had jumped on her shouting "WE WON!" At the top of her voice. Frank and Alice had grabbed a stunned looking Peter and crushed him in a hug and Remus had wrapped his long arms around both Lily and Dorcas and was jumping up and down. All of them ecstatic with delight at their win.

* * *

Marlene hit the ground and, ditching her broom, jumped onto a startled Amy who was still holding the snitch tightly like she didn't really realise what was happening.

"MARS, WE WON!" James piled on top of them, shrieking into her ear and almost deafening her as he jumped up and down, still holding onto her tightly so Marlene felt dizzy. "We won!" He repeated, letting go of her and bounding over to Amy and, along with Gideon, hoisted her up so she sat on their combined shoulders.

Marlene, breathless with laughter didn't see Sirius until it was too late. He crashed into her, almost knocking her over. Marlene felt her knees grow weak as she breathed in his familiar smell and he wrapped her arms around her in a bone crushing hug. "We beat them!" He yelled in her ear and then, just as abruptly as he had instigated it, he let her go, bouncing away to where the team had started to form a group circle, jumping up and down and congratulating themselves. Marlene lingered back for just a second before James reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her into the centre of the happy chaos before she could feel the regret at her ending her relationship with Sirius creeping up and ruining the mood.

The large Quidditch Cup, adorned with scarlet and gold ribbons was given pride of place in the Gryffindor Common Room that night as the party raged around it. Gideon, as it was his last year as Captain and he had dreamt about this for years, could barely take his eyes off it, least not get torn away from where he sat, gazing at it lovingly. People kept bringing him drinks and slapping him on the back in congratulations.

Marlene was getting a bit of attention as well form people wanting to hear about her version of the game but at about midnight, she found herself on the sofa next to Fabian Prewett and sitting in comfortable silence. She was watching Sirius across the room. He was laughing with James and Peter. She was tipsy enough that she didn't really care if anyone noticed her staring at him, which incidentally, someone had.

"You still like him?" Fabian asked quietly, his head flopped and leaning against the back of the sofa to look at her. He appeared quite drunk and reminded Marlene a little bit of a puppy.

"Yes," Marlene said shortly after only a moments hesitation.

Fabian shifted. "Well shit," he said quietly, almost to himself. "I'm definitely buggered then."

Marlene did turn to look at him at that, "what do you mean?"

Fabian shrugged, not quite meeting her eyes. "I've got no chance if you're still in love with Sirius Black."

Marlene gaped at him for a couple of seconds then all she could say was, "I'm not in love with him."

"Uh huh," Fabian said, his head rolling back sleepily. "Still means I have no chance."

"Fabian..." Marlene trailed off, frowning uncomfortably. "I don't know if -"

"S'ok," Fabian said and his voice was slurred. Marlene thought it was half drink, half the fact he was falling asleep right in front of her. "I never really thought I had much of a chance anyway."

"I don't know why I ended it with Sirius," Marlene said quietly after a moments silence. "It seems so silly now but I know that he won't ever take me back." The pain that she had felt in her heart whenever she realised that seemed to double when she said it out loud.

Fabian let his head sink onto her shoulder, his eyes closing. Marlene heard him breath out deeply and she thought he might have fallen asleep but then he said, with a conviction that surprised her, "well then, he's more stupid than people think he is."

Marlene gave a small smile at that and rested her cheek on the top of his head, closing her heavy eyes and getting lulled to sleep by the steady sound of Fabian's breathing.

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	21. Chapter 21 - What Lies At Home

**A/N Okay so this was fun to write, especially since I'd just read 'Harry Potter and the Cursed Child' and I decided to use the only mention of Sirius Black "and his cronies" in this chapter which was a laugh. If you've read the eight book of Jo's, see if you can spot it:)**

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**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 21: What Lies At Home

_"Call off your guard, _

_While we slide away._

_And let all your sins_

_Come stumbling in._

_Tell all your friends,_

_That we're sliding away._

_And leave all that's between__,_

_In sweet history."_

_\- Courthouse, Iwan Rheon_

* * *

"Well I think you lot are lucky," Marlene said miserably as the train pulled out of Hogsmead station. "You're all actually going to be able to go home for the summer holidays, I'm going back for a few days then I'm staying with the Potters for the rest of the time..." She groaned and slammed her head back on the seat. "Why did my parents decide they wanted a holiday with no kids?"

"Can't you stay with Jon?" Lily asked, flipping a page of her book.

"He's living with his girlfriend, I'm not third wheeling on that shit," Marlene said and pulled a face. "I'll just have to come over to your houses as much as I can."

"Um," Dorcas said in the corner, looking almost as depressed as Marlene. "Have you met my parents?"

Marlene acknowledged that with a tilt of her head. "Would you be more sympathetic if I put it this way: I'm going to have to spend the majority of the summer holidays with my ex-boyfriend and his surrogate parents who happen to happen to know nothing about our breakup?" Marlene sighed, "this is going to be awkward."

"Why is Black living at James's?" Lily said casually. "I've never asked."

Marlene's face set. She hadn't told any of her friends what had happened almost a year ago at the Potter's house. "He got out," was all she said. Lily didn't look like that was enough to appease her but Marlene wouldn't budge on the subject so it was eventually dropped.

"I need a smoke," Dorcas said about an hour into the journey. "Mars, you coming?"

Marlene nodded and got up, feeling like a stretch of the legs would be just as beneficial. They were halfway down the train when they found them, rolling around with laughter in their compartment.

"Marlene!" James opened the door and grinned brightly.

Dorcas cast one suspicious look at Sirius who was currently wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes then said briskly, "can't stop Potter, I'm dying for a smoke here!"

"You'll never guess what just happened," James said, lowering his voice and looking like he was about to erupt in giggles. "We tried to jump the train -"

"You what?" Marlene hissed, her eyes widening in alarm. "James, are you crazy?"

James shook his head and doubled over with laughter. "No, but the bloody trolley lady is!"

That brought Marlene up short, "what?"

Even Dorcas looked interested as James said happily, "she's bloody mental - she's not human, I know it!"

"- of course she's human!"

"- course she's not human."

Marlene and Sirius both spoke at the same time, causing eye contact between the pair of them and an awkward silence followed. Marlene felt Dorcas stir restlessly next to her.

"Well she's bloody scary that's for sure," Peter spoke up, obviously in an attempt to ease the awkwardness that hung about in the air. "She's got spikes for arms."

Dorcas snorted in disbelief and Marlene cracked a grin, "okay, now we know you're playing with us."

"Honest to Merlin she has long spikes for arms!" James insisted.

"Well, congrats for figuring out that the trolley lady is a maniac, we owe you one!" Dorcas said, her patience obviously drying up, basting wary glances between Sirius and Marlene. "Now me and Marls have an errand to run so will you please let us leave!"

James smirked at Marlene and saluted Dorcas, "roger that commander!" Marlene heard him turn around and say smugly to Remus "see, I do pay attention in muggle studies -" before the door slid shut.

"What a revelation," Dorcas said. "You know, Potter's growing on me."

Marlene scoffed and cracked a smile, thinking of her friend fondly. "He does that," she said and sighed, thinking unsurely about the next few weeks and what they would entail.

**_3rd July 1977_**

"Mum, this is a really bad idea," James muttered quietly as he faced his mum over the kitchen table. "You don't understand how strained these past two weeks have been."

Eva Potter grinned. "Sounds like you all need an excuse to relax and reform friendships," she concluded. "I know you don't exactly get on with Esme, but she's your cousin -"

"Second cousin once removed," James mumbled but Eva ignored him.

"All I'm saying is, maybe it'll be good for you to invite the boys for you and Sirius and Marlene's friends for her and Esme -"

James shook his head, "Mars doesn't exactly get on with Esme either mum, it's a bad idea."

Eva sighed heavily, "fine, for Marlene then. I don't know the exact details of her...relationship with Sirius but it's obvious they're more on edge with each other."

James decided not to say anything to that. True enough, Marlene staying with him had been a bit of a strain on Padfoot who had been avoiding her at all costs but Marlene seemed just as anxious to leave him and James out of her business as well. James had tried to encourage her to join them on a few occasions and had made a massive effort to include her but she was having none of it. Marlene spent more time at Lily's or out with Dorcas. James didn't know exactly what they got up to but he suspected, from the fact she came snuck back into the house in the early hours of the morning smelling of smoke and alcohol, that they went muggle clubbing.

"Anyway, I thought you were friends with Lily Evans now?" His mum asked, smirking mischievously.

James shuffled his feet. "We are," her muttered.

"Well then, that settles it. Write the letters inviting them, James." Her tone left no room for argument so James just sighed resignedly and nodded.

Eva smiled to herself, satisfied and reached up to peck his cheek. "Don't worry Jay," she said gently. "I know you worry about Sirius and Marlene but they'll sort out their own issues by themselves. Perhaps they just need time apart - which is a good reason to invite both your friends to the Lakehouse with us, it'll be fun!" She left him with one last encouraging smile and James wondered how exactly he was going to tell Sirius without it becoming a big issue. Sirius didn't even know that Esme was coming to stay with them while they stayed in their holiday house near the Lake District.

Esme D'vaten was his mother's cousin's daughter and they lived in France, occasionally coming to visit when situation called for it. This year, Esme's parents were going to Australia for four weeks so James's parents had offered to take care of her and had on purposely scheduled their annual summer holiday trip to the Lakehouse so it coincided with her visit.

"Prongs," Sirius greeted, walking into the kitchen and picking up an apple from the basket on the counter. He took a large bite out of it and looked up at his friend. "What's up?" He asked, swallowing loudly.

"You remember Esme?" James said morosely. "My second cousin who lives in France?"

Sirius frowned but then his eyes widened and he said "the pretty one?" He saw the look on James's face and added quickly, "who's also incredibly annoying."

"Yeah that one,' James said unhappily. "Well she's coming with us to the Lakehouse."

Sirius's face dropped. "Shit no wonder you look so depressed, isn't she the one who Marlene pushed into your pond because she insulted you years ago?"

James laughed at that memory. "Yeah that's the one, I'm surprised you remember that, we were like, twelve years old?"

Sirius nodded then shrugged. "It's not something you forget easily, both girls yelling at each other - one soaking wet and covered in pondweed and Marlene protecting your pride."

The mention of Marlene reminded James of his mother's plan and he sighed heavily. "Mum wants me to invite the rest of the marauders, plus Lily, Alice and Dorcas to keep Marlene company." He tensed, eating for Sirius's reaction.

Sirius was quiet for a while, chewing thoughtfully on his apple, then he shrugged. "Whatever, McKinnon probably would love the company and it'll be a laugh to have the boys with us."

"You don't mind?" James checked, relaxing at at his don't-care attitude.

"Don't mean shit to me mate, it might even be a laugh." He paused and then said in a quieter tone, "it's not like I haven't noticed how distant she's been. I understand me, but you? That's not how it's supposed to be." He shrugged again, returning his attention to the apple, the lines around his eyes tightening. "She might loosen up with the girls."

James nodded, agreeing with him. "Well okay then, you write to the boys, I'll go and tell Lily." He paused, frowning. "You don't happen to know where she lives do you?"

Sirius spat out the mouthful of apple and stared at him. "Please don't say you're thinking of going there and telling her yourself?" He said nervously, like he wasn't entirely sure of James's intentions.

James shrugged, "why not?"

Sirius looked at him silently for a moment then deflated. "Just dint expect me to come and rescue you if she decides to hex your balls off for showing up uninvited at her house."

That's how James ended up apparating to Lily's house later that day, a determined look on his face as he reached up to press the doorbell, hearing it ring somewhere inside the house and the answering shout of "I'll get it!"

The door opened and James found himself looking at a haughty woman with a long, horse-like face and a judging expression. James instantly knew that this was Lily's older sister Petunia. While Lily had never indulged much of her home life to him, James was aware of her broken relationship with her only sibling so when he came face to face with her, he already had a biased opinion and therefore, found little to like from her first impression.

"Who are you?" She asked snappishly, keeping the door closed so James felt the unwelcoming vibes coming off her.

He decided to play nice. "James Potter," he said, reaching out a hand for her to shake. She didn't. He retracted it after a second of awkward silence then said, "I'm friends with Lily, is she in?"

Petunia's eyes narrowed as she guessed what he was and how he knew her sister. "You're one of them, then," she said and the disapproval in her tone was obvious. "Like that Snape boy she kept bringing home with her."

James's eyes narrowed at the mention of Snape, not to mention that this woman had compared him to that slime ball. "I'm a wizard yes," he said with some effort to remain passive. "But I wouldn't consider myself anything like that scumbag."

He thought he might have been able to see humour glint in Petunia's eyes before it was replaced by disgust. "Keep on that side of the threshold," she muttered and turned away into the house, yelling loudly, "Lily it's another one of _them_ come to see you!"

Pounding footsteps on the stairs and seconds later, he heard Lily, before she'd even arrived at the door, stating loudly, "Marlene, you can't come here again, just man up and face Black for goodness sak -" she broke off as she pulled the door off Petunia, opening it wider and her eyes falling on James. "Potter?" She said incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

Petunia had disappeared back into the house so James thought it was safe to relax. "I was just passing by." He frowned. "I knew Marlene had been hiding out here to keep away from Sirius!"

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes, stepping outside and shutting the door behind her. "It's been ridiculous," she said, sounding exasperated. "She's regretting it badly and now she can't face him because she thinks he won't forgive her."

"It was a stupid thing to do," James acknowledges then, when Lily frowns and opens her mouth to defend her friend, adds quickly, "but I can understand why she did it. I gave Sirius hell last year when I thought -" he stopped, not wanting to divulge the true nature of his fallout with Sirius and although the fact Sirius had been shunned by all three marauders had been public knowledge, nobody knew the reason behind it except Snape.

Lily gives a small smile and doesn't inquire though James can see she's curious. Who wouldn't be? The marauders never, ever fall out with each other in view of anyone, not even the Gryffindor girls.

"So what are you doing here?" She asks instead and James stuffs his hands into his pockets. "Um, well, so my family owns this large holiday house near the Lake District."

Lily nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"Well we go on holiday there and my mum thought it would be a good idea to invite the boys, you, Alice and Dorcas to keep us company. The house is big so there's plenty of room."

Lily thought for a moment then said, "when you thinking of going?"

"This Wednesday," James replied. "We're staying there for four weeks but you don't have to stay that long."

Lily nodded, "Alice is on holiday with her parents at the moment so she won't be able to come but I will and Doe will probably jump at the opportunity to get out of her house." She looked at him then said suspiciously, "you apparated to my house to tell me this, why not just send an owl?"

James shrugged then sent her a lopsided grin, "s'pose I was just curious."

Lily looked surprised at that but then slowly started to smile. "I'm up for a holiday as well," she said lightly, opening the door and shooting brilliant smile over her shoulder at him. "See you on Wednesday."

"Me or Sirius will come by and pick you up," James called after her and Lily gave him the thumbs up as she closed the door.

* * *

He hadn't meant to bump into her, he'd just heard the front doorbell ring and knew it was Esme arriving and he wanted to avoid seeing her for as long as possible. So Sirius hadn't been looking where he was going as he rounded the corner and crashed straight into Marlene. "Shit!" He yelped as she bounced back, looking started.

Marlene's eyes flicked up to meet his and the blue in them hit him hard like it always did, and made his heart ache like it always did.

"Have you seen James?" She asked, sounding embarrassed and looking away from him and stepping backwards out of reach.

"No," Sirius shrugged then gestured down the stairs. "I wouldn't go down there if I were you, she's just arrived."

Any awkwardness faded from Marlene's face as her eyes narrowed and she stared down the staircase. "She's early," she said, venom lacing her tone. "Why is she early?"

Sirius grinned, "you sound so hostile Lena -"

Marlene looked up at him so fast at the casual use of his nickname for her that it almost made Sirius jump back. Almost. She stared at him then seemed to tense up, ready for a fight but what came next was quite the opposite.

"You know, this is the first actual conversation we've had in weeks."

Sirius shoved his hands deep into his pockets and shrugged, not really knowing what to say. He was spared the effort by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. His eyes widened in panic and he grabbed Marlene's arm, dragging her into the nearest room and shutting the door before they were spotted.

Keeping his ear to the door, Sirius heard not saw Marlene huff in irritation and he let go of her quickly. He knew she wouldn't leave until Esme was out of range but that wouldn't be long. He turned around to face her. The room was semi dark with the growing evening so Sirius couldn't see the expression on her face because she had her back to the window. "Marlene, look -"

"No, I can't listen to this right now," Marlene had stepped back, putting more distance between them.

"I just want to say I want us to be friends," Sirius said, putting up his hands in surrender. "Just forget this past year happened."

Marlene was silent for a good few seconds and Sirius held his breath for the whole time, waiting for her reaction. Finally, she let out a long sigh and moved towards the door. She turned the handle before she looked back at him over her shoulder. "I will never forget this year," she said in the softest tone he'd heard her use when talking to him in ages. "I _couldn't_ forget." Then she pulled open the door and hurried out, leaving Sirius in the gathering darkness, knowing that he could never forget either and wishing more than anything that he could.

**_A/N: because a lot of my reviewers are guest reviewers, I can't reply to them which really upsets me because there are quite often ones which I'd like to reply to so from now on, I'm going to start replying at the end of the chapters. Because of this, it would be nice if you left some sort of name so you know when it's your review I'm replying to...most of my guest reviewers do that already but some don't and I'd really like a way to thank each one of you individually for your kindness shown in your reviews :)_**

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	22. Chapter 22 - The Lakehouse

**A/N This chapter is nice and long and I've had a nice time writing it, it's so different outside of Hogwarts and you can have a bit of fun with the little holidays. Also, Esme is designed for you not to like. :)**

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**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 22: The Lakehouse

_"When it's missing then you want it more _

_It isn't right_

_Turning, turning out the door_

_And back to this_

_Leave it like it was before_

_And let me out_

_Must've been the end of the story."_

_\- Warrior, Yeah Yeah Yeahs_

* * *

**_4th July 1977_**

Marlene walked into the kitchen, hence making her first of many mistakes that day. Esme was sitting at the table with James and Sirius a little further down form her. Both of them were staring at their breakfasts, trying to keep themselves inconspicuous. Marlene groaned and almost walked out again at the sight of her stuck up, spoiled brat face. Stopping in her tracks as Esme looked up at her, both their faces mirroring equal dislike of the other. James's cousin had incredibly pale skin with not a mark or a blemish in it and shoulder-length curly hair which Marlene knew was dyed even blacker than the girl's soul.

"Marlene," Esme said, breaking the silence and saying in a sickly sweet voice, "I had no idea you were staying here as well. Parents can't look after you?"

Marlene scowled. "They're away on business," she shot back. "Your parents on holiday without you?"

Esme gave her a fake grin and said simperingly, "yes, mummy and daddy can afford long vacations to Australia, maybe unlike some peo -"

"Marlene, do you want some toast for breakfast?" James cut over her loudly before she could retort.

Marlene scowled and sat down next to him as he dumped a pile of toast in her plate. "I forgot she was coming," she muttered moodily to James.

James offered her a sympathetic grimace then raised his voice, "Lily says she's coming with us to the Lakehouse and Remus and Pete will be there too."

That perked Marlene up considerably and she said, "Dorcas is as well. It'll be good for Lupin to have some company." She waggles her eyebrows suggestively and Sirius choked on his cereal.

"I don't think I've met Lily and Dorcas," came the annoying voice from the end of the table. "Are they your friends Marlene?"

Marlene could see James shaking his head at her ever so slightly but she ignored him, instead turning to face Esme with hard eyes. "Yes, they're my friends," she said coolly. "You surprised?"

Esme mouthed wordlessly and looked down at her plate of food. Sirius chuckled and Marlene shot him a glare but he shook his head, still grinning, "I can't wait until she gets on the wrong side of Meadowes."

Marlene too was anticipating that knowing Dorcas would rip the girl to shreds but she didn't openly agree with Sirius. She'd considered what he'd said to her last night and decided that she too wanted to be friends again but she was scared that it might hurt a little too much if - no, _when_ \- he started dating other girls again.

So instead of openly agreeing she just smiled to herself at the mental image of Dorcas tearing Esme to shit.

**_5th July 1977_**

Lily's trunk bounced down the stairs after her as she heard the doorbell ring from downstairs. Her dad shouted "Lily, your friend is here!" just as she reached the bottom step.

"I know, I know," she said, heading for the door. She had hoped it would be James who would come to take her back to the Potter's house as she'd never been there before and didn't know where it was, but when she opened the door, she came face to face with a grinning Sirius Black.

"Morning Lilykins!" He exclaimed, practically bouncing up and down in front of her. "You excited to go on holiday with me and Prongsie?"

Lily scowled at him, overdramatising it a great deal. "I wasn't expecting you, I thought James was coming to get me?"

Sirius's grin if possible, widened. "Yes but we tossed a coin," he looped an arm around her shoulders and led the way down the path. "Cute little place you got here," he said cheerfully. "If I'm honest Lils, I'd much rather be back with the others to witness any drama that might be going down right now."

Lily frowned, "Drama with Marlene?" She asked suspiciously.

Sirius's face dropped ever so slightly and he removed his arm. Lily instantly wished she hadn't brought the subject up with him, it was obviously still a sore spot but he shrugged off her apology. "Nah it's James's cousin Esme, you'll understand when you meet her."

"Esme..." Lily mumbled, the name ringing a bell in the back of her mind. She was sure she'd heard Marlene talk about her before but she never used to pay much attention to anything that had to do with Potter.

Sirius grinned down at her. "You'll love her," he said happily. He offered his arm and she took it with only the tiniest amount of trepidation.

A brief second of uncomfortable claustrophobia later and she arrived outside the Potters house. She recognised it immediately from the New Years party that James had hosted but she had really paid attention to the details of the house. It was old, probably been in the Potters family for years and it obviously came with a large sum of money attached to it.

"Don't be too intimidated," Sirius said quietly, looking down at her. "The Potters might have money but they aren't smug about it like some purebloods. They won't rub it in anyone's face. They're brilliant people, more than you might realise, not everyone would've taken me in like they did."

Lily turned to look at him as he divulged this piece of information and it was almost like she was seeing him for the first time. She'd always put Sirius down as a troublemaker and not much else, even when he was dating Marlene. Yes, she knew he was loyal to his friends but he was reckless and definitely had a mean side to him but right then, she actually saw him and what she realised was standing in front of her was a young man who had only wanted someone to look after him. The respect in his eyes when he spoke of the Potters was obvious to her. Lily had never really known why Marlene had made such an effort to care for him like she did but in that moment, Lily saw the person underneath the act and she understood what her friend saw in him.

Sirius suddenly looked uncomfortable at having slipped up enough to say something like that and he shook his head and shot her a smirk. "You staring like that might start to make Prongs jealous if he happens to look out the window," he joked.

This jerked Lily out of her thoughts and she promptly jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. "Shut up," she muttered.

Just then, Marlene came tearing out of the house with Dorcas a pace behind her. "Lily!" She shouted, pulling her into a hug.

Dorcas jumped on top of them while Sirius stood back and rolled his eyes, "Merlin it's as if you didn't see each other like, two days ago?"

Dorcas shot him a glare but Marlene rolled her eyes right back at him, much like she'd used to do a year ago but it was a brief moment and Lily didn't mention it to either of them. "So where's this Esme I've been hearing all about then?" She asked as Marlene led her towards the door.

Marlene groaned, "oh you'll meet her soon enough, don't know why on earth you'd want to!"

"Marlene had a little falling out with her when we were twelve, didn't you?" Sirius mocked her lightly, picking up Lily's trunk and carrying it inside for her.

Marlene stared at him, "you remember that?" She asked disbelievingly.

Sirius just sighed heavily. "As I've already told James, yes I do remember - it was probably the funniest thing I've seen you do."

The corner of Lily's mouth curved upwards. She wasn't imagining it, Marlene and Sirius were definitely on better terms with each other than the last time Lily had seen them together. "What did you do?" She asked instead of voicing her thoughts.

Marlene smirked, "pushed her in the pond out the back. One of my finest moments."

"She can't be that bad -"

Lily had started the sentence just as she'd walked into the kitchen and caught sight of Esme herself. Something about her reminded Lily of Cecilia Glover from Hogwarts. Maybe it was the silver sheen to her hair that made it so obvious that it wasn't her natural colour. Or maybe it was the simpering look on her face as she glanced up from her French magazine but Lily wasn't one to judge a book by its cover.

"Hello," she said carefully, aware of Marlene, Sirius and Dorcas all hanging back to witness this. "You must be Esme?"

Esme looked surprised at being addressed so abruptly and she just raised an eyebrow. "And you are?"

"Lily. Lily Evans." Lily replied cautiously.

Esme's eyes flicked past her to someone in the doorway and Lily turned to face a beaming James. Almost instantly, Esme was forgotten as James bounced forward to hug her. Lily only allowed the hug for a second before stepping out of his arms but he seemed way too happy that she'd indulged him for the length of time that she had. "Padfoot behave himself?" James asked, shooting a teasing grin at his best friend.

Lily chuckled and nodded, "he was the perfect escort."

James nodded happily. "Good good."

He was cut off by a little cough from thee other end of the room and Lily turned around to face Esme who looked straight back at her. "You had to have an escort? I heard you're supposed to be the brightest witch our age in Hogwarts."

Something in her tone made Lily want to frown at her but she didn't, she just shrugged. "I've only been here once so Sirius just made sure I didn't get lost."

Esme muttered something under her breath. Lily was prepared to let it go but Marlene apparently, wasn't. "What was that Esme?" She asked in a dangerously sweet voice. "I didn't think anyone heard you."

"Marlene just leave it," Sirius said quietly. "Let's go and -"

"Whatever Sirius," Marlene muttered and brushed past him before he could finish his sentence.

Well they obviously hadn't gotten over all their problems with each other Lily thought as she darted a glance at Dorcas.

"She's touchy this year isn't she? I don't think I've ever seen her this unstable," Esme mused. "Did something happen with you two?" This question was directed at Sirius who just shot a glare in her direction and walked out of the room.

James let out a long breath. "Well that could've gone a lot worse," he muttered quietly, probably so he thought no one could hear, but Lily did.

**_7th July 1977_**

They had been at the Lakehouse for just under two days now and Dorcas could feel herself starting to relax into the holiday vibes. It was nice to have a break from her father for a while and she could never enjoy herself when she was at their family house. Despite growing up there, Dorcas had never considered it home, preferring to spend more time at the McKinnons house. It was no secret that her parents were purebloods and kept to the agenda concerning that. They weren't as bad as the Blacks or some of the other families but they would occasionally do or say something that made Dorcas suspect that their views weren't so different from Sirius's old family. The biggest difference was that they tried to deny it and that angered Dorcas more than anything and if they'd had their way and if Sirius hadn't run away from home, the two of them would probably have ended up in an arranged marriage together.

Dorcas grimaced at the thought and rolled over onto her front. She and the other girls (minus Esme) had taken up refuge under a crooked oak tree in the back garden. There was a hammock there and the garden joined onto the path down to the lake where Dorcas was pretty sure James and Sirius were mucking about with the little rowing boat.

"I brought sandwiches!" Marlene announced as she made her way over to where Lily and Dorcas had been lounging in the shade of the tree. "Eva told me to bring them out and not to tell James or Sirius because apparently she found them raiding the pantry at three o'clock this morning and she's pretending to punish them!"

Dorcas sat up as Marlene put the plate down on the blanket they'd laid down on the grass and helped herself to one. "Damn I love the food she makes!"

"Doe, these are sandwiches, it's not like she made them from scratch," Lily said sounding amused as she too, helped herself to one and picked her book back up again.

"Be as that may Lils," Dorcas replied through a mouthful of cheese and tomatoes. "She sure knows what the best combinations are."

Marlene rolled her eyes as Peter walked out the back door and towards them. "Sandwiches?" He called happily and jumped on them. "Mrs P says I can have some," he told Marlene when she batted his hands away. "I wasn't raiding the pantry at three this morning so I'm not being punished."

Marlene reluctantly pushed the plate towards him then nodded towards the house, "Pete, any idea where she's gone?"

"Mrs Potter?" Peter asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

"No," all three girls said at the same time and Dorcas said to emphasise, "Esme, you know? The bitch that talks?"

Peter shrugged. "I don't know why you lot are so keen to hate her, she can actually be alright."

Dorcas gaped at him and Marlene pointed back to the house jokingly, "Pete, get out!"

Peter laughed, "I only meant she can be okay if you talk to her on her own about things which she can't be bitchy about."

Lily tittered and flicked a page of her book saying quietly, "so that's why I struggle to find conversation starters with her."

Dorcas and Marlene both laughed and even Peter gave a small smile. "So where is Prongs?" He asked and Dorcas couldn't fail to notice that the question was aimed mainly at Lily.

The redhead sighed and dropped her book into her lap, closing it before saying "I think he's down there, mucking around on the water with Sirius. Shall we go and look for them Pete?"

Dorcas readily volunteered to go with them, she could use a walk to stretch her legs and besides, if she took sandwiches, she could rub them in their faces when they got there. Marlene in the other hand didn't look so keen on the prospect. She excused herself to go and find her cat who she'd brought with her.

Dorcas and Lily exchanged a knowing look as she walked away from them into the house but Peter frowned. "Doesn't she realise that Sirius doesn't actually hate her?" He asked the other two girls.

Lily sighed heavily and shook her head, "I don't think it's that Pete. It's more the fact that she needs space to deal with it without him being around."

Peter's frown deepened. "She doesn't think he'd take her back if she asked," he said. It wasn't a question but Lily hesitated before nodding slightly.

"He would," Peter said. "I know him and I know that he misses her."

Dorcas and Lily both looked at each other again but neither of them said anything.

* * *

"Ahoy!" James shouted from the little dingy that he and Sirius were prattling about in. He stood up and waved as he spotted Peter, Lily and Dorcas reach the area of shingle at the waters edge, just next to the little pontoon that they had cast off from.

"Prongs sit down!" Sirius said. "Your gonna tip us if you keep dancing about in this!"

James grinned at him and started to rock the boat from side to side so hey sent out large ripples in the water and water even splashed Sirius and came in over the sides.

"Prongs stop it!" Sirius snapped and clung to the side. "I'm jumping out if you carry on doing that!"

James was grinning at him as he continued to rock the boat, the dare obvious in his eyes. Sirius smirked back and got up, pulling off his shirt and throwing himself dramatically into the water. The cold hit him like a punch in the chest, winding him slightly. It was turning out to be a very hot summer but the water was still icy. Sirius came up and grinned at James who had stopped rocking the boat and was looking lost. "Race ya!" Sirius shouted, already taking off with a powerful stroke towards the shore. He probably shouldn't have underestimated James's competitiveness however as the boat sped past him, propelled by James who looked like he'd cast a speed charm in it. Sirius was hit in the face by the waves caused by the boat's wake and he spluttered indignantly. "Cheat!" He yelled over the water but James had already reached the pontoon. However, he seemed to be struggling to tie the boat back onto its moorings so Sirius emerged from the lake, dripping wet and grinning just as James jumped down off the wooden platform and onto the shingles.

Dorcas was cackling at him so hard she looked like she was about to topple over. Sirius's grin changed to that of mischief and he pounced on her. Her laughter turned to shrieks of horror as he wrapped his soaking wet arms around her and squeezed so she couldn't escape, making sure she emerged from his grip covered in lakewater.

Scowling she hit him and then waved some soggy sandwiches in front of his face. "Look what I've got Black, do you want it?"

Sirius was hungry and drained from his swim back to shore so he gave a grateful grab for the food but Dorcas was too quick. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You two were caught raiding the pantry last night so you aren't allowed any of these!" She stuffed it into her mouth and hair happily through her mouthful of bread and what looked like cucumber, cheese and crisps, "Merlin this is heavenly!"

Sirius let out a growl of hunger and swiped his hand to snatch the remains of the half-devoured sandwich but Dorcas jumped out of the way again. "Meadowes! I'm so hungry!" Sirius whined but Dorcas just laughed and took off back up the path that led to the house. Letting out a growl, Sirius took off after her.

She was fast but he had the advantage of longer legs and vigorous Quidditch training so he was gaining on her as they neared the house. Just as he was about to get within grabbing distance, Remus stepped out of the house.

"Remus save me!" Dorcas shrieked.

"Get her Moony!" Sirius yelled at his friend.

Remus blinked, bewildered as Dorcas reached him and hid behind him, putting his body between her and Sirius.

"Padfoot, what are you doing?" Remus said as Sirius reached him.

Sirius glared at Dorcas who peered out from behind Remus and grinned tauntingly at him. "She's denying me mum's sandwiches!" He complained.

Dorcas lifted up the last bit of the sandwich and slowly brought it to her mouth, eyes sparkling with humour.

"Meadowes don't you dar -"

Dorcas stuffed the rest of the sandwich into her mouth and grinned as Sirius collapsed in fake agony.

Remus was laughing at him and Sirius looked up at him morosely, "Moony you traitor! Your supposed to be my mate!"

"Sorry Padfoot," Remus said, still chuckling. "You're just so overdramatic."

"Like that's the real reason," Sirius grumbled quietly but Remus shot him a look and he shut up.

* * *

Lily was reading down near the lake after dinner. She often disappeared for an hour or more and everyone had just stopped trying to follow her after a while. It was a peaceful place to come, especially with the evening sun setting over the hills at the far end of the lake and the colours reflecting on the water. Pine trees ringed the shingle beach and it was against one of those that Lily now sat, book in her lap, devouring page after page of lovers quarrels, sword fights and backstabbing betrayals. It was good to slip into someone else's stories so she could forget all about the real war in her own life.

A small cough made her look up and she saw Sirius standing in front of her, two cups of tea in his hands and a curious look on his face. "Evening Evans," he said, handing her one of the cups and saying, when she raised an eyebrow at him. "Prongs has gone domestic in the kitchen, mum asked for him to make her one cup of tea and he's made everyone some."

Lily chuckled lightly at the thought of James in the kitchen and took a sip. It was hot and she hadn't realised how much she'd wanted some tea until then. "How did he know I like two spoons of sugar in mine?" She asked, tasting the perfect sweetness of the liquid.

Sirius laughed and sat down next to her, leaning back against the pine tree so they were shoulder to shoulder. "Prongs knows more about you than you might think Lilykins."

"Like that's not remotely creepy," Lily muttered, ignoring the new nickname he'd been using for her.

Sirius shook his head and drank his own tea. There was a companionable silence for a while before he broke it. "You know Lily, your much more chilled than I ever gave you credit for. I would never have guessed you'd pack your bags and head off with a bunch of people you've claimed to loathe for a month long trip."

Lily shrugged and closed her book, placing it down next to her before replying. "I guess I just wanted to get out of the house, my sister Petunia is getting married soon and the stress levels are already so high."

"But isn't your sister getting married a good thing?" Sirius asked.

"Not if she hasn't actually invited you to the wedding."

Sirius didn't say anything for a second then he said quietly, "I'm used to a shit family, believe me but that's crap." He paused then said, even more quietly, "does Prongs know about that?"

Lily nodded, "yeah, he's actually a better listener than I ever would've guessed... I suppose both of us were wrong; I always thought you lot were a bunch of bullying toerags."

Sirius chuckled, "I guess so." There was another pause then he said, "I think that's another reason I found it hard to accept you, I thought you wouldn't be any fun and corrupt Prongs."

Lily turned a disbelieving look on him. He was sitting there with a frown on his face and she realised that he was being openly honest with her, probably for the first time they'd known each other.

"I don't think anything could separate you and James," she said quietly. "You're like brothers."

He nodded, excepting her answer. After another pause, Lily said quietly, "you know, things might not be as hopeless as you think with Marlene."

Sirius let out a loud breath and lent his head back against the trunk. "I don't think so Lily, she made her thoughts pretty clear."

"Has she?" Lily asked. "Because Marlene can be complicated at the best of times."

Sirius said nothing, just stared up at the sky. The Stars were beginning to emerge in the sky which looked like a painter had used pink and purple watercolours and spread them across, melting them together as he went.

Lily let him be with his own thoughts for a good twenty minutes before she started to get chilly and stood up, picking up her book and cup. Sirius glanced at her and stood up as well, sending her a small smile.

Silently, the pair of them made their way back through the trees back to the house. The front door was thrown open and James bounded out towards them. "Lily! Padfoot! Where have you been?"

Lily smiled at the warmness of his voice and bumped her shoulder against his as she walked past him, "thank you for the tea James, I'm impressed you knew how many sugars to put in mine."

James's eyes lit up, "impressed?" He teased. "I'll have to remember that for next time."

* * *

**Jily71102**: You spotted it the reference then, I was hoping people would! Thank you so much for your support with this story and I know Esme might not have been in this chapter much but she's got a part to play! I hope you like her (or hate her, whatever way you want to say it) and thanks so much for reviewing! X

**PansyW**: Thank you and I'm glad you like the story, it means a lot that you make the time and effort to review! X

**Padfoot1817**: It means so much to hear you say that, I'm glad I've managed to help you through and bring a smile along the way. Never give up on writing and it will reward you so much, even if it's just by letting your imagination run away and create all these crazy stories - half my life my head is in the clouds or thinking about this story and what I could do with it and it's such a brilliant thing when I get reviews like yours so thank you! X

**AS**: IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT! I'm sorry if this chapter didn't have as much Jily in it as it might have but there is some more around the corner. This one was more about defining the relationship between Sirius and Lily because I've always thought that they were the best of friends and that Sirius was just as much part of their little family as James. The pair come as a package! :) Remus and Dorcas (and I can't think of a good ship name either) I love writing. Remus is one of my all time favourites and Dorcas is awesome. Hope this chapter came before you died rather than after aha X

**Guest11**: Thank you so much for your constant reviews, they really propel me into getting my head down and writing this which I love to do so its a win-win situation we have here, hope this chapter didn't disappoint! X

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews, don't leave it to other people - it doesn't work like that!**


	23. Chapter 23 - Fabian and Esme

**A/N Here it is, I'm sorry it took so long but I've been at a festival and couldn't post so here it is...enjoy! :)**

**5 REVIEWS BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 23: Fabian and Esme

_"Cause I'm not worthy of your love_

_I'm barely keeping up_

_Feels like every single day, all I ever do is say I'm sorry_

_I guess that I'm not worthy of your love."_

_\- Not Worthy, Jack Savoretti_

* * *

_**8th July 1977**_

_Dear Marlene,  
_

_I hope your having a brilliant time with the Potters, I expect you are from what I've been told about that awesome Lakehouse of theirs and I'm super glad that Lily and Dorcas are with you - must make it easier being around Black for a while and I'm grateful that you think I'm a good enough confident for you to write to whenever you need._

_I've been accepted into the Department of International Co-operation and I'm going to be heading over to France next month for my first taste of European politics, which sounds boring but it's all very hush hush and I can't tell you much about it, however I CAN tell you that it'll be discussing certain developing factors for Britain and (you'll like this part) I've been picked as part of the team to organise the upcoming Quidditch World Cup which is going to be hosted in France - I might be able to get you tickets if you want? _

_Dumbledore has also gotten in touch with both me and Gid about other work but I don't think I can tell you much about that in a letter either, sorry. I can imagine your disappointed face from here but I'll tell you all about it when I can._

_When you get back to the Potter's house send me an owl and I'll come round, might be fun to have a bit of Quidditch with Potter and Black, I hope they're both behaving themselves._

_You wrote and told me that Black had cornered you the other day and tried to make friends? I think you should just do it, it's so obvious you miss him Marley, I can tell even by your letters. Make friends with him and see what happens from there, you might be surprised..._

_Gideon says hi by the way, we are baby-sitting for Molly at the moment. You have to come round and see Bill and Charlie, they are hilariously funny and I think Molly is getting sick to death of Bill who keeps stealing her wand and trying to perform magic. He's already turned the cat bright purple and dyed all the washing pink. I think Molly thinks we encourage them but she can't prove anything so we're safe._

_Say hi to everyone for me and hopefully see you soon!_

_Best regards,_

_Fab._

"Who's that from?" Sirius said, causing Marlene to jump from where she was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Looking up she realised he was staring at her intently and she shrugged, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Fabian," she muttered, folding the letter up and stuffing it in her pocket.

Sirius's eyes narrowed, "Fabian Prewett?" And this time there was definitely something strained about his voice. "I didn't know you wrote to each other."

Marlene opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by Esme who piped up from her end of the table, "is Fabian your boyfriend then Marlene? I thought you were single."

Marlene ground her teeth together and she saw the whole table tense up. "No, Esme -" she bit out the word harshly, "- I'm not going out with Fabian and even if I was, it's none of your business. Don't involve yourself in conversations that aren't your concern."

If anything, the table tensed up even more and now Sirius was looking nervously at Esme as well. Marlene just ignored them all.

She could feel James looking at her and glanced up to meet his concerned gaze. She sent him a small smile to tell him she was alright but he didn't look like he believed her.

"I didn't realise it was such an awkward subject," Esme said quietly, looking pointedly at Sirius.

Marlene's chair scraped back as she stood up.

"Mars -"

"Marlene, don't -"

James's and her friend's protests fell on deaf ears as Marlene walked out of the kitchen, past Eva who started to ask whether she was alright and up the stairs where she sat down on her bed in the room she shared with Dorcas. Marlene had no idea why James's cousin got to her so badly, she just did and had always done. She tried not to let her snide comments affect her and for the most part, she succeeded but this morning, one sarky comment about her relationship with Sirius had sent her running out of the room.

A knock on the door and James poked his head in. "Hey Mars, can I come in?" He asked, entering the room and shutting the door without waiting for a reply. He sat down next to her and Marlene brought her knees up to her chest and hid her face from him.

"Marlene, you don't have to hide from me you know," James said softly and he put an arm around her and pulled her over so she was leaning into his side. "We don't hide things from each other, remember?"

Marlene let out a little laugh at the memory of the pact they had made when they were eleven, just before they had started Hogwarts. Then she sighed and snuggled into him, relaxing at his familiar smell - the smell of her childhood.

"I've messed everything up James," she mumbled into his shoulder. "And all this stuff with Sirius is my fault."

She could feel James start to shake his head even before she'd finished speaking. "Its not -"

"It is!' Marlene insisted. "I blamed him for what happened to me and now I can't even talk to him!"

"Marlene, Sirius has done some stupid things in his life, believe me and while this might not have been the worst thing he's done, it still doesn't make your reaction to him any less reasonable."

Marlene shook her head miserably, "I can't face him."

"Well maybe you should just because of that," James said thoughtfully. "You know, like in all those shitty muggle books you and Lily read about facing one's fear and all that."

Marlene narrowed her eyes at him, "have you been reading them -?"

"No," James interrupted her, his face set.

"You have haven't you!" Marlene laughed and it felt good. "Why bother James? you could've just asked me if you wanted to know about them."

James looked embarrassed, one hand reaching up to ruffle his hair. "Thought it would impress Lily if she knew I read them," he muttered quietly.

Marlene wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, "you are the best person I know James, and if Lily can't see you for who you are then she's blind."

James kissed the top of her hair lightly and she head the smile in his voice as he said, "thanks Mars." He withdrew his arm and gave her a little push up, "now go and see Sirius, I think you two need a chat."

Marlene deflated and picked herself up, walking towards the door. When she got there she turned back to face him and opened her mouth as if to say something, then hesitated and shook her head slightly, slipping out of the room.

* * *

Lily breathed out heavily as James left the table to go after Marlene. She looked across the table at Dorcas who looked like she was being physically restrained from hitting Esme with any curse she could think of by Remus who had grabbed her arm under the table as she'd reached for her wand.

"Well I think we're done for today," Lily said, trying to make her voice sound as cheerful as she could. "Sirius could you -"

"I'm going to lie down," Sirius interrupted her. His voice sounded blunt and chipped. Lily's calm demeanour slipped a little bit under his stony expression and his face softened slightly. "Sorry Lily," he muttered.

Lily shook her head and waved it away, she knew he probably needed to get away and brood for a bit over Fabian's letter before he sorted himself and came back acting like normal Sirius again.

"Let's just go and sit outside for a bit yeah?" Remus said, standing up and pulling Dorcas after him towards the door. He shot her a meaningful look before they disappeared.

That just left Peter and Esme to deal with. Peter had been keeping a low profile throughout the conversation and now he cleared his throat, "I think I'm just going to go and help Mrs P in the kitchen Lily."

Lily pulled herself together and smiled at him, "great idea Peter."

He nodded at her as he scurried away and Lily stared after him. She had never really realised why the marauders had enveloped Peter so deeply into their ranks but she had started to understand the more time they spent together. Peter was the glue. He was the person whom Remus went to talk, he stopped Sirius's self-destruct and gave him things to blow up when needed and he listened to James's woes and nursed his ego whenever it had been stomped on by Lily. Without Peter, their little group would just descend into chaos and dysfunction.

Lily shook her head and looked over at Esme who raised her eyebrows back at her. "What is your problem with Marlene?" She asked calmly. She knew the best way to approach this was to be calm and not Dorcas's ranging fits of fury.

Esme leaned back in her seat and surveyed Lily. "I don't have a problem with Marlene."

Lily scoffed, "I think we both know that's not true. There's been something going on with you for a long time, surely you don't still hold a grudge against her for that pond accident years ago!"

"It wasn't an accident," Esme mumbled then she sighed and leaned back in her seat, surveying her nails. "Marlene has everything and yet nothing is ever right."

Lily frowned, "what's that supposed to mean?"

Esme didn't answer, she just looked at Lily carefully for a moment. Then she got up from the table and walked towards the door, not saying another word until she was about to exit the room. "If you don't understand what I mean then I can see why your friends with her."

Lily ground her teeth together but said nothing as Esme's black curls whipped out of sight. Sighing, she got up from the table and slowly made her way up the stairs. At the top she looked out of the little window that overlooked the garden, smiling to herself at the sight that met her eyes. Remus was lying in the hammock, head-to-toe with Dorcas and he looked like he was reading out loud to her. She was staring up at the trees and both of them were completely oblivious to the fact that Lily was watching them from the window.

Pursing her lips but not being able to hide the smile on her face, Lily turned away and let out a little shriek as she spun right into something solid. She would've fallen back onto her bum had arms not reached out to grab her and prevent that embarrassment.

"Sorry!" James said quickly, "I didn't think you'd turn around that fast!" He let go of her arms and Lily glared at him, straightening her shirt.

"What were you doing?" She asked suspiciously.

James gestured at the window, "I wanted to know what you were grinning at like the cat that got the cream." He peered past her and chuckled when he saw their two friends in the hammock. "Sweet isn't it?"

"I wasn't grinning," Lily grumbled. "I was just smiling because it's a nice picture."

James laughed lightly and leaned back against the wall. "It is a nice picture. I do hope Moony will have the guts to keep this one, she'll be good for him."

"This one?" Lily raised an eyebrow and James hastened to explain himself.

"Remus doesn't have the best track record with girls, he gets close to them then chickens out last minute - seems to think he is never good enough for them."

A small frown creased Lily's forehead, "thats rubbish! Remus is worthy of love as well."

James was looking at her with a peculiar expression but he just nodded and said, "try telling him that."

There was a moment of silence then Lily said, "how's Marlene?"

James ran a hand through his hair and nodded distractedly. "Shes okay I think. I don't know Lils, I used to be able to read her like a book but now...?" He trailed off and sighed. "I don't know how to make her better. It seems like only Sirius knows how to do that these days and he doesn't think there's hope y'know?"

Lily nodded, remembering her last conversation with Sirius. She'd had an insight into how cut up he actually had been over their breakup but she had no doubt James knew it better than she did. "What are we going to do about them?" She asked quietly.

James looked down at her and smiled softly, "theres only one thing we can do Lils; wait for them."

* * *

Marlene hesitated before she reached his door. He was sharing a room with James so she hoped it would just be him in it. To her dismay she heard voices from the room and gritted her teeth, raising her hand to knock. Before her fist made contact with the wood however, the door swung open and Marlene jumped back as she came face to face with the most unwelcome person.

"Hello Marlene," Esme said in a chipped voice.

Marlene took in Sirius sitting in the bed behind, looking very tired and annoyed. Hurt and jealously overwhelmed her as their eyes met and his widened in shock at seeing her standing in his doorway. "Lena -"

Marlene turned and fled, not listening to his voice calling for her to stop. Angry tears bubbled to the surface but she swallowed them down. No way was she going to cry over Sirius Black. His actions stung her however - of all the people, Esme had to be the one he was choosing to punish her with? That was just cruel.

She didn't realise where she'd been going until she stumbled into the living room. It was a large room with bookcases lining the shelves and a couple of comfy sofas next to the fireplace. It reminded Marlene of the Gryffindor common room and that brought some comfort.

"Marlene!"

Marlene whipped around to face him and glared. "What, Sirius? What do you possibly have to say to me?"

Sirius was staring at her. He hovered on the edge of speech for a second then he blurted, "you're _jealous_?"

That statement would've sounded harsh except the way he said it sounded incredulous, almost like he couldn't believe it.

Marlene's eyes narrowed, "of all the people Sirius? Her?" She crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself tightly.

"What? No!" Sirius shook his head and took a hesitant step towards her. "You think I'd sink that low Marlene?"

Marlene stood frozen to the spot as he took another step towards her. If she reached out now she'd be able to touch his chest. "But she was -"

"She was just leaving." His voice was firm and calm. Marlene looked up at him as he took another step closer, he was staring at her intently. "But you were jealous, don't deny it."

"Is that why your here then?" Marlene snapped but the force of the words was ruined by the tremor in her voice. "To rub it in even more. What the hell are you thinking Sirius?"

Sirius looked like he was wavering on a decision as he looked at her. Marlene waited, anticipation starting to build in her stomach.

Finally he spoke up, his voice horse. "You're jealous, which means I have a reason to hope." So that was the emotion that was raging in his eyes like a fire.

Marlene was shocked into silence. He took one final step towards her, closing the gap between them and Marlene reached out a hand, placing it against his chest and stopping him. "Sirius...wait."

Sirius's eyes closed and he leant back. He would've stepped away from her completely if Marlene hadn't closed her fist on his shirt, holding him in place. He opened his eyes and looked back down at her, belief rekindling in his eyes. "I don't know..." Marlene started quietly then stopped and drew in a breath. "I'm sorry for blaming you," she whispered. "But if we start again, I think we should keep it on the down low."

Sirius raised an eyebrow quizzically. "You mean, keep them guessing?"

Marlene hesitated only slightly before nodding and waiting for his reaction. Sirius was frowning thoughtfully, "even our friends?" He asked eventually.

The hesitation was more apparent then but Marlene still nodded, "yeah I think so. They will probably put two and two together but they won't gossip."

He saw her reasoning then and smiled softly, raising a hand to stroke her cheek. Then he chuckled and dropped his hand down to play with one of her blonde curls, "who would've thought; Esme huh?"

Marlene scowled, "what exactly was she doing in your room?"

"Why is Fabian Prewett writing to you?" Sirius shot back.

"I asked first!" Marlene said, indignant.

"She came in to borrow one of James's magical cameras, now you have to answer my question."

Marlene smirked, "Fabian has been writing to me all summer, I think he -"

"Do not say he fancies you Marlene," Sirius said sternly. "I quite like the guy, I'd hate for that to be ruined."

Marlene smiled and held onto the front of his shirt tightly, pulling him slightly towards her. "I really am sorry," she said, her smile fading. "For before."

Sirius's smile faded as well and he leaned down forwards her slowly. "I'm sorry too," he whispered. He ran his fingers down her neck to the hollow of her throat causing Marlene to shiver. Sirius gently pulled down the top of her shirt to see the scars engraved below her collarbone. "For what it's worth Lena, the scars make you more endearing. I'm proud to be a blood-traitor, it's okay for you to be as well."

Marlene had frozen as he'd revealed the scars but she relaxed slightly as he trailed a light finger over them. "That's easy for you to say Sirius," she whispered. "Your not the one who has to live with them for the rest of your life."

"I've got scars too, remember?" He muttered. "Maybe not as obvious as yours, but my family does seem to keep giving us both hell doesn't it?"

Marlene had no reply to that so she said quietly, "I've missed you Sirius."

Sirius bent his head and placed a light kiss to her collarbone then looked up at her, eyes sparkling. "I know." He took her face in his hands and kissed her, making Marlene forget her worries of before, even if it was only for a little while.

* * *

**Jilly71102: **Yes a girl can dream and hopefully a girl's dream came true? And if it hasn't don't worry, I can't bear for Blackinnon to be apart either...

**Guest11: **thank you so much for your support!

**Hey there: **thank you, I'm very glad you're loving it, means a lot:)

**Zubrowka: **thank you so much for that comment, I do try and keep the storyline realistic when I could go full out and they could be getting near death experiences all the time - they are still protected to a certain extent at Hogwarts. I love writing Remus and Dorcas together, werewolves need the love as well! Glad you're enjoying it and thank you for reviewing :) plus you happened to have been the 100th reviewer so cheers x

**SBMM: **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm looking forward to playing around with their new relationship and however long it takes for people to realise what's happening... You may be surprised...

**PansyW: **thank you so much for your support! Means a lot

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews, don't leave it to other people - it doesn't work like that!**


	24. Chapter 24 - Makings Of A True Leader

**A/N Here it is, I'm sorry it took so long again but I've had a little bit of a block with this story and needed to get this chapter out of the way to get onto the good stuff again. Unfortunately I'm in France on a canoeing trip for the next ten days so therefore I won't be able to post anything as I won't have Internet.. Review as much as you can before I get back and surprise me :)**

** HOWEVER MANY REVIEWS I CAN GET BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**All belongs to Jo - forever grateful x**

* * *

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 24: The Makings Of A True Leader

_"Happy to see you,_

_Setting me off like sparks,_

_You ignite all the colours inside my heart._

_On the doorstep,_

_Like we never been apart,_

_Hope you know that I'm happy to see you."_

_\- Sparks, Cover Drive_

**_23rd August 1977_**

"I can't believe it," Sirius spoke in hushed tones as he and James stared at the tiny object on the bed with expressions identical to ones they might wear when confronted by a dangerous creature. "This isn't possible, what was he _thinking_?"

James was looking concerned as well. "Do you think it got sent to the wrong address? Maybe Moony was supposed to be staying here and they got the names mixed up and -"

"No," Sirius said, snatching the letter out of James's hands and looking at it. "It clearly says that James Potter is the new head boy on this."

James didn't look like he wanted to touch it but he scrunched up his face and picked the tiny offensive thing off his bed where he'd thrown it in his shock. "Could it be Dumbledore's idea of a practical joke?"

Sirius lifted the letter up to the light as if checking for fingerprints. "It looks genuine," he said, sounding like he didn't want to believe it. "But I guess you'll just have to go to the prefects carriage on the first day back and see if anyone more probable turns up." Suddenly his face turned from incredulous to excited. "Prongs, we could totally use this to our advantage! You're Quidditch captain as well this year, all the responsibility could weigh you down mate."

"You and Mars will be taking care of most of the training," James said instantly like he'd thought about this for a while. "I'll oversee the selection process of course but you know Marlene, she's a winner at grilling the team to excellent physical standards."

Sirius nodded, absorbing that information. "Well if you say so, I'm sure Evans will help you cope with the head duties as well," he grinned wickedly, "you never know what might happen on those long midnight patrols."

James shoved him. "We don't even know if Lily got head girl."

"They have to have at least one responsible person in charge, although considering this I'm now convinced our headmaster was either not in his right mind when he decided this or he wanted to play matchmaker." Sirius frowned. "I like to think it was the first one, the idea of Dumbledore smoking a joint has certain amusements."

James snorted at the image of Dumbledore sitting in his study blowing smoke rings but then his face fell, "what's Lily gonna say?"

Sirius groaned, "If she's not dating you by the end of the year I'll eat my own balls." He shook his head, "we need to be cunning this year Prongs, Lily has started to warm up to you but you need to go the extra mile to get her to actually like you."

James nodded, "right."

"So I propose we get the boys and Marlene on it as well," Sirius continued. "We need more than one person to help us, as much as I love you Prongs, you may need a little assistance wooing the Lilyflower."

James shot him a glare but changed the subject as quickly as he could. "You and Mars okay then?"

During their last week at the Lakehouse, James hadn't really seen them together but when he had, they seemed a lot better with each other. Still, a little confirmation couldn't hurt could it?

Sirius smirked, "never been better."

James thought he seemed a little too cheerful but happy Sirius was much better than a bitter, sulking, moody, wallowing Sirius so he let it pass.

"I can't wait to see Remus's face when he hears about this!" Sirius cackled. "Send them all owls inviting them over now - Marlene too, she'll want to hear about this new development." He looked almost as pleased as if he'd gotten the badge instead of James.

An hour of getting hugged and kissed by his overly proud mother and several slaps on the back from his father and the wink he sent his way, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Marlene sat in the Potter's living room.

Sirius was bouncing in his seat looking nice excited whereas James looked anxiously from face to face.

"You're... Headboy?" Remus stated slowly and clearly. "You're not pulling my leg on this are you Prongs?"

James shook his head, still feeling a little stunned.

Suddenly Peter let out a chortle of laughter and James narrowed his eyes at his friend, "something funny Pete?"

Peter shook his head, "I just think it's funny," he said between bursts of giggles. "Dumbledore is obviously trying to be a matchmaker this year -"

"That's exactly what I said!" Sirius exclaimed, looking proud that Peter seemed to have come up with the same joke as him. "We always knew Pete had a good sense of humour!"

"Hilarious," Marlene intoned. "Lily is head girl, you know that right?" She added, looking at James and confirming what everyone had just assumed anyway.

"Dumbledore obviously thinks you have the makings of a leader Prongs," Remus said and James was glad he wasn't taking it too badly. After all, everyone had thought Remus would make Headboy.

"Well, I'm proud of you Jay," Marlene sent James a warm smile which he returned. He was beginning to feel a lot better about this arrangement now he knew all his friends weren't going to treat him differently because of the new title.

"Now, next major issue," Sirius said, suddenly serious. "Do we tell Lily?"

"We?" Marlene shot at him. "It's James's decision you douche!"

Sirius smirked at her.

"I know it's your decision Prongs," Peter said suddenly. "But I don't think you should tell her. We go back in a couple of days anyway, best if she finds out on the day you know?"

James frowned, not liking hiding this fact from Lily but Remus was nodding as well.

"I agree with Pete," he said. "It does mean she won't be able to put up any sort of fight about it."

"Who says she'll put up a fight," James argued. "We've been getting along fine for a good few months now!"

"James," Marlene said softly. "That may be true but your still the marauder who causes more trouble than he fixes and she'll want to take this role seriously. If she thinks you might be preventing her from doing her job, the end result will be disastrous."

"Will," Sirius repeated. "Hear that Prongs? 'Will'. It's a definite conclusion."

"Unless you follow our instructions," Marlene said firmly. "I know her, she's my best friend. We can do this James, I know we can!"

"Oh no," Remus groaned. "Not another one of their crazy schemes!"

Beside him, Peter grinned. Oh, this year was going to be so much fun.

He couldn't be more correct and mistaken at the same time.

**_1st September 1977 _**

Marlene battled her way through the thick crowds on platform 9 3/4. She almost felt like it would be different, going back for her last year at Hogwarts but everything was the same. Except it also wasn't. She had gone through so much last year that Marlene doubted she'd ever be the same again and now her and her friends were even closer to having to decide what to do once they'd left. That prospect was as daunting as the oncoming war. Or had the war already hit them? Marlene wasn't sure, she'd never fought in a war before and had never thought she would until a year ago. What changes must someone go through to get to that point? She didn't really know that either, except for her own personal experiences.

"Lena!"

Sirius's hand grabbed hers and spun her around to face him. "I came to find you, we've already grabbed a compartment, come on!"

Marlene smiled and followed him towards the train, only looking back over her shoulder once to see her mother and father standing in the crowd. They spotted her getting on the train and gave her a little wave which she returned. They'd already said their goodbyes before Marlene had disappeared to find her friends.

A whistle blew and more smoke gushed onto the platform. Sirius grabbed her trunk, sent her a wink and lifted in into the train. Marlene grabbed it off him once she'd gotten on herself and the pair of them walked along the corridor and towards the compartment Sirius was directing her to.

"I dunno where James is," Sirius said as he opened the door to reveal an empty compartment. Marlene could see Remus's trunk on the self so she knew they'd be coming back. "I think Remus and Peter went to find Dorcas and Alice."

Marlene flopped down on a seat and let her cat out of the cat cage. The ginger furry monster jumped up and promptly fell asleep on her lap. "Alice might be spending the journey with her friends from Ravenclaw," she said quietly. "And I've no idea where Dorcas is."

Sirius grinned and plonked himself down next to her, slipping an arm around her shoulders and letting Marlene to rest her head in the crook of his neck. "Looks like it's just us two for a bit then," he said, although his voice was far from displeased with that fact.

Marlene 'mmh'ed and closed her eyes briefly. Sirius pressed a kiss to her temple and leaned his head back.

So far, no one seemed to have realised they had started up their relationship again, and although neither of them said it, it was beginning to get on their nerves that they were hiding it from their friends.

Sirius didn't tell anyone because Marlene had said at the beginning that she didn't want it to be public and Marlene didn't tell her friends because she thought Sirius didn't want it to be public knowledge. Narrow escapes were becoming more frequent when they would accidentally nearly get caught by James or someone but neither of them said anything to the other. For now, Marlene was content to let it go but she could easily feel herself falling asleep on his shoulder right there and didn't think it was a particularly good idea for their relationship to be revealed just now. Lily needed to find out about James's new authoritative position and one shock fro her best friend would be enough for today, so Marlene removed her head from Sirius's shoulder and he quickly withdrew his arm as the compartment door opened and Dorcas walked in, followed by Remus and Peter.

Dorcas eyed the pair of them suspiciously but neither Remus or Peter batted an eyelid so she didn't bring it up.

"Has anyone seen Evans?" Sirius asked lightly. "Or Prongs?"

"Nope," Peter said, sitting down across from Marlene and taking of his shoes. "We've looked but can't find either of them."

Remus opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a jolt and the train slowly started to move. He sighed, "well they'll be on here somewhere."

At that moment, Alice burst into the compartment causing Peter to squeak slightly in fright and Dorcas to jump out of her seat. "Did you know that James is Headboy?" She asked the lot of them, a frown covering her face.

They all nodded and Alice stared at them. "When were you going to tell me this?" She asked.

"Has Lily found out?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, she was ranting about it in the prefect carriage apparently. Where are they now?"

"We um, we don't know..." Sirius trailed off, then his eyes widened. "What if she's killing him?"

Marlene snorted, "sit down Sirius."

Sirius sat down again but still looked nervous. Until James walked through the door, followed by Lily.

"Prongs!" Sirius breathed out loudly as James sat down. "Thank Merlin, I thought Evans might be castrating you!"

James rolled his eyes as Lily scoffed lightly, "shut up Sirius."

Sirius just grinned and relaxed back in his seat.

They were speeding past hills when there came a light tap on the door and the trolley lady poked her head in. "Any thing from the trolley dears?"

All the boys recoiled instantly but Marlene and Lily got up and went outside.

"You're not annoyed about James getting Headboy then?" Marlene asked quietly as she picked up a packet of Droobles best blowing gum.

Lily didn't look at her as she passed the money to the trolley lady who then turned and waddled off down the corridor. "No," she said finally, still not looking at Marlene, "I'm not annoyed. I think James might actually be able to be a good Headboy, he just needs to assert himself."

Marlene nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. Lily was starting to flush a little bit. "Right," she said quietly as she started to open the door to the compartment. "All he needs to do is assert himself."

Lily blushed and adorable shade of pink.

**REMEMBER: I'm not going to post for the next 10 days as I'm away without Internet. See how many reviews you can give me when I get back and I'll post the next chapter instantly! :) thank you all for reading!**

* * *

jily71102: I'm glad you loved the Remus and Dorcas bits... Marlene and Sirius...? You'll have to wait and see I guess;)

**zubrowka**: thank you, and thank you for the review as well.

**Guest11**: thanks and as for them being back together for good? Well, no one knows yet so I think that technically they aren't exactly together, it's more like a secret relationship...you'll have to wait to find out unfortunately :)

**SBMM**: Yes they are (kinda) but people need to start finding out before its official. They could break up again and nobody would ever know. I wonder who will find out first...?

**GinevraZabini**: thank you so much for your support! Come back in about 10 days to read the next one! :)


	25. Chapter 25 - Lost

**A/N sorry it took longer than I promised but my wifi crashed when I got back from France and I've only just managed to post it - hope you enjoy (or not, and I'm sorry in advance)**

**FIVE REVIEWS BEFORE NEXT CHAPTER! :)**

**Everything belongs to Jo x**

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 25: Lost

_"I know you think that I shouldn't still love you  
_

_Or tell you that._

_But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it_

_Where's the sense in that?_

_I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder_

_I'll return to where we were."_

_\- White Flag, Dido_

* * *

Lily told herself to have patience, that somehow, James Potter would turn up and show that he was capable of being a good leader, but as she stared out over the classroom full of chattering Prefects who didn't seem to show any signs of shutting up and there was still no sigh of James, Lily felt her heart sink in disappointment.

Deciding she might as well get this meeting over with, without James, Lily stood up. "Okay everyone, lets start!"

To her dismay she was completely ignored. This was not a good sign to her first meeting as head girl but Lily was stronger than that. She stared around the room until she found Remus, sitting in the corner looking absolutely knackered.

"Remus!"

He looked up at her when she called his name and Lily hesitated slightly at the heavy bags under his eyes. His voice was perfectly normal when he replied though. "Yes, Lily?"

"Have you seen Potter?" Lily growled out between her teeth, purposely using his surname to tell Remus just how annoyed she was with him.

Remus smirked, apparently amused that Lily was pissed off with his friend but he shrugged, "I have no idea Lils, sorry."

Lily let out a heavy sigh. There was many a day where she wished that Remus had been made Headboy but their headmaster seemed to have lost his mind momentarily when he picked the one for the badge.

A piercing whistle made Lily jump out of her skin in shock along with everyone else in the room. She spun around to see James standing in the doorway, two fingers in his mouth and a grin forming on his face as he realised that he'd managed to shut everyone up. "I think we should start now, yes?" He said after a moment when everyone just stared at him.

There were nods of assent among the prefects and James took a seat and turned to look at Lily, waiting for her to start.

Lily shot him a look and cleared her throat. "Okay, so, Professor McGonagall has asked me that we start planning an event for the students, it can be anything we decide and we have to organise it ourselves. However, Professor McGonagall will be looking over the procedures to check they are suitable," she added, looking mostly at the Slytherins and James and Remus. "So it has to be something fun and exciting that will take students minds off certain matters at hand." Lily didn't feel the need to elaborate on the war. Everyone already knew.

"So kind of like a distraction?" Sylvie Silvers, a sixth year Hufflepuff, said.

"Exactly!" Lily said, pointing at her. "Something that will distract students from the war, possibly something that will keep them entertained for months before hand."

"I don't think we should be distracting the students," seventh year Augustus Smith from Hufflepuff said haughtily, which Lily thought was strange because most Hufflepuffs weren't so stuck up.

"OI!" James barked from the other end of the room. "Your headgirl is speaking to you - show some respect!"

Lily stared at him, wide eyed but he was too busy glaring at the Hufflepuff to notice. In the end, Augustus seemed to back down and James looked towards Lily, waiting for her to continue.

"Right, um so any suggestions?" Lily asked, clearing her throat.

"What about a ball?" Hannah Murrey, a Ravenclaw asked, raising her hand slightly into the air.

"Yes," Lily said.

"No," James said at the same time.

Lily glared at him to shut up, which to his credit he did.

"A ball is a good idea - it'll keep students occupied for months leading up to it," Lily continued. "We'd have to have an age restriction though, don't want loads of first years getting white girl wasted."

"Fifth year up," Remus said lightly. "And fourth years can go if they get asked by someone in the years above."

Lily shot him a smile, "perfect."

This is where James decided to interrupt. "What about a man auction?"

"A what?" Lily said, raising her eyebrows at him.

"We get all the guys who want to be auctioned to put their names down and the girls can bid for them."

"And what would we do with the money?" Lily asked slowly.

James paused, thinking that over. "We could choose a charity to donate to, or keep it for school funds."

Lily stared at him, that was actually a brilliant idea.

"I like that," someone said and all of a sudden, people were arguing front and back about whether they should organise a ball or a man auction.

Lily's head sunk into her hands as the arguing started to make her head hurt. Opinions flew and people started raising their voices and Lily groaned into her hands. In all her time as prefect, they had never sunk to arguing among themselves liked this and Lily had no choice but to put it down to her rubbish headgirl skills.

Another one of James's whistles cut through all of them causing an abrupt silence. "I think," he said, his voice sounding loud in the sudden silence. "I think we should do both, why not?"

There were several murmurs of assent and James grinned, looking throughly pleased with himself. "Right, that's settled then, we should all get going back to our dormitories."

To Lily's amazement, the prefects all moved towards the door, now chatting merely to each other as if they hadn't just been arguing about balls and man auctions seconds before, leaving Lily and Remus both looking at James with expressions of astonishment and amusement.

"You're doing what?!" Alice practically shrieked at James and Lily but before either of them could answer, she'd started talking again. "Oh Merlin, that's brilliant! Can we help you plan it?" She stared at Lily as Marlene laughed and Dorcas rolled her eyes.

Lily cleared her throat and shot a half glance at James, "we were kinda relying on you to help us."

Sirius started to laugh. "I am not helping you organise a ball, it's just not going to happen!"

"I wasn't going to ask you to!" Lily shot back as Marlene sent him a kick and a frown. "Actually we've decided that we -" she indicated Alice, Marlene and Dorcas along with herself, "are going to plan the ball and you lot will organise the man auction, since it's James's idea..."

Sirius seemed to consider this, "alright," he said then he grinned happily, "man auction sounds right up my street."

Nearly everyone rolled their eyes at Sirius's typical behaviour.

Lily sighed and slid down in her seat, closing her eyes wearily.

Marlene patted her shoulder. "Don't you worry Lils," she said, sounding more confident than Lily felt. "We'll plan it brilliantly, Hogwarts won't ever forget it."

Lily sighed again, hoping she was right.

* * *

Dorcas absentmindedly pushed her food around her plate, not really feeling in much of a mood to eat it. The carrots and the peas were fine but mashed potatoes? Dorcas couldn't really stomach them. Instead, she chose just to stare at her food and let her mind be blissfully blank.

A thump and the bench was pulled out so Remus could sit down next to her. Dorcas spared him a glance before returning her attention to her food which she now had no intention of eating - it looked like brown mush now and very unappealing.

"You okay Doe?" Remus asked, piling food onto his own plate and casting a curious look at her.

Dorcas lent back and tore her gaze away from the food to look at him. "I was thinking," she muttered, frowning as she spotted something over his shoulder.

"What about?" Remus said, obviously humouring her.

Dorcas's eyes narrowed and she pointed behind him at the retreating backs of Sirius and Marlene. "There's something going on with those two."

Remus twisted around then sighed and added some pie to his plate. "I know," he said finally. "I've been waiting for someone to say something though," he added.

Dorcas gave a small smile of the Remus-ness of that sentence. Of course he'd wait for someone else to see it before he acknowledged it, the boy didn't go around spreading rumours, even amongst his friends.

"What you smiling at?" Remus narrowed his eyes at her and Dorcas shook her head.

"Nothing. But I'm not wrong am I? They are up to something and they haven't told us." She frowned again. "Why wouldn't they tell us?"

Remus looked back down at his food, "I don't know, maybe they don't want anyone to know?"

"That's not really like Sirius, is it?"

Remus sighed and looked at her, propping up his head on his hand, elbow leaning on the table. "I'm not sure Doe, I used to think so too."

Dorcas by now, knew him well enough to tell when something was affecting him and she could see that this was one of those moments. Reaching forwards, she grabbed hold of his other hand that was lying on the table and squeezed it. "Black is a dickhead," she said quietly. "But he's your friend and if he is keeping secrets I suppose it's for a good reason."

Remus sighed and stared down at their joined hands as if he considered it a miracle that she'd touch him. "Every time Sirius has kept secrets, it's ended up in chaos."

"Rem, you can't expect him to just tell everyone his secrets, that's not fair."

"I know," Remus was looking at her with an expression she'd never seen on his face when he'd looked at her before. "Merlin knows I'm the master of secrets but I just can't think why they wouldn't tell us if they're back together. Don't they trust us anymore?"

Dorcas lent away from him as confusion and doubt crept up to her. She didn't understand what he meant about being the master of keeping secrets and he was voicing her own deep fears that Marlene no longer trusted her like she'd used to. Dorcas found she didn't understand or like what he was saying to her and she let go of his hand, pulling it back towards her and picking up her bag.

"Where are you going?" Remus frowned slightly and looked at her, confused as she got up and swung her bag over her shoulder.

Dorcas paused, "back to the common room."

"Wait a moment then," Remus quickly picked up his own bag. "I'll come with you -"

"No," Dorcas said, cutting him off. She didn't know where the sudden need to be alone came from but it was overpowering. She needed to get away from Remus with his Amber eyes that held too many mysteries for her to deal with right now. The sudden knowledge that he too was lying to her about things along with everyone else was too much. Of course she didn't know how to tell him that so she just said, "I need to go," and hurried away from him, leaving him frowning in confusion and misery behind her.

Dorcas didn't exactly know where she was going, she just needed to run away until she found herself alone with her thoughts. Once she was however, she felt like kicking herself. Why did he just run away from Remus of all people. Remus whom she trusted, Remus who she could feel herself falling for a little bit more each day.

Sighing, she hit her head lightly against the stone wall and swore under her breath.

"You hit your head harder you might hurt yourself," a voice spoke behind her and Dorcas whirled around, pulling out her wand.

Regulus Black stood behind her, looking like a younger more preened version of Sirius, except the robes were lined with green not red, his hair was shorter and neater and the coldness Dorcas sometimes spotted in Sirius's eyes seemed like a permanent feature in his younger brother's.

"What do you want?" Dorcas snapped, lowering her wand but not putting it away.

Regulus shrugged and eyed the wand warily. "Not much, I was just passing when I saw you slamming your head into the wall." He narrowed his eyes, "I was wondering what caused you to try and give yourself a headache?"

"None of your business," Dorcas muttered but she stowed her wand back in her pocket and looked at him. She had never understood Regulus Black, it seemed that he was as much a Slytherin as the rest of the wannabe Death Eaters, but then, in times such as this, he just seemed like a normal kid. There wasn't really much hostility in his voice as he spoke to her, just curiosity. So Dorcas sighed and shook her head, "I just had a momentary hit of self-doubt, it's nothing really."

Regulus didn't move from his spot a few paces away from her but a shadow of a smile did cross his face. In that moment, Dorcas saw Sirius in him so clearly that she needed to say something. "You know things might not be as disastrous with Sirius as you might think," she blurted out and Regulus recoiled in shock at the sudden change in conversation.

"I don't think so," he muttered, and he looked honestly saddened by that belief. "Sirius has his friends and they'd never let him near me again."

Dorcas stepped towards him but then stopped herself. She shifted then said quietly, "you could still make the right decision Regulus, and if you made the right choice, Sirius would -"

"It's too late for me now," Regulus said swiftly then he looked like he instantly regretted saying that. "I have to go, I can't be seen here with you."

Dorcas shook her head disbelievingly as she watched him walk away from her hurriedly. Maybe she was wrong? Maybe the younger Black brother was as lost as Sirius thought he was.

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews before you find out what happens - don't leave it to other people folks! :)**


	26. Chapter 26 - Out In the Open

**A/N AGAIN SORRY but I've just started back at college and things have been a little hectic, plus I've been binge watching Being Human cause Aiden Turner is LUSH... Anyway, I try to post ever weekend from now on, starting this Saturday, or Sunday...or possibly Monday, depends where you are in the world.**

**FIVE REVIEWS BEFORE NEXT CHAPTER! :)**

**Everything belongs to Jo x**

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 26: Out In The Open

_"I'd be crazy not to follow,_

_Follow where you lead._

_Your eyes,_

_They turn me._

_Why should I stay here?_

_Why should I stay?"_

_\- Weird Fishes/Arpreggi, Radiohead._

* * *

James was nervous, at least, that was the emotion he thought was pumping through his veins at that moment but he wasn't really in the right state of mind to name it, whatever it was. And yet, even the idea that he was nervous was ridiculous as he looked over the many people who were jostling and shoving each other, all carrying broomsticks. This was Quidditch and James Potter was a master of Quidditch. If he could get the position of Headboy, he thought as he cleared his throat, then he could definitely do this job.

"Right you lot!" He shouted over the noise and instantly, everyone shut up, turning to face him expectantly. Sirius smirked at him from where he was standing next to Marlene in the corner and looking utterly relaxed.

"Tryouts today are for a new Keeper, Chaser and Beater, and here I will pass over to Sirius and Marlene here. Sirius will be in charge of training and Marlene physical exercise. Do what they say and we might just win the cup this year!"

James retreated to the side of the pitch and watched carefully as Sirius and Marlene carefully divided the possible players into groups. James wondered if he had made the right choice in giving Sirius half of the captaincy but he needed Marlene for the training program and hadn't wanted his friend to feel left out. It seemed however, that Marlene and Sirius were working well with each other, almost as if they were still together.

James squinted at them. _Surely not_, he would've noticed if they had started dating again. Or he would've been told, either way he would know, wouldn't he? James suddenly felt nervous. What if Sirius didn't want to tell him because he thought James would try and stop it, like last time. What if Sirius felt like he couldn't rely on his best friend?

This particular thought process was interrupted by Sirius sitting down next to him and blowing out a loud breath of annoyance. "Well, this isn't going to be too difficult," he said, voice oozing sarcasm.

James, who was still turning over the recent revelation in his head was very slow to react, looking over at his friend only once Sirius had started to frown in annoyance. James knew Sirius thought he was being ignored so he shook his head and grinned, "sorry Pads, was miles away."

Sirius narrowed his eyes but relaxed all the same. "You alright Prongs?" He asked carefully, looking concerned. "You look a bit pale."

James waved him away and they returned to watching the tryouts, occasionally commenting on a particular person's flying or skill in dodging bludgers. Everything felt normal with Sirius, not like his best mate was keeping something from him and James started to relax again, thinking he'd made a paranoid mistake.

But then they were back in the common room after tryouts finished. James was feeling very satisfied that he'd filled in the holes that the Prewett twins had left, slightly less confident about the Beater, but the third year they had taken a painstakingly long amount time over picking had shown considerable skill in aiming and had raw power that Sirius was convinced he could mentor the younger Beater into channeling. Sirius himself was sitting on the couch at what James assumed was a respectable distance from Marlene considering it was Sirius Black and the pair of them were chatting amiably.

James half closed his eyes, trying to blur out their conversation when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sirius lean in and sneak a chaste kiss to Marlene's cheek. Marlene elbowed him away, eyes darting nervously towards James who was too shocked to even move. He assumed his eyes were closed enough that Marlene thought he was sleeping because she relaxed and shot Sirius a smile that, even if James hadn't seen them seconds before, would've confirmed his suspicions anyway.

"You two couldn't be any more subtle could you?" He opened his eyes and grinned at them.

Marlene jumped half a mile and flushed a lovely shade of pink. Sirius shot one glance at James then chuckled, apparently satisfied that James wasn't going to bite their heads off.

"Why didn't you say anything?" James couldn't help the slight accusation creeping into his voice then and he knew they heard it because they both looked very guilty.

"To be fair it wasn't my idea," Sirius instantly ratted Marlene out who glared at him.

"Asshole, you agreed to it."

James frowned as Sirius opened his mouth to argue. "I don't really care who's idea it was," he said quickly. "I want to know why you didn't tell me or in fact, anyone else?"

"Because..." Marlene trailed off and glanced at Sirius for support. "Because I didn't want it to be public knowledge okay?"

Leaning forwards so his head was resting on his propped up hands, James just looked at her and waited for her to continue. Something Marlene seemed to be finding difficulty in doing.

In the end, Sirius sighed and said in a strange voice, "things got complicated last time, Marlene wanted it to be on our terms without all the nosy buggers gossiping all the time."

James leant back as Marlene sighed and nodded in agreement. "Fine," he said eventually and smirked to himself when he actually heard sighs of relief at his approval. "But watch your backs, if you didn't want people to know, stop being so fucking obvious."

Sirius smirked and sent James a tiny nod of the head. Later, when they were joined by the rest of their friends, Sirius leant closer to him and said quietly, "Cheers mate."

James's grinned and winked back, "not a problem Padfoot." He paused then added, just as quietly, "good to see you sorting your priorities out."

Sirius snorted and gave him a small shove, rejoining the conversation although this time, James could see how he would 'accidentally' brush Marlene's hand with his fingers every now and again. James felt like he was in on the secret and it made him stupidly excited.

* * *

Chess was one of life's simple logics. Remus knew how to play and he knew that he could usually beat the opposition but he was never obnoxious about it like Sirius or full of himself like James. Peter was the master of them all and could beat someone in a chess game with his eyes shut so Remus quite often knew he was beaten before he'd even started. He just enjoyed the time when he'd sit down with his friend and share their thoughts and various grievances over the table in the corner of the common room. This was what they were currently doing now and to Remus's surprise, he was actually giving the smaller boy a run for his money with the game.

"I don't know why James doesn't just ask Lily out again, she's obviously more keen than she thinks she's letting on," Peter said, glancing towards the other end of the room to where James and Lily were trying to plan a prefect meeting and looking like they were finally to abysmally. James kept pointing at things she was writing down and it looked like it was annoying the redhead.

Remus shook his head slightly and smiled, "they're definitely getting along better that's for sure, I just don't think she would agree to dating him yet. He's being surprisingly wise by playing the long game."

Peter snorted and moved his knight so Remus had to sacrifice his own to prevent check.

"But what about you Rem?" Peter asked curiously. "You've been off a bit lately, has something happened?"

Remus sighed, he supposed telling Peter about his kind of stuck situation with Dorcas might be a good idea. Peter may even be able to bring some light to the situation - after all, he did seem to be able to recognise emotions better than anyone Remus had met. "I think Dorcas hates me," he blurted miserably.

Peter's jaw dropped open, "what?"

"It was all fine until yesterday but then I said something and she stormed out of the hall and hasn't really spoken to me since." Remus let his shoulders sag in defeat. "I just don't know what to say to her?"

Peter pondered for a couple of seconds. "You like her?" He said eventually.

Remus scowled at him then muttered, "yes."

"And she likes you," Peter said. "So when she found out you were keeping secrets from her, it was a shock."

Remus gaped at him. "Wha - how did you know that?"

"She told me," Peter looked at him sternly. "If you want a relationship with Dorcas you have to tell her."

There was no denying what Peter was suggesting but even as he said it, Remus started to shake his head frantically.

"No no no no, I can't do that!"

"Why not?" Peter shrugged, "Marlene knows and she doesn't mind."

"Marlene's a completely different situation!" Remus hissed. "Marlene was never going to get close enough for me to hurt her, Dorcas is a completely different situation."

Peter shrugged and leaned back in his seat. "If Marlene found out, how long do you think it's going to take Dorcas to do the same?" He looked up at Remus gaping at him and shrugged again. "I'm just saying."

"I just can't. I can't burden her with that." Remus shook his head and sighed. "what am I even kidding myself? It's not like we're dating or anything close after yesterday!"

Peter didn't reply, he just moved his queen across the board and when Remus looked down, he saw that it was checkmate. Sighing again, he ran his hand over his face and shook his head. He'd have to find a way to get Dorcas to start talking to him again because like it or not, he was beginning to become dependant on their time together.

* * *

It might seem selfish, actually it was selfish but Lily really found it good when she wasn't the only one in the dormitory feeling miserable. Dorcas was moody because she'd fallen out with Remus about something and Alice was going through a rough point - apparently her mum was sick and it wasn't looking very good for her.

Lily herself was in a panicked stage and the finger of blame was very, very easy to point.

James Potter.

And..._feelings_?

Yes, Lily Evans lay in her back on top of the bed sheets in her pyjamas and contemplated what she felt for James Potter. And it wasn't good news for her. They were nice feelings, possibly the nicest she'd ever felt towards him but there was something else, something she'd been trying to repress for a while now. She _liked_ him. Lily Evans actually liked James Potter. The world was coming to an end.

The door banged open as Marlene swept into the room, bringing with her the cool fresh air from the night outside and a cheerful vibe that seemed alien in the room full of depression.

"Where have you been?" Dorcas asked in a chipped tone, walking out of the bathroom and shooting Marlene a suspicious look.

"Out," Marlene said, flopping back onto her bed and looking around the room at them all. "What's up with you lot? I feel like I've just walked in on a funeral."

Dorcas gave a halfhearted shrug then gestured at the door, "who were you out walking with?"

Marlene narrowed her eyes ever so slightly.

Lily felt the tension in the room increase abruptly as Marlene's good mood apparently faded and it was added to to already gloomy vibes.

"Nobody, why?"

Dorcas frowned. "You're lying," she said bluntly. "I can smell the cigarette smoke on you and you've been outside. What were you doing out past curfew?"

Lily and Alice had both sat up and we're watching the pair warily now. Lily could actually feel the brewing of something in the air between the two girls and it wasn't a good feeling either.

"What's it matter to you if I was with anyone, Dorcas?" Marlene was frowning. "Why are you being like this -?"

"Why are you keeping secrets from your best friends?" Dorcas shot back. "Why won't you just tell me what's going on with you and Sirius?"

Lily's mouth dropped open and she stared at Marlene. Had she started up her relationship with Sirius? How could she have not noticed?

Oh yeah, she'd been too wrapped up with battling her feelings for James these past couple of weeks for her to notice that something was going on with their friends.

Marlene was mouthing speechlessly at Dorcas who had folded her arms and was glaring at her.

"Dorcas," Lily started warningly. She didn't want her friends to have a serious argument over this, especially as Dorcas, for some reason, seemed to want a fight and Marlene looked like it was the last thing she wanted.

Dorcas turned on her. "Do you want to add to the conversation Lily?"

"N-no," Lily looked at Marlene in panic. Marlene was staring at her friend in shock, Dorcas seemed in that moment to Lily, a little frightening.

Then Marlene sighed heavily and shook her head, collapsing onto her bed. "I'm dating Sirius again."

As Dorcas opened her mouth to continue her attack on why Marlene didn't tell her, Lily blurted before she could help herself "I fancy James Potter!"

Whatever Dorcas had been about to say to Marlene seemed to get stuck in her throat and she choked.

"Wh-what?!" Alice had thrown her hands up in the air.

Lily blushed but her aim had been achieved. It seemed that her news had completely blown Marlene's out of the window, for now.

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews before you find out what happens - don't leave it to other people folks! :)**


	27. Chapter 27 - Living On the Fine Line

**A/N AGAIN SORRY (again) for how long this took, I really struggled with this chapter for some reason but it's a set up for the next one really. Anyway, here we are and I hope you enjoy. I'll probably post the next one Sunday... Or something...**

**FIVE REVIEWS BEFORE NEXT CHAPTER! :)**

**Everything belongs to Jo x**

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 27: Living On the Fine Line

_"You're the train that crashed my heart,_

_You're the glitter in the dark."_

_Laura, Bat For Lashes_

* * *

"Are you serious?" Marlene choked over Dorcas's spluttering. "I mean, are you sure?"

Lily didn't reply, just blushed a deeper shade of red.

"Oh Merlin, she does!" Alice flopped back onto her bed and like that, the bad vibes that had been hanging over them disappeared. "This is the end for all of us!"

"Don't - don't tell him!" Lily said quickly, looking around at them desperately. "I don't want him to know...yet."

Marlene started laughing. Hysterically.

"What are you laughing at?" Dorcas shot at her but Marlene was too overcome with giggles to hear the slight iciness in her words.

"After all this time... All James had to do was... Nothing!" Marlene gasped between laughter. Then she drew her knees towards her and burst into tears.

There was a stunned silence then everyone made sudden movements to scramble towards her.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked, putting her arm around Marlene and squeezing her, sending worried and thoroughly confused glances at the others.

"I'm sorry," Marlene shook her head and wiped her cheeks then looked Dorcas right in the eye. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I've wanted to for ages now but -" she shrugged. "I don't even know why I didn't, it's stupid!"

Dorcas held her gaze for a moment then she smiled and leaned forwards on the bed to grab Marlene in a hug. "Come here you," she muttered. "I'm sorry for freaking out, I've just been getting stressed that people are keeping secrets from me recently."

Marlene smiled at her but she was thinking about Remus and how miserable his condition made him. And how he didn't feel he could tell anyone because of it. And how it wasn't his fault.

"Is nobody going to freak out over what I just told you all?" Lily asked faintly from where she was kneeling on the end of Marlene's bed. She was looking at them all in disbelief and the sight made Marlene's lips twitch upwards.

"No offence Lily but we've been waiting for this to happen for two years, after the initial shock that you've finally realised, it's not big news," Dorcas said, smiling at her. Then she added soothingly, "sorry honey."

Lily looked dazed but she waved it off, shaking her head. "I can't believe I told you that," she whispered. "This is dreadful, don't you realise!"

"No!" Marlene, Dorcas and Alice all said, looking at their friend like she was mad.

"Lily, you and James are meant for each other, problem solved!" Alice said abruptly. "Never mind complications and all that bollocks."

"Second that!" Dorcas said.

Marlene looked at Lily and felt a pang of sympathy. "You'll be fine Lils, I can put in a good word for -"

"No you don't!" Lily's voice might have gone up a couple of octaves as she pointed at Marlene sternly. "Don't you say a word to him!"

Marlene raised her hands in surrender but Lily narrowed her eyes. "Don't say a word to Sirius either, he'd just tease me forever then tell Potter."

Marlene agreed as she heard Dorcas mutter grumpily, "great now I have to be nice to Black again - just what I need."

The elbow that Marlene sent her way was not accidental.

* * *

"So, plans for this ball then, any ideas?" Lily ripped out a sheet of paper from her notebook and clicked the end of her pen, looking around at the girls expectantly.

They sat around a table in the corner of the common room but it seemed that Lily was the only one focused on the task at hand.

Marlene was braiding Alice's now shoulder-length hair back and Dorcas had her head on one hand, gazing into space.

"I don't know Lily," Alice said. "Maybe you should organise this with the other prefects."

"I will!" Lily insisted. "But I want your input, plus, James is getting help from the boys with that ridiculous man auction thing."

"Please don't turn it into a competition between you and James," Marlene groaned. "He's stupidly competitive."

"Noted," Lily shot a look over towards the fireplace. "But seriously, I need your help. Most of the female prefects are idiots."

This caused both Marlene Dorcas to snort derisively and Alice to send her a disapproving look. Lily had the good grace to look slightly ashamed of that sentence.

"I think we should cover the place with gold," Marlene said as she finished the plait in Alice's hair. "And get a good band in. Oh and people need to buy their tickets."

"Why should they buy them?" Dorcas asked, turning to look at her with raised eyebrows.

"Because there's a secondary purpose then, the money can go towards the charity James is donating to."

Lily stared over at the other end of the room where James was sitting back in his armchair, feet up on the small table with his wand sticking behind his ear. He was talking to Peter about something and looked at ease with everything. "He really is donating the money to a charity then?" She didn't know why she was surprised, she just was.

"Yes," Alice and Marlene said, both rolling their eyes.

"No matter how hard it is for you to comprehend Lily, James is more of a leader than you give him credit for," Alice said as she inspected the braid at the back of her head by touching it, apparently satisfied.

Lily's words caught in her throat as she spotted Dorcas out of the corner of her eye. The brunette had just winced and hurriedly started scribbling feverishly on a piece of parchment, obviously desperate to avoid being seen by someone.

Lily didn't have to guess who had caused the change in behaviour, she knew already. "You really should talk to him," she said gently as she watched Remus Lupin sit down in his seat next to James and stare into the flames.

"What, like you should talk to James?" Dorcas shot back and Lily shook her head, rolling her eyes at her friend's frostiness.

Marlene smirked, "let's go and sit with them!"

"What?" Lily's eyes shot wider in surprise.

"No!" Dorcas growled in horror at the suggestion.

"I think it's a fantastic idea," Alice said happily. "Lets go!"

Her and Marlene both got up and went to sit down on the sofa next to James. Lily caught Marlene's eyes across the room, daring her to join them.

Lily and Dorcas exchanged looks and Lily shrugged helplessly. "Let's just get this over with, maybe she'll stop pestering us."

"Fat chance," Dorcas grumbled but she followed Lily as they walked over and sat down, Dorcas stealing the remaining space on the sofa so Lily contented herself with the surprisingly comfortable rug.

"Lily, you can sit here if you want?" James said instantly, half rising from his chair to offer it to her.

"No thanks," Lily stretched out her legs and leant back against Alice's legs. Alice instantly started to play with her hair. She was actually really comfortable on the floor.

James made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat and didn't say anything else. Lily wondered if she'd done anything to upset him but then realised that the obvious tension between Remus and Dorcas was taking up his attention, as well as that of everyone else's.

They pair of them were refusing to look at each other, much to Lily's dismay. She still had no idea why they'd fallen out but it was effecting everyone.

* * *

The knowledge that Remus needed to say to her was easier to think than to actually bring himself to do. It didn't help that Sirius kept giving him pointed looks all the way through double potions and into lunch. In the end, Remus just told him to shove off which, to his credit, Sirius did - speeding up to steer Marlene away from Dorcas after eyeing him for a second.

Remus sighed and prepared himself for what he was about to do. It was mental, he didn't know how or why he'd been talked into doing this but he supposed he best get it over with.

"Dorcas," he reached out and hooked a hand around her arm, pulling her to a stop.

Dorcas glanced back at him, then at Marlene and Lily walking away from her then she looked at him again. "What?"

Remus sighed, her tone wasn't the sort he'd been hoping for but it would have to do. "I need - can we talk?"

Narrowing her eyes, Dorcas hesitated momentarily before following him into a deserted classroom.

Remus shut the door hastily after her, glancing up and down the corridor before he did. It was lunch and most people were either in the great hall or outside. He doubted they'd be disturbed but he quickly cast a Muffilito charm over the room to be on the safe side then turned to face Dorcas.

She was leaning against the teachers table, avoiding his eyes by looking down at the floor.

Remus cleared his throat, feeling his palms start to sweat. He didn't know wether he could do this. He'd told Sirius he could. Told himself he could but who had he been kidding? Once it came to the point where there was only one last chance to back out, he was sorely tempted.

"What do you want, Remus?" The coolness in her voice made Remus feel dismayed. He couldn't tell her.

"I..." he felt the energy drain out of him and his shoulders sagged. "Nothing, it's nothing, forget this conversation ever happened."

Dorcas took a steady step towards him, still keeping a respectable distance between them but Remus struggled not to mirror her actions and move back. "So you drag me in here to tell me 'nothing'?" She folded her arms and glared at him. "I don't understand you Remus, and I'm getting tired of trying."

"I can't tell you," Remus shook his head slowly. "I thought I could, I'm sorry."

"Why can't you tell me?" Dorcas took another step towards him and this time, Remus was frozen to the spot.

"Because you'd hate me for it, because you'd never be able to look at me again." His voice came out hoarse and croaky.

Dorcas blinked in surprise. "I don't think I would," she said quietly.

"You don't know that!" Remus moved away from her so quickly he barely registered himself doing it.

Dorcas shook her head. "Isn't that for me to decide?" She asked but she sounded annoyed again.

"No," Remus started to shake his own head. "No it isn't."

"Then why did you drag me in here?" Dorcas almost yelled and Remus had never seen her look so frustrated at him. It reminded him of when she'd almost punched her way through to the boys dormitories after Marlene and Sirius had split up.

"Because I was going to -"

"But you chickened out?" Dorcas cut over him, eyes blazing. "I apologise for being a bit pissed when you change your mind at the last second and make me miss my lunch!"

"That's the most important thing to you is it Dorcas?" Remus shot at her, firing up automatically at her accusing voice. "That you don't miss lunch?"

"Well since you're obviously too cowardly to tell me what's going on, it looks like it is," Dorcas snapped back. She made to step past him, adding angrily. "Am I allowed to leave now or do you want to waste more of my time on absolutely nothing?"

Anger and frustration and the need to stop her walking away and leaving their friendship in this tattered state was what caused Remus to turn and, before Dorcas got to the door, say quietly but audibly, "I'm a werewolf."

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews before you find out what happens - don't leave it to other people folks! :)**


	28. Chapter 28 - Sucker For Pain

**A/N okay so here's a longer, much more satisfying chapter. Thank you to all the people who reviewed, they spurred me to write this one. Plus I've been poorly and nothing better to do than watch to and write this so here you go, enjoy!**

**FIVE REVIEWS BEFORE NEXT CHAPTER! :)**

**Everything belongs to Jo x**

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 28: Sucker For Pain

_"There's a limit to your love._

_Like a waterfall in slow motion,_

_Like a map with no ocean._

_There's a limit to your love."_

_\- The Limit To Your Love, The Reminder_

* * *

Dorcas could see Remus's lips moving but she couldn't hear a word he was saying as her world came crashing down around her ears. Only one thing rang about in her head; "_Werewolf, werewolf, werewolf_." She shook her head as Remus finally appeared to notice she wasn't paying attention to what he was saying and stopped talking. "I don't understand," she stared at him like she'd never seen him before. Or she was only just seeing him.

"I was turned as a kid, before I came to Hogwarts." Remus looked defeated in every sense of the word. His shoulders sagged and he hung his head, his sandy-blonde hair hiding his face. The face that was marred by scars.

"You've been hiding this for seven years?" Dorcas hissed, gripping a table so she could remain standing. "Does anyone know?"

Remus sighed, "James, Sirius and Peter worked it out after a while of knowing me."

Dorcas couldn't take it in. She needed air to breathe. "Anyone else?" She asked tersely.

"Marlene found out about a year ago -"

"_Marlene_?" Dorcas choked. "Marlene knew but you didn't think to tell me?" This fact hurt more than she felt it should. Tears began to cloud her sight and Dorcas blinked them back furiously. She never cried and now would not be the start.

"I'm telling you now," Remus said quietly.

Dorcas shook her head. "Can you honestly say you would be telling me if we hadn't argued the other day?"

Remus raised his eyes to meet hers and opened his mouth to speak but the words seemed to get caught. She didn't need any more confirmation.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Dorcas strode to the door, nearly yanking it off its hinges in her haste to escape. She heard him call her name as it swung shut behind her but she was too long gone to turn around now. And besides, the tears that had been building behind her eyes had started to fall and she didn't want him to see that.

The door closed with a slam and Remus stood utterly still in shock for a moment. Then the reality of what had just happened came crashing down and his face crumpled. He collapsed into a chair and pressed his face deep into his hands, trying to block out the knowledge that he may have just driven away one of the brightest lights in his life. Remus lost himself in the pain of those thoughts and punished himself for it, again and again and again.

* * *

"James is intent on making this stupid man auction bullshit," Sirius groaned and rolled over on his bed, pressing his face into Marlene's stomach as the pair of them lay in the boys dormitories, stealing some time together which seemed to come along so rarely nowadays.

Sirius felt the quiet laughter shake her body slightly as he closed his eyes and inhaled her smell and focused on the feel of her fingers running through his hair. "I would've thought that was right up your street," she mused lightly.

Sirius pulled back to look up at her. She was sitting propped up slightly against his headboard and smirking. "What do you mean by that?" He asked accusingly, eyebrows furrowing together.

"Nothing," Marlene's smirk just grew bigger. "I just assumed having a load of girls waging money on you would be something you'd enjoy."

Sirius grinned and grabbed her hips and, ignoring her protests, pulled her down so she was lying on her back, glaring up at him. "Only if one of those girls is you," he muttered, brushing the tip of his nose along her jawline. "Anyone else? Well, they have nothing on you babe."

Marlene grinned and lifted his face up to kiss him properly. "Correct answer," she mumbled.

After a moment of kissing her, a thought popped into his head and he pulled back, ignoring her noises of complaint. Instead, he propped his head up on his hand and looked down at her thoughtfully.

"What?" Marlene asked, seeing that he had his idea face on and copying his actions so their heads were on level with each other's.

"If you succeed in out bidding all the others, which if you don't by the way, know you will have subjected me to an afternoon of hell," here he paused for affect and Marlene rolled her eyes. "But if you do, won't people know we're together again?"

He watched her face as she processed this for a moment. Then she smiled, "yeah probably."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "you don't mind?"

Marlene was still smiling as she shook her head. "No I don't, I feel more sure about us than I've ever done, a bit of gossip won't affect us anymore."

Sirius grinned and relaxed back onto the bed, "good, you better win that auction then."

"Oh you will be paying me back," Marlene warned. Sirius barely had any time to nod in agreement before she'd pressed her lips against his, instantly biting down and making him open his mouth to allow her access.

Sirius had just reached up to tangle his hands in her hair when the door was thrown open and James stumbled through, face white with shock. "Padfoot, we have a major problem with Remus."

Sirius sat up quickly and stared at him. "What do you mean?"

James grimaced in a way that told him that it wasn't good. "I think you should just come and see for yourself."

* * *

"I found him about twenty minutes ago walking along the fourth floor," James explained as Marlene and Sirius both hurried after him from the common room. "He said he needed to hit something so I shoved him into the Room of Requirement. Pete's with him right now."

Sirius nodded, "good call. Do you know what happened?"

James sent him a look that stated that he knew exactly what had happened but couldn't talk about it.

"Oh shit..." Sirius seemed to understand and his pace quickened.

"What? What is it?" Marlene asked them as she kept up with them both along the corridor. "What have I missed?"

James was about to reply when he realised that they had already reached the tapestry that signalled where the room was. He sighed heavily and opened the door. "I think we should ask him ourselves..." His words trailed off as he took in the state of the room. It had been something which resembled a small basement when James had left it to go and find Sirius. There had been a shelf of awards and a stuffed cylinder of hard material that he gathered was used in the muggle sport 'boxing'. However, now the trophies were scattered, broken over the floor and one of the shelves was hanging down having been ripped off. The punch bag was in he corner of the room where Peter was using it as a seat and there was even a fist-shaped crack in the wall were it looked like Remus had punched it.

The mess around the room was nothing compared to the huddled figure in the centre.

"Moons? you alright mate?" Sirius asked, walking into the room cautiously.

Remus shifted and raised his head. He looked terrible. "Well," he said in a cracked and hoarse voice. "I told her."

"You did what?" Marlene shot, staring wide eyed at him.

"I told Dorcas I'm a werewolf!" Remus snapped, self-loathing in every word. "And she reacted in the way any sane person would!"

"I can't help feeling like that's a dig at us," James mumbled but one look from Marlene shut him up. He glanced across at Peter who made a grimacing face in reply.

"She's probably just shocked," Sirius started.

"Oh, she was definitely shocked," Remus cut over him miserably. "I've ruined everything!" He moaned and returned his head to hiding in his hands.

James moved forward and patted his friend on the back, "I think what you need is a night out Moons."

Remus lifted his head again and James knew the reckless side of him that occasionally came out had been sparked with interest. "Hogs Head?" He asked weakly.

James grinned. "You read my mind."

"You're...going now?" Marlene frowned. "But what about Dorcas?"

"What about her?" Sirius asked. "Remus has done nothing wrong."

Marlene pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, "I know that, but... I just have to make sure she's alright." She started walking backwards towards the door. "I'm sorry Remus," she said quietly.

Remus waved her apology off as the door shut behind her. "Let's just go now," he muttered. "I need a drink."

* * *

Marlene sat in the common room and waited for Dorcas to come back from wherever she'd gone. She still had no idea what to say to her friend but she felt that Dorcas would need her support in this uncertain time. Marlene wondered when the boys would get back, probably in the early hours of the morning, they didn't have the map but they still had the cloak - even if they had to crouch to stop their feet being seen.

She hoped they'd be alright out there in the middle of the night. After all, Marlene had never seen Remus freak out like that in all the time she'd known him. He was so...level-headed, nothing like that mess she'd just seen.

Marlene was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't realise Lily had sat down with her until her name being spoken with growing annoyance seemed to break through.

"Marlene, Marlene are you listening?"

"Yeah, what?" Marlene frowned at the redhead sitting opposite her.

"Have you seen James anywhere? He was supposed to be helping me out with this ridiculous prefect meeting tonight and I can't find him anywhere - or Remus for that matter." Here her brow furrowed in thought, "which is really unlike him."

Marlene waved her hand in dismissal of Lily's questions. "James and the boys took Remus down to Hogsmead for a drink."

"Um, they did what?" Lily's tone chilled the blood.

"Oh it's nothing," Marlene said quickly before Lily could jump from her seat to go after them and drag them back. "Remus is just going through a hard time and -"

"Sneaking out is going to make him feel better is it?" Lily scowled. "I should report this..."

Marlene turned to face her. "Yes, but you aren't because they're doing it for Remus's sake."

"You're just trying to cover up for your boyfriend," Lily grumbled but she sank into her seat, crossed her arms and glared at the fire instead.

Marlene sighed heavily, "I'm not trying to cover up for any of them."

"What's wrong with Remus anyway?" Lily asked, "I saw him this morning, he seemed fine."

"Yes, well presumably that was before he said what he said to Dorcas."

Lily froze, "what?"

Marlene's whole body twisted in her seat as she heard the portrait hole open and saw Dorcas stepping through it, barely a minute before curfew began.

"You're cutting it very fine Dor," Lily said, and although Marlene knew she said it as a joke, Dorcas didn't smile. She just looked at them undecided for a moment.

"You alright?" Marlene asked gently.

Dorcas shrugged. "Have any of you seen Lupin? I've been looking for him everywhere."

Marlene was about to lie and say she didn't know but Lily's voice cut over saying "apparently they've all gone down to Hogsmead to get pissed. And on a Thursday night, I ask you!"

"Ah," Dorcas muttered, looking away and carefully avoiding Marlene's gaze. "I see."

"Dor, talk to me," Marlene said quietly. "I know what happened -"

"You do, do you?" Dorcas spun around to shoot at her and Marlene recoiled, feeling like she'd just been slapped. "So you'll also know that I feel like a _fucking idiot_ for not even noticing?"

"I -"

"Actually, save it Marlene, I don't want to hear excuses about why you couldn't tell me." Dorcas turned away, holding up her hand.

Anger at the injustice of this statement bubbled up in the pit of Marlene's stomach and she stood up. "I didn't tell you anything Dorcas because it wasn't my secret to tell! You didn't even speak to him before this year so give me one reason why I should have?"

"Because you're my best friend!" Dorcas's voice rose in anger and Marlene saw with unease that they'd attracted the attention of a few second years sitting around the table near them. "You could've warned me what I was getting into! Instead you just turned a blind eye while I got closer and closer with him, knowing full well exactly what sort of a secret he keeps from everyone!"

The bluntness of this statement cause Marlene to reel back. This was the first time Dorcas had come close to revealing that she felt more for Remus than she'd ever let on. She took a step towards Dorcas and tried to reach for her, attempting to comfort her but Dorcas pulled back and stumbled back. "I'm going to bed," she mumbled. "I won't tell anyone if that's what your worried about."

"I was worried about you!" Marlene called after her retreating back but Dorcas didn't show any signs of hearing her.

"So are you going to tell me what that was all about or not?" Lily asked calmly as Marlene slumped into her seat, letting out a defeated sigh.

"I can't," Marlene growled. "Like I said; it's not my secret to tell." She glanced sideways and added gently, "sorry."

Lily shrugged, "don't worry about it, I know Remus wouldn't exactly be grateful if too many people knew about him being a werewolf."

Marlene sighed again, heavier this time. "Did James tell you?"

Lily snorted, "Potter? God no, you know he'd keep his friend's secrets to his grave if they asked him to. No, I worked it out in fifth year."

Marlene stared at her. "So... You've known all this time? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Give me some credit Marls, I'm not entirely insensitive. Besides, I always liked Remus the most and it's not like he chose to be one is it?" Lily smiled sadly. "Severus always thought there was something suspicious, when I realised I always tried to cover it up but I don't know how much that strategy worked. The biggest offence Remus ever did was not getting involved when they bullied him, but that's not something I could ever dislike him for exactly. And anyway, I wouldn't wish being a werewolf on my worst enemy."

Marlene stared at her, full of wonder at the person sitting in front of her. How had she never supposed Lily might work it out, she was after all, one of the brightest witches in their year.

"Don't tell Remus or the boys that I know," Lily said, suddenly looking nervous. "When Remus feel like he can trust me with his secret, then he can tell me. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or exposed."

Marlene smiled and reached across to pat her friend's hand gently. "You are the best person I know Lily."

Lily scoffed and shook her head. "Hardly, I can think of loads of things I'm bad at."

"That wasn't really my point," Marlene grinned and got up to sit down on the sofa next to her, leaning her head on Lily's shoulder. "I won't say anything to Remus but I know that one day he'll tell you himself."

Lily leaned her cheeks on top of Marlene's head and smiled to herself sadly. "I hope so, Mars, I hope so."

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews before you find out what happens - don't leave it to other people folks! :)**

**IMPORTANT: I've been asked a couple of times if I've deleted 'All Goes Round Again' and the answer is yes I have. Mainly due to the fact it wasn't going anywhere and I felt I should focus on this story which is defiantly going somewhere. I have an idea for another fanfic but I'll only start it once this story is finished. I'm thinking roughly around 40 chapters then maybe a part 2... We'll see how it goes.**


	29. Chapter 29 - Innocent Or Wise

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**Everything belongs to Jo x**

**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 29: Innocent Or Wise

_"Anyone can tell you there's no more road to ride  
_

_Everyone will tell you there's no place to hide_

_There's no laws or rules to unchain your life_

_But the ones who didn't make it,_

_The ones who couldn't take it,_

_So glad they made it out alive."_

_\- Hate, Cat Power_

* * *

"Albus, please don't say it's true!" Minerva McGonagall felt her knees grow weak and she sank into her chair. The headmaster pursed his lips in a grim line and that was all the answer she needed. "Oh Merlin..." She whispered, hand clutching at her heart. She hadn't felt this powerless since Marlene McKinnon had been taken last year. "What on earth were they doing in Hogsmead?"

"I have no idea but they're missing and haven't been seen since last night." Albus Dumbledore took off his glasses and cleaned them. "We are now faced with the decision of stopping all Hogsmead visits, it's simply not safe anymore."

"Can't the ministry -"

"The ministry is under the control of Voldemort, there's not a lot the Aurors can do without certain backup."

Minerva leaned back in her seat, still feeling shaken. "Have you informed the families?"

"It's all taken care of," Albus said and Minerva was shocked to realise that he looked tired, really tired. "Now all that's left is to decide whether or not to inform the students."

Minerva thought about this for a moment. She knew which relationships the students in her house were the strongest and which were the weakest and she knew who they had to tell first. "Marlene McKinnon will need to be told," she said finally. "And I will do it."

Albus surveyed her for a moment then nodded his agreement.

Minerva stood and turned for the door. Just before she left the room however, she turned back. "Albus," she said quietly. The headmaster looked up curiously. "You have to do everything in your power to get those boys back." She gave a short laugh at the thought of what she was about to say out loud. "If anything were to happen to them, I don't know what I'd do."

Albus smiled but there was understanding in his eyes. Understanding and sadness. Minerva wasn't sure which emotion she preferred.

* * *

Dorcas groaned and rolled over in her bed. It struck her then that she couldn't move her legs and panic gripped her momentarily before she realised that it was because her legs were tightly wrapped up in the bedsheets. Scrambling in an effort to untangle them, she managed to topple over the side of the bed and land in a heap on the floor. Huffing irritably to herself she sat up and saw Alice sitting on the edge of her own bed, looking down at her with an amused expression.

"You alright there Dor?"

Dorcas frowned. "Fine," she growled. It was made apparent to her that her mood from the night before hadn't worn off and she was itching to go downstairs and do something she would probably regret later. Like hitting Remus...or something along those lines.

"Everyone else is already down at breakfast," Alice said as if she hadn't seen the dark thundercloud hanging over Dorcas's head. "I waited for you, Marlene seemed pretty keen to go down early."

Dorcas groaned and ran a hand through her tangled hair. Being angry at Remus was one thing but she knew she'd have to apologise to Marlene who hadn't done anything wrong. Resigning herself, Dorcas got to her feet and gave Alice a half smile, "thanks Al - for waiting I mean."

Alice shrugged, "tensions are a little high at the moment. I like to worry about other people's stuff so I can forget about my own."

Dorcas shot a sympathetic grimace over her shoulder as she walked into the bathroom. "How's Frank doing?" She called as she tried to tame her hair into a ponytail.

"He's doing alright actually," Alice said. "He loves the Auror program, I think that's what I'm going to go into when I finish."

Dorcas nodded, even though Alice couldn't see her. "You'd make a good Auror," she said.

She finished getting ready in silence, Alice seemed to assume that Dorcas needed the quiet to think things over in her head. Dorcas on the other hand craved distraction but she couldn't think of anything to say.

The common room was empty which was strange for a Friday morning. Usually there was a least a few people hanging around in their free period but there was no one. The corridors were strangely deserted as well, the odd person walking in the opposite direction but apart from that, Dorcas hardly saw anyone as she and Alice made their way down towards the Great Hall for breakfast. It wasn't like they were late either, they were reasonably on time and the lack of people was making the hairs on the back of Dorcas's neck stand on end. Where was everyone?

When they got to the Great Hall they discovered the answer to that question. The hall was full to the brim with students all sitting and talking loudly and chaotically.

"What the hell is going on?" Alice said, staring at everyone with wide eyes.

Dorcas shrugged, feeling unease creeping up on her but unwilling to show it. "I don't know, let's just find the others and sit down."

Alice nodded and linked their arms. Dorcas appreciated the tiny, supportive gesture more than she could say. She had no idea what she was going to say to Remus when she saw him but she could feel she was still angry with him.

"I can see Lily," Alice said and without waiting for an answer, dragged Dorcas off towards the redhead sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table. "Lily!"

Lily turned towards them and the uneasy feeling Dorcas had experienced that morning intensified. Her friend was frowning and had been pushing her food around her plate for what looked like a while. The milk had soaked into the rice crispy' so much that it was all just one soggy mush now.

"What's wrong Lil?" Alice said, obviously having the same suspicions as Dorcas. "Are you okay?"

"Haven't you heard what everyone's saying?" Lily said nervously, avoiding Dorcas's eyes which did nothing to stop her unease. When neither of them replied Lily looked down at her bowl and said quietly, "there was an attack on Hogsmead last night."

"Oh no!" Alice covered her mouth with her hand in shock but Dorcas had frozen at those words.

Lily was now looking at her and this time, she could see the fear in her eyes. And all Dorcas could think was 'Not them. Not him.'

"Are they -" Dorcas began but stopped when she caught sight of Lily's face.

"They haven't come down for breakfast."

"Oh God," Alice sat down heavily on the bench. "Surely not - how could they - I don't understand..."

Dorcas shook her head, "where's Marlene?"

Lily gulped, looking like she was on the verge of tears.

"Lily..." Dorcas growled. "Please say she didn't go out with them in the end, please."

"No," Lily said, swallowing. "But that's the other thing you see... McGonagall came over a bit before you arrived and said she needed to talk to her."

That was Dorcas felt something snap inside her. She slammed her fist down on the table. "No, this isn't happening to us again. It's too much to handle this time."

"Dorcas -"

"No Lily, I can't deal anymore! I managed to hold it together last year when Marlene was taken but I can't do it again." She was ranting, she knew it, but even as she heard her voice get louder and more panicked, the little break inside her refused to heal. Until she turned to walk out of the Great Hall and came face to face with Marlene.

The pair of them stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity without saying anything. In that moment, words weren't needed, all she needed was to see Marlene's face which was white and stricken and looking back at her and Dorcas knew that she would have to stay strong. Because if she didn't, then they would all break and that couldn't happen. She couldn't let them be broken into pieces. So she moved forward and took Marlene in her arms, squeezing her tightly as Lily gasped for air, tears running down her face and Alice tried to comfort her. The rest of the Gryffindors seemed to feel awkward with their misery, choosing to ignore the four grieving girls but attempting to show solidarity with the odd pat on the back or consoling words as they sat there.

Dorcas stayed in a daze for the rest of the day, hating herself for the words she'd said to Remus the last time she'd spoken to him and thinking that, in hindsight, their argument was stupidly petty. It didn't really matter what he was, not to her anyway. Dorcas swore to herself that if she ever saw him again, she'd tell him that.

* * *

The darkness was little compared to the fog that clouded James's head. His eyes felt gritty and he ached all over his body. Groaning, he tried to roll over but found his movements restricted. Looking down hazily, he saw thick manacles around his wrists, attaching him by chains to the wall.

Slowly, dreadfully it all started coming back to him. They'd just left the Hogs Head and they had all had quite a bit to drink. The Landlord at the pub was willing to keep quite and not tell anyone about their nightly visits as long as they paid him extra. They had been walking back down the main street, James could remember arguing with Sirius about something or other when everything had gone black and he'd felt pain in the back of his head. He assumed in hindsight that he'd been hit and knocked unconscious before being brought here...wherever here was.

James pulled on the chains, experimenting with the pressure but they remained fixed. Exhaustion suddenly hit him and he slumped against the wall. He didn't know where he was and he didn't know where any of the others were. Worry gripped him at the thought of what their captors might have done to them. Sirius, who would ask for a fight until he got one but would break in the end; Remus who would try and talk his way out of it but no doubt would be subjected to all sorts of horrors and Peter, little Peter who was possibly the most vulnerable. James had to hope that they would leave him be, thinking he wasn't much use. Not once did it cross his mind to be worried for himself and that thought unnerved him greatly.

* * *

Marlene was pacing. Back and forth, back and forth. It was all Lily could do just to follow her with her eyes while she wallowed in her thoughts.

"This is ridiculous!" Marlene suddenly snapped, rounding in them. "I can't sit here like this, pretending nothing's wrong."

"Nobody's pretending anything," Dorcas grumbled. "I'm not the one who refused the day off lessons," she added with a pointed look at Lily.

Lily instantly fired up in defence. "I needed a distraction!" She snapped. "And lessons are a good routine."

"Is this how it worked when I was gone?" Marlene asked suddenly. "Did everyone just crave distractions?" Her face wasn't easy to read but Lily could see the underlying pain on it.

"No," she said softly. "James and Sirius were frantic to help get you out."

Marlene was looking desperate. "So why aren't we doing the same now?"

Lily found she couldn't reply to that so she just looked helplessly at Dorcas instead and watched as Marlene slumped down on the sofa and put her head in her hands, breathing slowly.

"I've known Sirius since I was eight years old," she said quietly. "I've known James practically my whole life. To think that they could be gone and I'll never see them again? I don't know what to do with that information."

Lily couldn't speak. She'd been devastated when Marlene had been taken, of course she had, but this was different. It felt like there was a hole growing in the place where her heart was and it just kept getting bigger and bigger the more time passed with no news. No news of James. Pain. That's what the feeling was, pain at the idea that she might never see him ruffle that stupid hair of his, or see his idiotic smile directed at her. Lily drew in a shaky breath and spoke aloud the words that had been plaguing her ever since he'd gone missing. "I think I might love him."

Three pairs of eyes stared at her uncomprehendingly and an unwelcome silence followed letting what she'd really said sink in for her.

"Lily," Dorcas said, breaking the silence and looking at her pityingly. "I understand that your upset but I wouldn't go saying stuff you'll regret later." She paused, "you know, like the 'l-o-v-e' word."

Lily scowled and drew her knees up to her chest, staring at the fire. "What if I actually meant it?" She asked after a moment.

This time, it was Alice who reached across and squeezed her shoulder gently. "Wait until he comes back and then reassess this, it might just be like a kind of withdrawal."

"But what if he doesn't come back?" Lily whispered, fearing to say the words in front of Marlene who flinched slightly but sent her a small, sad smile all the same.

Alice too, smiled sadly. "Then it's probably best if you don't love him, it will save you all sorts of pain."

At this, Marlene's mask seemed to break and she let out a small sob, covering her face she got up and fled before any of them could try to comfort her.

"Oh no," Alice looked distressed. "I didn't mean to upset her more."

"She loves him," Dorcas spoke up from the depths of her armchair. She wasn't looking at either of them, preferring to keep her eyes trained on the fire.

Alice pursed her lips. "Well of course she does," she said. "Her and James are like family."

"I wasn't talking about James," Dorcas replied, still not looking at either of them, her face remaining impassive.

None of them said anything to that, knowing full well that Dorcas was right.

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	30. Chapter 30 - The Beginning of the End

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**Will It Ever End?**

Chapter 30: The Beginning of the End

_"Where do I even start_

_To pick it all up when it's falling apart?_

_Where do I even start?_

_Why does it seem so hard?"_

_\- Where Do I Even Start? Morgan Taylor Reid_

* * *

The clinking of metal on metal was what woke Peter from a restless sleep. He'd barely been allowed to close his eyes for what felt like days and when he'd finally found a tiny ounce of unconsciousness he'd been abruptly woken.

"Peeeeettterrr!" Someone called softly. "Peter Pettigreewwww!"

Peter lifted his head and squinted as a sudden, blinding white light hit him full in the face. Trying to lift his hand to shield his eyes, he blinked, attempting to see through the glare.

Then the light was gone and the darkness closed in around him again for a moment before Peter could finally make out an outline of a person. "What do you want with me?" He whispered hoarsely, terror filling him when they didn't reply. Silence was worse than anything, it made him feel alone and helpless.

"We don't want anything Peter," the voice said. "Just your help."

"My help?" Peter felt really confused. He tried to think of what James, Sirius or Remus would do in his situation but he couldn't really remember.

"Your friends deserted you," the voice said and this time, Peter could hear the hiss in it.

He shivered, shaking his head quickly, "they wouldn't leave me!"

"Your loyalty to them is admirable," footsteps as the person moved towards him. "But they have never appreciated you have they? Always just taken you for granted."

Peter shook his head again and tried to crawl backwards and away from the man but he came up against the wall and was trapped. "They're my friends," he stumbled over the words like they were unfamiliar to him. "They would never leave me here."

"I've spoken to them," the man said calmly. "And I saw that they would each die for one another, but you? They would let you go because you are a nuisance to them. Little Peter, always in need of help, not clever, not handsome, in no way part of the gang."

Peter could feel the man leaning towards him and he tried to recoil but couldn't.

"They felt sorry for you," the voice whispered in his ear. "That's the only reason."

"No," Peter whispered, his voice fading with every passing second. "That's not true."

"Tell me Wormtail," the tip of a wand suddenly lit up the room and the face that was inches from his. Peter shrank back in true fear and the face of Voldemort smiled down at him. "Do you want to go home?"

They were in Potions when Professor McGonagall came to get them. Marlene jumped out of her seat like she'd been stung, Dorcas tripped over several bags in her haste to get out of the classroom and Lily, completely undignified, practically shoved the professor out of the way when McGonagall tried to get them to enter the hospital wing separately. In the end, all three of them stood, huddled around Peter's bed.

He was sleeping, wrapped head to toe in bandages. Lily had barely recognised him at first. She wondered if the rest of the boys were alright or if they were in a worse shape than Peter.

"Where did you find him?" Dorcas asked.

McGonagall frowned. "In an abandoned warehouse, Aurors searched the place but there was no sign of the other boys anywhere. We think they were being moved and Mr Pettigrew was left for us to find."

"Like a trail?" Dorcas asked, horrified. "Is that what we have to do? Follow the trail until they're all found."

"Aside from the fact that it is all speculative, I don't think it's going to be that easy." McGonagall said drily. "We will find the others, rest assured."

Lily bit her lip and stared down at Peter's frail body. She didn't doubt they'd find the others, she just didn't know if they'd find them alive.

"Are you sure there is nothing we can do, Professor?" Marlene asked. She seemed to be trying not to look at Peter lying in front of her and was looking at the teacher with an almost desperate expression.

"When Mr Pettigrew wakes, try and find out as much as you can from him. Apart from that I'm afraid there isn't anything you can do," McGonagall explained with a sympathetic glance at her students. Then she turned and left them standing by Peter's bedside in silence.

* * *

Three days passed and there was still no more news. By this time Peter had woken up but was being confined to the hospital wing in case he started bleeding internally, Dorcas wasn't particularly good at remembering the details. She spent her days surviving, not really living; just surviving. She knew she wouldn't feel better until they heard news – good or bad, it didn't make much difference – it would be enough. She knew she couldn't feel as bad as Marlene did, not in the slightest. The girl was like a ghost, drifting from class to class, not engaging in anything – even Lily's poor attempts to raise spirits by suggesting they go shopping for decorations for the ball.

"Doe, are you alright?"

Dorcas jumped in surprise at being addressed, then relaxed when she saw it was just Lily. They were sitting together out in the courtyard, huddled together against the cold October breeze.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Dorcas mumbled, rubbing her hands against her legs to warm them up a bit. For the time of the year, it was unusually chilly.

Lily pressed closer to her, their arms squishing together. "I know you're not. You're the only one who hasn't been freaking out over this whole thing – well, apart from Alice. You're allowed to say that you're not fine." She paused and waited for Dorcas to say something. When Dorcas couldn't, she sighed. "I'm not Marlene, Doe, I can handle it."

"She's not weak," Dorcas replied instantly. "It's just affecting her more than us. She's been having nightmares about that time..." she trailed off, knowing that Lily would understand what she meant.

"I know," Lily said firmly. "What did she do to get rid of them last time? She hasn't had nightmares in a while."

Dorcas looked at her feeling a mixture of pity and exasperation. "What do you think got rid of them?" she said, then added, "Or who, it might be more accurate to say."

"Ohh," Lily clicked her tongue as the realisation hit her. "And now he's gone."

Dorcas sighed and stared at the cracks in the wall straight ahead of her. "Now they've all gone. And it's all my fault."

"No it's not!" Lily's reaction was instant and feroucious. "You mustn't ever think that!"

Dorcas bit the inside of her cheek to keep from bursting into tears. "Yes, Lily, it is."

Lily was silent for a moment. "You were shocked Dorcas, shock makes people say things."

"Why am I not surprised that you know?" Dorcas looked sideways at her, shaking her head. "You always know everything."

"I don't know everything; I would've stopped them doing such a stupid, foolish, idiotic, reckless thing."

"Did you run out of adjectives?" Dorcas almost laughed.

Lily gave a reluctant chuckle. "Honestly, if they ever get back, I'll bloody kill them myself."

"I'll help you," Dorcas growled. She hesitated, and then said slowly, "You should tell him, you know."

"Tell who what?"

"Potter," Dorcas watched as Lily's expression closed down abruptly. "You should tell him how you feel."

"I can't," Lily sounded like the words pained her even as she spoke them. "I don't know if I can get involved with someone like that. There's too much risk nowadays."

Dorcas knew exactly what Lily was saying. The war. It was like a shadow hanging over their heads like a dark cloud, not in reach, but close enough that they could sense its presence. Dorcas knew that as soon as they left the safety walls of Hogwarts for the last time, they would find themselves in the middle of a shitstorm. What with the boys being gone, however, Dorcas knew there wasn't enough time to be careful about these things. Now was the time for risk, because they might not get another chance. "That's exactly why you should tell him."

Lily grimaced, half agreeing with her, the other half doubtful. "That's if we ever see them again."

* * *

The difference between them wasn't obvious to the outsider, but Marlene knew that Sirius and James were opposite sides of a coin. The only thing that truly tied them together was their love for trouble and the love they felt for each other. She remembered when she was eleven and she'd been so excited to start Hogwarts with James and Sirius – even though they didn't know each other, she wanted to be the one to introduce them. She knew that they would all be the best of friends and nothing much would change.

But of course, things don't ever go exactly to plan; Sirius and James had met each other without her making the introductions. James had been waiting for her in a carriage when Sirius had walked in and the two of them had gotten talking. Marlene had only found them later on in the journey because she'd met Dorcas and Mary. Marlene remembered walking into their compartment and feeling so astonished when she saw them sitting together and laughing together. Astonished and hurt that she hadn't been there from the beginning of their friendship. It was no longer James and Marlene, or Sirius and Marlene, suddenly it was James and Sirius and Marlene was only a witness, an outsider like everyone else. She hadn't spoken to either of them for days after that, unable to shift out of her immature little sulk that Sirius was better friends with James in three days than she had ever been in her life. That was until they had cornered her in the common room one evening and forced her to talk to them, James had wanted to explain and Marlene could still remember exactly what he said.

_"Me and you, Mars, we've know each other forever. I know you better than anyone alive and Sirius knows you pretty good as well. It's time for our turn now, but that doesn't mean I don't want us to be friends. You'll always be my little sister."_

Marlene had grudgingly accepted that but over time, she had found a balance. Now, that balance was overturned and ruined because they were both gone and she couldn't sleep anymore. The nightmares that had haunted her for so long were back with a vengeance. She dreamt of those days where she sat, alone in the dark, aching all over from where she'd been beaten, grieving for the death of her friend. But most of all she dreamt of James's cold, still body lying forgotten in some run-down building. She couldn't bring herself to think of Sirius, that image was too painful. Their absence had left a huge hole inside her that felt like a huge gaping black pit of nothingness. Except the nothingness was filled with dreams that refused to be chased away.

* * *

Something was happening. Remus could sense movement outside the door of his makeshift cell and he could almost taste the adrenaline that was think in the air. He waited, knowing he would find out soon enough. There was the sound of keys jingling on the other side of the door, then the click of the lock sliding back and the door was pulled open. It had to be forced because age and damp had made the frame too small for the metal and so it was stuck but when opened it made the most horrible grinding, screeching noise that made Remus want to clap his hands over his sensitive ears, but he couldn't because his chains wouldn't allow him to reach that far.

Remus's attention was yanked back when something was pushed in through the door before it was slammed shut again. The thing landed with a heavy thud on the hard ground and stayed there, huddled on the floor. The only thing Remus could hear was the figure's heavy breathing.

"Hello?" He called over cautiously. "Who's there?"

The figure shifted at the sound of his voice and Remus could make out in the faint light, a face so covered in bruises, it was barely recognisable but was still unmistakably handsome. "Moony?"

"Padfoot!"

"Are you okay?" Sirius scooted over to him and the pair huddled together, leaning against the wall.

"Am I okay?" Remus asked, lightly. "You're the one who's barely recognisable."

Sirius felt his face cheerfully, "Marlene's going to have a fit when she seems this."

Remus felt his heart sink. "Do you think they're alright?" He asked quietly. "Back at Hogwarts? Do you think they're coping?"

Sirius's expression grew grim. "I don't know. Have you seen James or Pete at all?"

"No," Remus said quietly. "But I heard them mention Pete's name about a day ago."

Sirius nodded, taking that in quietly. "It's him, it's him and his Death Eaters -" he spat on the floor, his face screwed up in hatred. "Bella's already paid me a visit."

Well, that would explain the bruises. Remus found he didn't know what to say, this would be where James handled the situation but Remus hadn't been there when Sirius left home so he felt like he wasn't really experienced enough to deal with his friend's family issues. But James wasn't here, so Remus would have to do the best he could.

"What did she do?" Stupid, he chided himself as soon as the words were out. Sirius probably wouldn't want to talk about it.

But Sirius grinned. "She can't hurt me anymore," he said confidently. "I've been at the reviving end of the worst she's got and she's run out of fresh ideas. How unimaginative."

Remus frowned, "how come you're here? I didn't think they'd be stupid enough to put two of us together."

Sirius shrugged, obviously really caring. "Does it matter? At least we know each other's alive. We can assume the others are too and get out of here."

"Sirius how much longer will it take for them to break you?" Remus asked, suddenly desperate. He could hear an edge to Sirius's voice that he'd only ever heard twice: after Marlene had dumped him and when they'd all stopped talking to him after he pulled that prank on Sanoe in fifth year. He gave Snape information that would lead him down to the Shrieking Shack on the night of a full moon and... Remus froze. The full moon? When was the next full moon? He'd lost count of the days but it was all coming back to him now. "Sirius," he said slowly. "This is bad, very bad."

"What?" Sirius's brow furrowed in concern. "What's wrong?"

"It's tonight," Remus turned to him, imploring him to understand. "It's happening tonight. That's why they put you in with me."

"What's tonight?" Sirius frowned even more in confusion.

Remus was shaking his head back and forth, wringing his hands in anxiety. "It's the full moon, Pads. They've stuck you in with me on a full moon."

Sirius's eyes widened in shock as he finally understood. "Oh, shit."

**REMEMBER: 5 reviews before you find out what happens - don't leave it to other people folks! :)**


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